seeking info for myself

[keepingmesane]

i have always known i am very different to anyone i have ever met but have tried my best to 'conform' and be 'normal'

in the last couple of months i have had a sort of clarity that i want to understand why i am the way i am and some things are similar to what i have seen in my son (dx asd) and the brief bits of information i have read

 

i would like to see someone to try and analyse me but dont know who i would see, is a counsellor or a psychologist better? whats the difference?

ive been told the waiting list is massive and runs into the years befire i will get seen so im willing to go the private route to try and fathom things out fairly quickly

my marriage is breaking down as i simply cant cope with the physical side at all (there are loads of issues but this is the main one)

 

are there any books out there that would be worth a read for me? all the ones i have seen seem to be about aspergers rather than asd

 

 

any thoughts would be welcome

[jb1964]

Hi,

 

So sorry that things seem to be falling apart for you at the moment. Haven't got any idea on the private route etc.

 

Although as for the reading stuff - my daughter was diagnosed last year (aged 12yrs) with ASD - Aspergers best fitting her difficulties (because she's high functioning - yet her social/communication/understanding and sensory issues are major problems). I've been reading anything I can get my hands on and to be honest from what I've read everything links into the same thing really.

 

Hope you get some good advice soon.

Take care and good luck,

Jb

[Tally]

A psychologist can diagnose Autism. You would need a referral from your GP to see a psychologist on the NHS. If you can show that you are suffering emotional problems that cannot be treated without the understanding that you are on the autistic spectrum, you may get seen sooner. If you can afford to be assessed privately, this would be a quicker option. The National Autistic Society may be able to help you persuede your GP that you need a diagnosis on the NHS, or at least give you a list of names of local diagnostiticians.

 

Not everyone feels the need for an official diagnosis in order to become comfortable with how they are. It's not just you that needs to understand it though, it's your husband also. Would having an official label actually help you both to understand what makes you different from each other, and to find effective wasy around those differences? Receiving a diagnosis quickly does not necessarily mean that both you and your husband will come to terms with it any quicker.

 

Pretending to Be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey is an autibiography of a woman who recognised she had Asperger's after her daughter was diagnosed with the condition.

 

There are other autobiographies by people with autism, such as Temple Grandin, Wendy Lawson and Donna WIlliams, which you may recognise parts of yourself in . . . Then again, you may not.

 

the Triad of Perspectives on Autism and Asperger Syndrome by Olga Bogdashina is an extremely good overview of autism from the perspectives of the professional in the field of autism, the autistic person, and the parent of an autistic child. I am only half way through it at the moment, but the first half is extremely clear and detailed.

 

Asperger Syndrome and Long Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford is written by a woman whose husband receives the diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome after they married. If you suspect you are on the Spectrum, it might help your husband understand you a bit better, but it's also one of the few books I've seen about how Asperger's can present in adults who have developed certain coping skills.

[keepingmesane]

thanks for the responses and many thanks tally for the book list, have just ordered them

 

its actually me who is ending the marriage as i just cant pretend anymore and find things too difficult, i have tried to be 'normal' for so long that it has just majorly depressed me and from the day i came clean with my husband i have felt so much better.

we are still good friends and still live together but basically i now need and want to understand myself better and come up with ways to cope that dont mean my wellbeing suffers from it

im not actually after the actual dx, i just want to talk to someone and find out how i can adapt

 

thanks again

[Tally]

OK, I misunderstood your situation slightly. It sounds like you've got things pretty much worked out, which is a very positive step.

 

If you're looking for coping strategies, a counsellor would probably be the most helpful. You'll get the best help from one who understands ASDs, but even one who doesn't should be able to help you develop skills for the situations that you struggle with.

 

You might find your GP can refer you pretty quickly if your main issues are depression and/or social anxiety - and you can get into more detail about your actual issues with the counsellor. On the NHS you might get referred to a Community Psychiatric Nurse or a Mental Health Social Worker. They are trained in counselling, and can refer you on to the most suitable treatment if they need to. It's always worth trying to get effective treatment for free before deciding to pay for it, and you can't lose anything by doing it.

[Kathryn]

Hi keepingmesane,

 

I agree with Tally that if you can get a competent service without having to pay for it, so much the better, so you would have to find out via your GP what's available in your area.

 

Re psychologists and counsellors - it may be easier and quicker to get to see a counsellor but -

 

Counsellors vary, there are good ones and bad ones, and there will be some who don't have much understanding of AS. Anybody can set up and advertise themselves as a "counsellor", sometimes with just a few weeks' training and without being accountable to any professional body. So quality can be variable and you take pot luck. Clinical Psychologists, on the other hand, are more rigorously and comprehensively trained and vetted and have to follow a strict code of ethics. They should also be able to give you a clear understanding of the techniques they are using and the underlying principles. To check whether a psych is bona fide you can look them up in the Directory of Chartered Psychologists. You can also use the search facility to look for a psychologist in your area specialising in AS. Obviously not all psychologists are infallible, but the safeguards mean that you can at least expect a minimal level of competence.

 

Like any therapeutic relationship though, personality plays a big part. It doesn't matter how many qualifications the therapist/counsellor has if you just don't get on with them.

 

Good luck, I hope you find the right kind of help for you,

 

K x