paulathomson
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Posts posted by paulathomson
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i know the feeling...they are all bats in my sons school.
i would go into school when collecting your child..they shouldnt have any excuse not to speak with you then...
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no my ds (9) doesnt hum..yet.. but have noticed he has developed a little nod while watching his tv programmes..its not very noitceable unless you are sat next to him.. but it tickles me because he nods as the characters speak.. and nod in time if they are singing...
my nephew( 8, AS) grunts but he began with little hum.
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i have fought with my childs school for over a year about how they 'manage' him and his behaviour and have been the pariah, the parent who is always in and out complaining... have to say that not only is it bad for your child but also your own mental health.
i am currently struggling with my own sanity because of these similar difficulties.. getting the school to listen instead of just saying'' hes been fine''. then he comes home and he pours it all out to me.
even after his dx and after the consultant personally spoke to the headteacher about him and his needs.. they still refused to accept he has any problems..
final straw and i got in touch with local mp.. within a day i had headteacher, year head, son's teacher and senco speaking with me. they have a meeting set up on monday with about 10 people from multi-agency attending..i also have someone attending to support me ( previous experience of them intimidating me)
contacting the mp was by far the best thing i have done.. it tells the school that i know they have made some errors and i will not let them get away with it..
my advice to anyoone who has tried to communicate with school for an extended period is to write a diary and get in touch with mp.
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this seems totally ridiculous and false economy..something to take up with the local mp..
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my son has dx of AS and he has significant speech delay.. didnt speak til age 4 and he is now 9, but some speech is age equivalent of 4-5. i was confused by this too..
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this is interesting.. i have phases where i am at peace with the world no matter what life is throwing at me at the time.. and also phases where im so irritable for no apparent reason.. these seem to be on in a cycle ...maybe 4/5 weeks.. i have been like this all of my life (that which i can remember)..
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I suppose I need to reiterate again that Autism/Aspergers is not synonmous with 'bad' behaviour. In fact, a badly behaving kid will often be dismissed as a spoilt brat whilst Aspies are often more noticeable for extremely good and cooperative behaviour.The head of student services at my college is a Psychologist with intensive experience in neurodiversity and gives training to the police every month. I certainly don't behave badly as an adult yet he is able to explain very concisely to a class of novice police recruits how I physically give off signs of being Autistic. Any Autism specialist should be able to do this, they don't need to see a meltdown like other people do; 'bad' behaviour doesn't even scratch the surface with Autism, yet it seems to be the most talked about issue everywhere.
i understand your point but i think that bad behaviour on show to doctors reinforces the claims made by parent that something is wrong. my child is a very co-operative child and displays good behaviour in most places..and because he is so good this made it more difficult to get his needs addressed because he school were adamant that he has no problems...
it was the occassional 'meltdown' that sparked the idea that something might be wrong..if a child who is so very willing to please and is very good, can swing to this extreme, then maybe something more is going on..
i wished for him to 'play up' when we had appointments because i found it very difficult to verbalise what it was like for both me and him... of course he never did misbehave..like you said they are trained to find the most subtle of clues...
but i also understand why there is a common need for parents to be able to show to doctors what it is like... sometimes they are not taken seriously without 'proof'
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Have you thought about videoing him at home?you beat me to it .. was going to suggest videoing him.. we did this too and took it along to consultant appointment..
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Michael is nearly 9 and is like this all the time............... makes me cringe sometimes!We were watching my eldest play football yesterday morning (he is in a junior league team) and Mike kept telling everyone how rubbish they were............... he was adament they will never win a game and didn't care who heard him say so.
It is soooooooo hard!!!!
Good luck!
<'> <'>my son michael is 11 and half and he is exactly the same.. will let the wolrd know his thoughts even if they are particularly nice thoughts.. and he is NT..in fact my dx'd son is much better behaved than my NT son
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my son is exactly the same and that is the main reason it took so long to get someone to listen to me. again at school he rarely plays up. my son was dx'd by paed and she mainly used my diaries and behaviour checklists. my son also sat good as good during the appointments so she never witnessed for herself his behaviour. she did have his language report which was the most conclusive piece of evidence that pointed to as. i also took along his school reports since he started school.
hope this helps
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i think it is lack of social understanding which is the impetus for this. child usually doesnt realise that their way of talking/shouting to others is inappropriate. this is where school could do thier bit by giving social skills help. some schools have behaviuor support team attached and they can set this up.
my son does this too and has social skills help. my advice is to keep a diary of everything your child says.. where.. when.. and what.. and take when you see doctor. i kept diary for whole year and it was this that helped me get a dx for son.. because he rarely misbehaves at school.
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my boy is 9 and he still runs off when we are out. have read the posts and he was exactly the same when he was younger..missing from garden.. found on road.. missing in town.. found in shop 5 mins away...it was a nitemare. and again i did do the baby reins.. once he got to school he did get better because he didnt want to go to school with baby reins on...
he is better now but still runs off in places where there is alot of stimulus...supermarket.. seaside.. themepark oh that was nitemare too.
i am lucky that he is very good at geographical locations and in the supermarket i use his need to run off to our advantage.. he has his own list to fetch for me and he knows where everything is and where to find me. i also do the aisle in a certain order so he knows if im not a one aisle he will find me at the next.
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I can totally relate to this Paula. My mum was just as dismissive. she didn't say I was imagining it but she did wonder why it was important to me. she has said several times (prior to my dx) that she just thought I was being dramatic etc...But then she will tell funny stories about how I used to lie on the floor for hours unpicking knots out of laces when I was little, how I would have to try any potential new shoes out on the pavement before buying them because I needed to know what sort of noise they would make when I was walking; I toe walked and had enormous tantrums even when I was a teenager etc etc etc (basically alot of the problems us parents see in our AS children
my mum relates about me). So just because someone has dismissed your concerns it doesn't make your concerns invalid. Also, and I could do with listening to this bit of advice myself, just because one person has dismissed your thoughts it doesn't mean that everyone will. By the sounds of it you have a very helpful GP.. and it may well be that you've been referred to CPN and psychiatrist because she has the very same susupicions you do. I think you've made the point yourself, it doesn't matter why you were referred (and don't forget you are fully entitled to see the referral letter), the fact is that you will be in the system and these concerns can be raised during your appointment.
flora XX
oh good im pleased that you think that. i definitely will ask when i see the cpn.. no harm in trying. since i realised why i feel sick and dizzy when walking down busy street.. or going to the supermarket.. my ''panic attacks'' are not as bad and i feel much more in control of them.
i was a difficult child too.. my mum tells me that when i was four i was always punching boys who were 9 and their parents would come round expecting the 'abuser' to be a similar aged boy. mum said that i used to play chicken with the buses at four and she could never get me on the toilet.. i would kick off. i know as a younger teenager i used to throw things at her and she eventually sent me to live with my dad..i went the other way and became very introvert.
i can remember copying sayings and phrases from tv and getting into soooo much trouble.
i was very very academic at school but had no friends..only those who used me to do their homework. i was rubbish at english but excelled at physics maths and computing get 8 'A' s without doing any revision. since leaving school my life has been a disaster.
the list is endless.. im sure you know what i mean... but you always know that something isnt right about yourself..instinctive.
many thanks paula
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Hiya - Any chance your hubbie can go with you when you see the CPN? - then he can ask the question to the CPN..and nobody then has any room to say you're being 'over-anxious' cos it's your hubbie thats asking the question. I know how you feel slightly - only cos that's how I sometimes feel I'm perceived re my son.If your hubby can't go with you how about just casually saying to the CPN 'my hubby asked me if I though it was possible that I has AS'? - 'What do you think? - that way you can test the water....and again it comes from 'someone else'.
I think it's great you have hubby's support
<'>i know what you mean about how professionals can perceive you as over anxious. for years i have never spoken about severe anxiety i have and especially not to anyone/ gp's /doctors etc whilst seeking dx for my son. i know how people can patronise you and reduce everything to your anxious state.. they never take you seriously.. so i kept very quiet.. maybe this is why the people who have been around me for last year have thought i was strong when inside im crumbling..
we move around alot because we are military so no-one really knows me well enough.
i know that if i could get an asessement for AS my mum would come with me.
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Hi Paula...Has your GP discussed with you the possibility of AS for yourself? Does he know you'd like to be reviewed on that basis rather than just help with the physical symptoms that arise?I'm guessing for your own peace of mind just knowing one way or another would also help with the anxiety symptoms.
I'm not familar with the diagnosis path for adults - hopefully one of the members who has already been down that route will be able to give you some better advice.
Good luck
<'>no i havent discussed with my gp about the possibility of me having AS. i did see her to get my son referred and she was the only one who really listened to me and consequently we have now a dx for my son.
i saw her last week and she wanted me to go on some pills to help me with anxiety but i havent collected them from the pharmacy.. another phobia aswell as the panic attacks..
i didnt really want to go into the AS thing because i have said it to one of my close friends and they think that im just imagining it because my son has been dx.
i dont want gp to think that too. i would rather get a referral for my panic attacks as a foot in the door than to be fobbed off and put on pills.
it is true that i never thought of AS until CAMHS said it was possible for my son. i had no real idea of what AS was. then my hubbie and i began looking into it and it was like a light being switched on. all these things about me, that are present now and the things that i used to do frequently when younger are so clear now..now i understand....my hubbie thinks i could have AS
the way i see it with my friend is that i have only known her for about a year and she doesnt really know me intimately.. for example when she gives me hugs and lots of eye contact it makes me feel queasy.. but of course i know not to tell her that.. i just make and excuse to leave as fast as possible...
just really wondered i should say anything to the CPN when i see them...
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hi all,
i have been to see my gp again today who has said she is referring me to CPN's -psych nurses i think.. and then if necessary they can refer me on to a psychatrist.
this is primarily for my severe anxiety.. which i have had since about 19.. am now 32.. and at times it controls my life.
i wanted to know really is this a step in the right direction to get assessed for AS? my son has been recently dx and he is a carbon copy of me so i would like to know. i think i would especially like to know because sometimes i think that my anxieties are not panic attacks as doctors have led me to believe.. but rather sensory overload..
i appreciate anyone's advice..thanks paula.
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ok the link doesnt work. i will try and pm you a picture..as you can see im not very technical..
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Hi Paula, I've had a look at the website but can't find the pj's. Did you seem them on there and have you got a link?Shona
http://www.next.co.uk/shot.asp?b=G43&p=442&s=5&n=Children's&pid=373-770-G43&extra=sch&exclude=00S00&ref=http%3a%2f%2fsearch%2enext%2eco%2euk%2fsearch%3fp%3dQ%26ts%3dv2%26w%3dpyjamas%20girls%26srid%3dS5%2d7%26lbc%3dnext%26af%3d%26cnt%3d%26images%3don%26srt%3d24%26isort%3dscore%26method%3dand%26format%3d%26nb%3d%26np%3d
im not sure how to post links so dont know if this will work. they are listed in the nightwear section for girls 3-16 years. they are called 3 piece lounge set...as it is in the nightwear bit i take this to mean pj's.. hope this helps
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Hopefully dd is going through a phase but she is really worrying me as what she is doing is a more extreme version of ds.As soon as you take your eyes off her for even a few minutes she is taking something apart or destroying something. I have just been trying to clean paint off a carpet, a couple of days ago she poured water all over the bathroom.
She has always pulled things out of cupboards and is constantly on the go. She doesn't sit still, climbs on anything and everything. Nursery laugh it off as being just her, she has put herself into the toy washing machine, dangled on coatpegs, walked along raidiators and is the only 2 year old to attempt the firemans pole on their outside play equipment.
I have till now put it down to being the youngest and having a very active brother but now I am becoming worried. We were out at the weekend with other families who had girls the same age and she was so much more on the go, squirmy and impulsive.
In some ways she is very different to her brother as she has a huge vocabulary and an amazing imagination but the ways in which they are similar scare me. I don't think she has ASD but I am a bit worried about the ADHD side of things as she is displaying the behaviour in more than one setting.
Between the two of them I am worn to a frazzle!!
Any words of advice gratefully received!!
could you speak to your health visitor or gp..?
Carrie
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forgot to day that they also have a a website and you can zoom to get a better look.
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next do an organic range for children... some are plain. they also have a pair of pj's that are velour and chocolate brown..
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today my kids went to school with asperger awareness badges on their reading folders.
after school the headteacher pull me up and said that they were not allowed badges in school. i said to her that they were on their readng bags so doing no harm. she said it was ok to have on reading folder.
she said that they were on their jumpers and i said ..oh thanks for letting me know.. they must have changed them..
when my kids came out of school the badges were still on the folders and they both sadi they had not had them on their jumpers at all.. they had not touched them.
so the headteacher had pulled me up for nothing...she was mistaken once again...
was going to go back into school and speak with her but decided it wasnt worth the effort.
again while she was speaking to me.. she was trying to reductionise my sons difficulties and said that the medication he was on is making him tired in the day and he cant concentrate...
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Hi I read the NAS COMMUNICATIONS magazine and a boy in there had a condition called pica have you heard of this, though it is more a eating non eatable foods.JsMum
pica in its most common form is cravings that pregnant women have when things they eat are not edible.. like craving coal..
incomplete school records
in Education
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ok time for a rant me thinks...that &*%$* school and all of it staff....
a month ago i wrote for copies of all mu ds school records. last week receptionist said there were 44 pages and i would have to pay �4.40. but on the day she told me to collect them they werent ready and her excuse is that she wanted to make sure that everything was there. ok i say. yesterday she rang me to pick them up today... cost now �8.10 as there are 81 pages.
get home ..open.. everything is duplicated.. 3 copies of this.. 4 copies of that.. and only things from his last school year, yr 3 ( he is in year 4 now)..
a piece of paper says that parent has not given school records from his previous school !!!!! i am gobsmacked. we are military and hence move around. when we got posted from germany to here the school ( army school) gave me files for both my children which were both handed in the day they started that school...and now they are saying 18months later that they dont have his reocrds and its my fault.
plus to top that off.. in the reocords from last year they have recorded that i am an aggressive parent who is directing it at both my ds and the teaching staff and they had to remind me not to be 'negative' in front of my ds.!
i have a meeting set up for monday at 2pm and army education lady is coming with me to put my case forward..but they have asked her to attend at 1.30pm when there will be all the ''professionals'' sat discussing my ds before i arrive. the lady has told me that she will attentd at this time but will informa them that she is not happy about discussing my ds without my presence and that she will be informing me of what is said during this half hour
i am at the point of giving up with this school.. especially in light of what they have said about me..hopefully we will get posted soon and the next school might be more co-operative.
thank you for allowing me to vent my frustration