latmaz
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Posts posted by latmaz
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thanks will take a look at the site u mentioned its not one i have heard of before
have been reading up on dietary stuff funnily enough
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thanks .. i am still going to let him go for the ADOS asssesment as their are definitely traits of aspergers as well but at least we are getting somewhere.
like i said a shame we had to pay for it was worth it as i had to go to the PRU this morning and it was good ammunition with them as well. also can present it to the school that expelled him when we have that hearing
onwards and upwards as they say
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we bit the bullet and paid for ds to go to for an assessment, amazingly we got into see the specialist today (funny how money works isnt it!!!)
anyways the dr verbally gave us a diagnosi of ADHD, he said i am not seeing aspergers but i am most definitely seeing ADHD, hes a textbook case. we are to have one more meeting then hes going to write his formal report
so YAAAY we have a diagnosis BUT <sob> we have a diagnosis. the sense of relief that i have not been imagining things all these years makes me feel validated but on the other hand its never going to be a great day when your child is diagnosed with something
ds was an absolute star today saying whats going on in his head and explaining as best he couldl i was SOO proud of him and told him so but of course this doesnt mean anything to him so we took him out for dinner to demonstrate it
sooo now we begin the next stage of this
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spoke to the ADOS assessment people and they are quoting 18 weeks before he can be seen! i almost burst into tears there and then on the phone
also went drs this morning who has tried to refer us 3 times. first he was told 'school have to refer', then the 'patient does not fit criteria', then that it has to come from TASCC (who are disbanded anyways now). he is as frustrated as us but for some reason in our area he just cannot refer, he has offered to write again but we dont hold out much hope. we know this is true cos he has shown us all the letters he has received back so we are not getting the run around from him
am now thinking maybe i should consider paying for a private assessment to speed things along. does anyone have any recommendations for essex/london/suffolk area?
the ex is insisting on taking ds to a hypnotherapist which at this point i think is not a good idea as we dont know what we are dealing with so i need to get some dx FAST cos hes back to refusing to belive there is any problem and its all in ds 'head'
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thankyou both for your further comments, sorry i didnt realise they were here as i didnt get notification and have been very busy over easter
have tried to speak to ACE a few times but constantly get sorry all advisors are busy etc. YOT put an EWO onto us who was very helpful and also felt that our appeal has a good chance of being successful so we are pursuing that altho he may not go back to that school even if we win unless they put something in place to meet his needs. i have spent all day doing a timeline showing where they constantly have not followed up their own suggestions. in fact by the time i finished it made me realise even more how let down we were
regarding the bite we still dont know how this came about as we havent had a statement from the school. it may well be that the maths teacher (whose attitude i complained about) grabbed ds aggressively and lets be honest who wouldnt fight back
he has been twice t othe PRU for a couple hours each time and they are hopefully going to offer some more hours after easter
have contacted the ADOS people but have not had a reply but thats on my list to chase tomorrow too. the YOT are also pressing for this to be done sooner (as is my MP!)
its been extremely stressful lately not helped by the ex hub and his unhelpful attitude but its nice to have the support of everyone here
hope everyone has a lovely easter break
x
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no he dosent get DLA something i hadnt even thought of applying for. i guess up til now i always thought we needed a diagnosis before we could do anything but thanks to everyones input here i realise that is not the case
as far as whether they have ASD specialist i am not sure of this at the moment as only had a quick visit yesterday. as usual ds presented well and everyone was thinking umm how come this kid is here - am still trying to explain to ds that he must say what is in his head not what he thinks everyone wants him to say but its a slow process
dont think the planned move route is being considered in this case tho it was mentioned at one point. i guess this will have to await the outcome of our appeal
jsmum when i spoke to the youth offending team i was told that an awful lot of the youths they seen in 'prisons' are on the austistic spectrum but have been let down by the system - its sad isnt it but also highlights how we have to keep fighting for our kids, sadly some kids dont have parents that fight for them and get lost
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an update we went along to the pupil referral unit today who have said they have to conisder whether they can offer him a place in light of what occurred. so far ds is going tom and wed from 1-3 for assessments and integration, depending on how that goes they will let me know if he can go and how long for
have notified school of appeal and a few people have said they think we have a case but we shall see
have contacted all the people mentioned in this thread some of whom have been very useful thankfully
thanks again all no doubt there will be another update after easter
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and i used to think it was just me
i got so skilled with the clippers that i could do his hair in about 5 passes!! i used the bribery method too i am afraid, just gave him a bag of sweets and he had 1 for each pass of the clippers. i also did it outside and
immediately i finished he jumped in the bath and i had to wash all the hair off or he scratched himself raw
now ds is older he will go to the barbers BUT we have a haircutting shirt cos once hes had his haircut in a shirt he will not wear it out again no matter how many times i wash it
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as far as biting the teacher my understanding is that as he was throwing things around the teacher restrained him physically and thats when he bit him
am making notes from all your comments to assist me on monday when i ring various people
thank goodness u are all so knowledgeable and willing to help others, i would be lost otherwise
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yes its permanent
will ring ACE on monday to get the pack u suggested their website is very useful
because he has no formal diagnosis he is not treated as having an SEN which sort of makes things more difficult regarding that. my argument will be tho (as u say) that it was cos of an unmet SEN. iuseful to know that any appeal we do will go on his record as that could be useful in years to come when trying for a school/college etc
my ex husband has said he doesnt want to appeal so i have to persuade him to go along with this as he has joint parental custody
will also look into the process u mentioned with the LEA on monday
my phone list is getting longer by the day!!
x
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thanks everyone for the suggestions
thanks Jsmum have asked the youth justice lady to progress it but (typically) she is now on holiday til 6th april and i missed a call from her today whilst i was out. GP has chased the referral but will ask him again in light of the expulsion which he doesnt know about as yet
sally thanks will ask about autism outreach like u i thought he needed a diagnosis first so its useful to know i can talk to them anyways. have looked at the ACE website and took notes from there.
believe it or not but despite that all that has happened he isnt even on action plus let alone anything else, no behaviour support nothing. not even the SEN involved. an EP saw him approx 2 weeks ago at school but have had no report back from her as yet so no idea how that went
not even sure if an appeal is worth it as apparently its very rare for them to be overturned especially as there was violence involved (he bit a teacher) tho it does seem the fact that the school has not given even behaviour support after the last outburst at christmas does question their part in this
need to gird my loins and start phoning everyone AGAIN!!! tonight tho i think its vodka and chocolate <sigh>
thankyou all for your support and suggestions
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well following on our from our previous meltdown where ds ended up arrested he has since had another at school which has resulted in him being expelled
it was in the maths class which has been out of control for some time and about which i have complained a number of times. ds has shown improvement in every class except this one and in fact i complained about the teachers confrontational attitude to the head just 10days before this all happened!!
we have a referral for an ADOS assessment but apparently that could take 3months!! we had a meet with the youth offending officer who felt ds showed all the signs of having an ASD and said she would try and hurry up the ADOS
anyone else been down this road and has any advice as to what happens next and any suggestions?
i am at my wits end and i dont know how u all cope
thanks
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having just had to get a solicitor for my son i was told that as he was under 18 he would get free legal advice whatever... course this was for criminal proceedings and i am not sure if this is the same for all matters
hth
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HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!! just had a phone call from my dr who apparently had a bit of a go at the CAHMS people. the guy has said he WILL now refer ds and will contact me this week for another appointment
i burst into tears. i know this isnt a diagnosis but after all these years we have a referral so thats a start isnt it?
anyways advice/suggestions as to what to ask, tell, do, explain etc for this. do i write a list of his behaviours i think point to ASD or is that not a good idea? do i get Ds to write anything? etc etc
also any advice on what to expect would be good
thanks in advance
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definite group hug!!!
eek at the apple juice thing. Ds has been drinking this lately, its not something i usually buy i have to say but as he was enjoying it i bought more. wonder if orange is the same?
i did try my son wheat free but his dad refused to support it so i had to give up as i thought it was doing him more harm than good going from one house to the other
hope your day continues to improve
x
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YES YES YES!!
even ex hub doesnt think theres a problem. he has an attitude apparently <insane laugh> !! he hasnt told his family cos he doesnt want them to know how bad it gets and up to last week i hadnt told mine either. i just couldnt face the same attitude that sooze mentioned
i actually broke down on the phone to my mum last week when he got arrested and surprisingly she was fairly supportive (in her own way). luckily my new husband is very supportive thankfully as i cannot physcially do anything with ds now - tho i did offer him an out last week cos he 'didnt sign up for this' thank god he said he didnt want out cos not sure what i would have done if he said ok
everyone thinks its all fine and wonderful over here in la la land and if it isnt well he is just being naughty isnt he - its all those computer games dont u know!
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jaffa just wanted to offer u some support, whilst my son is much older i can really sympathise with how u feel havin sat sobbing for an hour myself last night
its hard to know what is the over-riding emotion isnt it? upset cos our lovely boys seem out of control. anger that u arent getting enough support. guilt in case its something we did etc etc etc
i am sure these wonderful people on here will have some more concrete suggestions for you all i can do is offer u a couple of hugs from one who feels the same
x
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he is 13 but a very young 13. feather sounds like u went thru exactly the same, lets hope we come out the other side as u have. its a scary thing seeing your boy fingerprinted etc isnt it.
sally yes am still pushing. the ed psych at school saw him yesterday and if they havent contact me by monday i will be onto them with a vengeance, will also chase dr and if none of them can help will go private and be done with. the card idea is good but i dnt think he could use it, he has one for getting out of class when he feels stressed but in the midst of a meltdown he forgets all about it unfortunately altho in theory he knows what to do he cant
kez it is a reasonable outcome as u say and we are still considering our options re the cmplaint about the shopkeeper as is the other boys mother
thanks
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thought i would let u all know what happened last night when we went to police station
. was quite scary ds had to have his fingerprints, photo and DNA taken and a tape recorded interview. he handled it pretty well tho did get upset when the officer kept pressing him about the theft. anyway in the end they dropped the theft but not the criminal damage which he had to admit to.. so he is to be given a final warning by the police and we have to go back in a few weeks for that
the solicitor said that u cannot use provocation as a defence (except in cases like murder etc) so even if we pressed to take it to court it was likely he would have recieved a conviction tho we could of used what the shopkeeper did as mitigation, it would still have been a conviction on his record tho. the solicitor said he had acted for ADD kids before and that the same had happened for them and sometimes the law is an ass but thats the way it was so he advised us to take the warning which is obviously not as serious as having a record
not quite the outcome we had hoped for but i guess better than it could have been. have told Ds that we cannot risk him going out and about on his own and he agrees (at the moment anyways!!!). in fact it was horrible cos he sat there sobbing saying please dont let me go out on my own mummy i dont want this to happen again
just wanted to thank all of you for your continued support over the last week. umade me see things more clearly and also the suggestions were of such help when i was in a turmoil of what to do and how to do it
many many thanks
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nothing i can add to help but just wanted to say sorry u are going thru this
seems the fight never ends
good luck with the review
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feather we are so remote we hardly have any police officers as we are so remote let alone any trained in asd.
we are to go back tonight to see the police and give statements etc but we do have a solicitor going with us now
thanks to you guys . i will let u all know what happens tonight
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from what my son says he has had a lot of kids stealing but as u say my son didnt leave the shop etc
now have a solicitor who is going to come with us and have given him all the info, he is hopeful the charges may get dropped but i will let u all know what happens when we have been to the station
oh and the advice at the police station is covered and if he has to go to court that is also covered as he is under 18 so thats one worry off the list
thankyou all for helping me get thru the week
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weirdly enough westie i was reading about PDA yesterday and thinking how much it sounded like ds. i have explained to the school in great detail at least 3 times. he is to see the ed psych there tomorrow apparently tho i assume that will be a 10min thing and not much will come out of it
i emailed the man at TASCC and received a reply waffling on about how he found it unusual how some teachers thought ds was wonderful whilst others thought he shouldnt be in the school he was so disruptive (he kept on about this in the meeting).. he also said this
" it was my view that his outbursts of temper would best be seen and dealt with as immature behaviour, and that he needs to learn that we all have to learn to deal with frustration and perceived unfairness in life and that feeing that we have been done an injustice does not entitle us to react disproportionately. It could be said that he has a somewhat paranoid response reaction which makes him feel others are getting at him, but please be clear that I use that word in it’s colloquial sense not a clinical sense. It was my view that this would best be learned through the normal systems of school and home discipline, and natural / reasonable consequences for our actions. I did not think at the time I saw him, that there was any need nor anything to be gained from my giving further individual casework sessions "
he goes onto say he does not see any unequivicol reason that he has any disorder but wouldnt rule it out and suggests i go back to GP (again!!!) .. round in circles
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we rang the police last night and told them what happened about with the shopkeeper and now have an incident number ourselves. we are due to speak to them more on wed and have told them we definitely want at least the duty solicitor tho i may see if i can find one before that
agreed about the shopkeeper he is not at all well liked in the village and apparently is often yelling at the kids. i rarely go in there but have been told he is a big man, over 6 foot and very broad
yaaay........i think
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thanks j's mum i do still think there are aspergers tendencies and maybe we will talk abot them more at the next assessment and of course we do have the ADOS
i guess if its just adhd i am on the wrong forum now
but u have all been so much support and help to me i would hate to leave