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witsend

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Posts posted by witsend

  1. Posted · Report reply

    Hi rainbow - I can identify with this one all too well. I've started to dread weekends my two boys (13 and 5) just argue ALL the time and it drives me crazy!! :wallbash: It's impossible to referee their arguments all the time and often impossible to work out whos in the right or the wrong. :tearful: I tend to blame DS1 a lot of the time becasue he's the eldest BUT Ds2 can be really infuriating and sneaky despite his tender years, I find him hard to cope with a lot of the time so it's now wonder Ds1 can't cope.

    DS1 doesn't like leaving the house much at all plus he has differant interests being older so we can never go anywhere all together and I don't like to leave him him on his own for longer than an hour really :tearful: . DS2 is very hyperactive and like you said needs a good run around outside to calm him down most of the time.

    Neither one of them can leave me alone for more than a few minutes it seems, me time is an unknown concept in this household! :wacko:

    Today I took them to town together and had to come home within the hour, they both got what they wanted and all I wanted was to get a T-shirt to go under a suit for an important job interview next week but there was no way I could do it, just felt rushed and harried and couldn't concentrate at all. :crying:

    So I really do know how you feel >:D<<'> . When they are in bed I often think right I'll do this and this with them next weekend but somehow it never works out and we plunge headlong into another weekend from hell!!

    Sorry I'm not much help - don't know what the answer is - but am probs one of the few people quite eager to get back to work on a Monday morning! :rolleyes:

    Luv Witsend.

  2. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Mel - don't beat yourself up about this it isn't YOU who's stopping him from going it's him who doesn't want to go and even if everyone else agrees it would be great for him etc etc if he doesn't think so then that's that really. You can't drag him there and the more you go on about it the more he may stress about it.

    My son has been on a few outdoor residential trips in the past and (to my surprise) loved them, but it was him who wanted to go if he hadn't then I wouldn't have made him. Next month his school are going ski-ing in France and he doesn't want to go 'cos he scared of flying, I did try and persuade him a bit at first becasue all the other kids are going and I think the school were a bit fed up he wasn't joining in :unsure: but I soon realised it was wrong to try and force him into a situation he wasn't comfortable with, I thought he may regret his desicion when it got nearer the time but he hasn't one bit.

    Jays got years ahead of him to do this sort of stuff and do it he will if and when the time is right. Let him know it's OK if he doesn't want to go and tell the school you have made a desicion so they can stop "working on him" now!

    You never know when the pressures off he may change his mind :devil: but if not then there will always be a next time.

    Take care - Luv Witsend.

  3. Posted · Report reply

    Yeah thanks Karen and Sue, I agree the school should be dealing with it, reflecting on it I think maybe she wanted to speak to me 'cos we (as mums) did get on when we met last summer and she maybe thought I could help and I guess you can't blame her for that, she is only trying to do the best by her son after all. But I don't think I want to discuss it any further with her, there's nothing I can do about the other boys involved and I've already had to make my son promise he won't mention the phone call at school so this boy doesn't get any more stick from anyone. :wacko:

    Sue there's no way my son would agree to being freinds with this lad, they just don't get on, I think his mum invited my son over when he first started at the school becasue this lad doesn't have any freinds and my son had been nice to him so she hoped they would be freinds. Fortunately he lives an hour away from us so they don't have to see each other out of school, I just don't want my son to be involved in picking on this lad to stay in with the in crowd IYSWIM. :unsure:

    Have just spoken to son about it now and am hoping what I've said has gone in. Honestly who'd be a teenager again?? :wallbash:

    Luv Witsend.

  4. Posted · Edited by witsend · Report reply

    Right - I've been very brave and made the call!!

    Basically the other mum was saying her son is having a hard time at school and some of the older boys are bullying him (my son is same age as hers) and becasue my son is freinds with one of these lads he has been 'joining in' at times being nasty to her son too.

    I told her I'm sorry this is happening and that I would speak to my son again about it all, I did tell her that according to my son her son is being very irritating to the others a lot of the time and says some pretty nasty stuff himself too.

    She seemed to accept this to an extent and it seems my son isn't the main offender in it all so she was also asking me for names of other kids who might be being horrible to her son :unsure: but as I don't know any of these kids I couldn't help her much.

    I asked her if the school could help sort it out but she insists they are turning a blind eye to it and not dealing with it properly. To be honest I do feel very sorry for her because it does sound like her son is unhappy, but I do get the impression her son stirs up a lot of the trouble himself in the way he is with other kids but I don't think she realises this, also she pointed out that she is paying good money for her son to go to the school and she expects better, she is shocked that the boys sometimes swear at each other!! :unsure: (They are teenagers).

    So wasn't sure what else to say really, I think I was nice enough, but felt a bit uncomfotable being asked for names of other boys etc.

    Also she said her son would like to be freinds with my son :blink: had to tell her I didn't think my son felt the same - felt awful having to do that but I know it's true.

    Anyway I'm glad I got it over with, am going to talk to son again over the weekend to try and make sure he is not joining in with any nastiness towards this boy, don't know what else I can do. KIDS!!! :wallbash:

    Luv Witsend.

  6. Posted · Report reply

    Hi - just got in earlier to find a phone message from school saying one of the other boys mums wants me to ring her. They didn't say what it's about but have got a sinking feeling it won't be good. :unsure:

    This boy is in DS1's class, last summer he invited my son for a sleepover (DS1 did not really enjoy it) but I asked this boy back for a sleepover here to return the favour - anyway both boys didn't really get on and my son was glad when he went home again. Since then my son doesn't 'play' with this lad at school anymore, he says he is weird ( :rolleyes: ) and no one like him etc etc.........I have told my son a few times even if he doesn't like this boy he must not be mean to him etc etc and he says he isn't but this other boy is always making up stuff to get my son and some of the others into trouble!

    Obviously with the school being so far away I feel like I don't know what's going on most of the time! :unsure:

    Having met the other boy I am guessing he has ASD type stuff going on too, his speech is unusually precise, he had an odd way with him and wouldn't eat anything but chicken burgers!! :lol: Sorry there's obviously more to it than that - but it was the impression I got. His mum did seem very nice when I met her, she didn't mention anything about ASD but then neither did I. I did tell her they hadn't got on too well at times when he was here but I did kind of gloss over it a bit 'cos I didn't want to upset her or anything.

    So now I'm sat here wondering and worrying about why she wants me to ring her - I have rung but she's not in at the mo, I left a msg saying I'd ring back but didn't leave my phone number :ph34r: !

    Thing is I've experianced this direct 'lets sort it out between ourselves' approach from other parents before and whilst it sounds like a good idea in theory I'm wary about it because it can so quickly turn into a pretty persoanl attack. Obviously I'm assuming she's going to say DS1 and her son are not getting on and it's all DS1's fault! I may be wrong - but I bet I'm not!!

    Don't know now what to do, whether to ring her back later or not, I know I probably should but I'm feeling quite cowardly today! :tearful:

    Any thoughts ideas appreciated........

    Luv Witsend.

  8. Posted · Report reply

    Hi - while we're on the subject, does anyone know if when you're reapplying you have to give names of professionals etc to 'back you up' like you do when you first apply? When I first applied son was seeing SALT, Cons paed, OT and Physio etc etc, but now he doesn't see anyone. :unsure:

    Cheers - Luv Witsend.

  9. Posted · Report reply

    What is it with socks??!! :lol: Ds 1 used to have a "sock den" (his phrase) where he used to just hide all the socks he'd worn when he took them off at night. He would never tell me wherre it was so I had to hunt around his room 'til I discovered it! :lol: He did find some pretty ingenious places!

    He seems to have passed through that phase now but every now and again I find an odd sock in an odd place and laugh realising it was an embryonic sock den! :lol:

    Ds2 often takes one sock off and loses the other one - that drives me nuts!! :wallbash:

    And personally I prefer to go barefooted wherever possible, and as for slippers :sick: can't stand them anywhere near me!

    Oh well we're all different eh? :lol:

    Luv Witsend.

  10. Posted · Report reply

    Thanks guys - the dog is still wonderful he's such a calm and freindly soul we love him to bits. :wub:

    Hev - the dog was already called Charlie but son has changed ot to Marley (as in Bob) becasue he's so chilled out! :lol:

    Js mum - I remember feeling exactly the same about my son a when he was 11, they really do change a lot in a couple of years - it's amazing.

    Off to cuddle Marley again now :rolleyes:

    Luv Witsend.

  11. Posted · Report reply

    Hi - well Ds1 was 13 yesterday (Wow - how did that happen!?) and he had a really great day. He took a big cake into school and everyone enjoyed it, and the whole class was let off homework for the night because it was his birthday :thumbs: which really pleased him. I bought him (after much pester power) a dog (5yr old lurcher from dog rescue) and he is lovely really soft and freindly and luckily took to son straight away and follows him around and slept in his room - which is all son dreamed of! :thumbs:

    My sister bought him a fish bubble lamp which he adores and in the evening we had pizza and watched a DVD (his choice - south park - awful - but he loved it) and that was that! Nothing tooo exciting but actually the best calmest birthday I can remember him having.

    When I think back to the years of parties etc which were too much for him and ended in tears I'm just so glad those days are gone.

    Right just wanted to share that - off to cuddle the dog while I get chance before son gets home :lol: .

    Luv Witsend.

  12. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Hev - you have done the right thing, for Steve and for you and your family. Guilt is an inbuilt part of being a Mother sort of comes with the job! :rolleyes: I think in your position I'd have moments of feeling the same, but then I can always find something to feel guilty about anyway. It's all still quite early days and a bit further down the line when your more used to how things are now and hopefully working out you will feel better. >:D<<'>

    Actually you should be proud that you have fought for your son and kept your family togther through some mega stressfull times. :thumbs:

    Take care - Luv Witsend.

  14. Posted · Report reply

    Rainbow queen - >:D<<'> - I can understand why your upset. I wouldn't worry about them wasting their cash 'cos they are grown ups and have made that decision themselves, I would be a bit upset that the pressie is likely to cause problems re your son not being able to use it and getting upset frustrated etc :tearful: . My son was 8 before he learnt to ride a bike and we had many meltdowns and avoidance for a long time but now he loves it and I'm glad we perservered.

    So maybe it is worth just giving the scooter a go, or just putting it aside until he wants to have ago again. When he opens it on Xmas day I'd not make a big fuss of it just leave it to one side and see what happens. :ph34r:

    Good Luck with it

    Luv Witsend.

  16. Posted · Report reply

    Glad you survived the weekend. >:D<<'> to you I totally know where you're coming from on this one and it can make you feel really isolated and trapped. We used to have similar problems - still do to an extent but DS1 now old enought to be left for an hour on his own, still difficult though as that doesn't give you much time to go anywhere and I'm awlays constantly worrying about getting back.

    My saving grace these days is when DS1 goes on scout/cadet camps for a night or two, even though I have the little one at home I feel a sense of freedom, but I know your son is still a little un, so I do feel for you, hang in there, it will get a bit easier in time :pray:

    Luv Witsend.

  21. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Sarah, I think it does vary from area to area and from doctor to doctor. I wouldn't expect anything too definitive, he they will probs just ask you a lot of questions about your son from birth to present day. Stuff like developmental milestones what age he reached them etc, and stuff about behaviour, sleep pattern, social skills, diet, physical capabilities etc. They may go through a questionairre with you if they are suspecting a particular diagnosis or give you one to take away and fill in. They will probs want to know what other people (school etc) think of your son (sorry don't know what age he is or anything) and what worries you have.

    It might help to make notes before you go, it's easy to forget stuff when your there. And it may be the first in a long line of appointments and feel a bit of an anti climax - but again sorry don't know your circumstances. :rolleyes:

    Good Luck

    Luv Witsend.

  22. Posted · Report reply

    Hi - I may be the last person to have discovered these (flashing toothbrushes) but if not just wanted to recommend them.

    My eldest son hates cleaning his teeth has to be nagged constantly about it and even then does it for a few seconds only - have been worried bout it for a while. Last time I ws in ASDA with the little one he spied this toobrush that flashes for a full minute and wanted it so I bought it and althought the novelty has worn off with little one it's been great for DS1. :thumbs:

    He doesn't actually use the brush cos it's for younger kids (and it belongs to his brother! :lol: ) but he presses the button and brushes his teeth diligently for the full exact minute til the flashing stops, it has really appealed to him. just thought may be useful for others out there. Happy Brushing!!

    Luv Witsend.

  23. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Kara - welcome to the forum. It sounds like you are doing all you can trying to help your son in the nightmare situation you've found yourselves in. Your certainly not alone - many of us on the forum have had terrible times with schooling and still are. This forum is a great place for info advice and for letting off steam. :thumbs:

    Lots of folk have already given good advice - hang in there. Have to say I got a lump in my throat reading your post especially about the Xmas party :crying: your poor boy, I think that it's just nastiness the school stopping a child attending a Xmas party it actually makes me feel :sick: and I really don't know how these people sleep at night :wallbash: .

    Keep us updated you'll find loads of support here.

    Luv Witsend.

  25. Posted · Report reply

    Hi Jenrose, sorry don't know if you are working or not but if you are the tax credits will certainly pay for 70% of your child care costs, you will also get more from them for being a lone parent. I know when I split from ex husband I was really worried about the financial situation but I actually didn't end up any worse off at all (and both of us were working at the time). So I'm sure the help will be there. It's often just knowing where to look.

    Glad things are going OK for now, take care

    Luv Witsend.

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