My Other Dilemmas

[Anastassia Florinevna]

Okay, so me and my parents are living in a tiny little room (about 11' by 9') in someone's house (where we have to share a less-than-clean kitchen and bathroom) and my parents both work for practically nothing; it covers food, gas, rent of the tiny room, and nothing else. I do not want to get a job, as there is no point; welfare pays more. But my mother does not want me to go on wlfare because it would damage my chances of ever being able to buy a house in the future or something. I don't want to get a job for now because what's the point when I'll have a job when I join the armed forces? There's no way I would be able to research this because it would probably take years to find an answer. I ask again if there are any Canadians here who know. If I went on disability, I'd get plenty, and be able to get an apartment and have a lot left over, but that might damage my ability to get into the armed forces if they do that kind of background check (I don't know exactly what background checks they do). Right now I'm waiting to get material for a correspondence course for my last credit in high school, so that I can get my diploma, but we need $75 to go get it, and we don't have that, so we'll have to wait a week or two. My father drank a bit last night and made me feel guilty for not having a job and not finishing that last credit in school, but the workload in grade 12 was too much for me with 2 major subjects and 1 easier one, and then one other option that gave more work than the other 3 put together, and I had to drop it because it was stressing me out. At times I think that someone will ask, "Why do you want to join the military if you get easily stressed?" The answer: to get rid of stress, to blow off steam. It seems like a simpler life, with no research or papers to complete or anything. It's a different kind of stress, a kind of good stress I had when I was near a school shooting and the killer was rumored to be walking the streets around me. I've never felt that neurotypical PTSD due to physical threats... well I may have, but I enjoyed it in a weird way; it wasn't depressing because I knew what I had to do. I loved reminiscing about it later; I was still excited from when it happened. The thing is, I got PTSD from normal things, like embarrassing moments, and walking the streets near where some of my old schoolmates live. I wonder if people will consider me weird for being so disaster-happy. Is anyone else here disaster-happy like me?

 

 

I'm so scared no one will reply to this because it's incoherent or weird or something!

Edited October 2, 2006 by Anastassia Florinevna

[Jericho]

It's not incoherent or weird.

 

I wish I could give you some advice but I know very little about the military in this country (England) never mind the Canadian military. Could you send off for an information pack about entry requirements? Is there a helpline you could call (perhaps anonymously) asking whether claiming for disability would affect your application?

[Tally]

If you are able to work, it would look good to have a work history, and they can provide you with a reference. Any gaps in your CV will raise questions, and if you answer that you did not work because you chose not to, it looks bad.

 

If you really are unable to work, then you should claim disability benefits. If you are receiving benefits than it shows that you are genuinely unable to work, rather than choosing not to.

 

If you are unable to work due to disability or illness, you are unlikely to be well enough to work for the military either.

[florrie]

I don't think your stuff is weird at all, I relate to a lot of things you say, i don't get stressed by things others do and do get stressed by normal things that others don't like a knock at the door or the phone ringing,i sometimes feel afraid of trying to explain what I feel in case others find it weird, I have asd dx at 40 by my own choice now I regret it due to others ( mainly the medical profession ie they think asds should be put in prison)predjudices which have made things worse for me.

 

I also know what you mean by wiping the slate clean, I've reinvented myself several times in my life and it helped at the time, before I knew I had asd, now that seems to have become my identity and I'm not sure I like it, although i do find it impossible to cope and work as all those changes and communication make me feel mentally ill, but that isn't understood or recognised and I feel i have a lot of pressure on me to conform normally, I don't exhibit asd in stereotypical way which isjust as problematic as no one recognises there are difficulties

 

I hope you find agreeable solutions to your dillemas

Edited October 4, 2006 by florrie