call me jaded

I was writing a lengthy reply yesterday but fell asleep from sheer exhaustion in the middle of it! The short reply is that we found the anticipation of booking DS into something like Activenture for a week once a year is enough to keep me going for the rest of the year. No referral from SS needed, you get to decide when and although we saved up DLA to pay for it originally DPs now do the job. Even going on holiday was 24 hour care in a home from home environment. We were lucky to find a couple of babysitters from the holiday apartments at the top of the road where we went for icecream everyday and had a night out on the last night. Apart from that it was really the same old same old except going to the beach instead of the park every day. We made a decision long ago to try and do normal things as much as possible. Sometimes to do that the effort is enormous but my fear is that we would be completely housebound very swiftly if DS's overwhelming preferences were accommodated and I don't think that would be healthy for me. With holidays we did caravans for years - Haven is fantastic for disability awareness. I would just encourage you to give it a go. I'm sure there's plenty of bargains around. If you qualify for Family Fund they give vouchers for Haven (and Thomas Cook). Again no SS referral needed for FF. Don't be fearful of asking SS for help. They will be amazed that you have coped so far. I took NAS advice to get them involved before transferring to adult services. TBH they haven't made an enormous difference - a couple of hours out is beneficial to my son but barely touches my needs. My own personnal de-stress is to talk about the difficulties with other parents at our parents group and that's how I retain sanity. Not for everyone I grant you. DH doesn't get that at all. He immerses himself in work - barely seen him since we got back, lol.

It's quite a nice boat trip from Greenwich. Once did from Greenwich via the Thames Barrier to Kew (two boats, change at Charing X Pier) when DS was tiny. Thought we were going to lose him over the side. It took hours.

Well... Quite an extraordinary evening on Saturday, bumped into someone we know from London and ended up doing karaoke with three of the Nolan sisters, who all have their own places just down the road from where we were and where the X Factor house was trashed. Claassss. DS was a star on the flight home and we had valet parking so were out of the airport within an hour of landing. Now back to reality with a bump.

awwww how disappointing. Just you hang on to that dream 'cos you never know when or how it might happen. And keep doing the lottery, obviously.

a slug of vodka might be preferable to the outgoing! Malaga-more upmarket than Disney dahling! Off to watch Engerland in a bar full of russian bankers - I kid you not

I'm on me hols, not back til Sunday, but must be bored as I've worked out how to do t'internet on my phone. Hope you've been on your best behaviour. I'm dreading our flight back as we had to use a harness restrain on the way out and I still got ripped to shreds. So lots of positive vibes needed. Apart from that he's been a star in so mant ways. It has been a real pleasure. Mind you, need to educate the airports about their support for people with learning disability - sitting in a wheelchair in a slow track queue isn't exactly what we'd envisaged.

Hi Ajay and welcome. Just to say that on our part of the spectrum additional tests are still ongoing at 16 years and this is not uncommon for children with SLD - especially if you have a geneticist who is taking an interest. The testing is becoming more sophisticated but still everything is within normal tolerances. I used to find it very unsettling too but this changed when I realised that whatever was found would not actually affect what we were doing in any significant way. You do have to get all the big tests out of the way first though and going into those results consultations is extremely tough. Hang on and you'll get there.

Professor Carl Heneghan raises doubts about the large number of false positives this research could throw up. Here.

You have to register (very simple) and you get to vote. Plenty comes up when you search on 'autism' and it's very therapeutic. Click here.

Hello Claire and welcome.

Yesterday my children had this conversation - DD1: You're cool, mum. S do you think she's cool? DS2: Yep DD1: What about you J? DD2: Yeh very cool DD1: ... for a parent DS2 DD2: Yeh for a parent. I think that's as cool as I'll ever get, lol.

I wuld expect Occ Health to work in confidence and not disclose anything without your permission. We had an anonymous counselling service at one employer I worked for.

That's quite a rollercoaster you're on SuzyQ. Hope you find some answers and a path towards both your next stages of life soon.

Just to put another perspective: education is entirely labels-led, so so unless you do receive the (a) label support won't be forthcoming.

Is your employer big enough to have an Occupational Health dept? Sometimes you can access 'preventative' therapy through that especially if your job is contributing to your stress.

Welcome Karen. No need to be nervous! Isn't there a 'Surrey cluster' - that is higher than average diagnosis rates in Surrey?

Yes, welcome from me too.

Useful for when we all get spammed I suppose

I really recommend that you get on the email discussion list for NAS Surrey Branch as they often discuss these very issues and have the local knowledge you need. I'm over the river from Surrey and also going on a plane next week and know it's going to be a challenge. ETA: Two local groups are Three Wings Trust and Me Too & Co. Three Wings are definitely doing summer activities. Not so familiar with Me Too, although I've met Anne-Marie who runs it a few times.

The Ed Psych or the SLT can refer you on. I would see which one you can get hold of to see whether they think it's worth doing. Where I live you can self-refer to CAMHS too, but I would definitely talk to at least one of the professionals first.

Well we have our Atos medical the day after we get back, almost at the same time as my daughter starts high school and he then goes on to start college the same day. Although I would give anything for him to be deemed fit for work I've read the new proposed criteria and we ain't going to be worried by the prospect any time soon.

At Easter, thanks to friends and family, we all went for a break without our darling son as he was back in school whilst the others were still off. One week was extended to two, due to volcanic ash. It was an amazing break, very restful and active at the same time, which has set me up for the rest of the year. We're in the middle of getting ready to go away again. DS has brought a suitcase down, 'packed*', and made me put the suitcase in the car. Twice. I have told him he is definitely coming with us this time. He keeps laughing and 'chucking' suitcases at me, telling me to get on with it. * Put a talking NokTok toy (his guilty pleasure) in the case.

Hi Julie. Welcome to the forum

There's a green plus button and a red minus button on the bottom right of each post, but it's not activated.

This all sounds very positive. TBH it dosen't sound as if you need to rush into a diagnosis for yourself but hopefully your GP will do the necessary for Ben. Welcome to the forum!