Is your partner on the autistic spectrum?

[Karen A]

Hello Welcome to the Forum jon.Karen.

[jon79]

Hi Jon, and welcome.

 

It's very difficult to find a relationship when you struggle with the steps you need to even make friends.

 

I think what you need to do is get out and meet people generally. I know that's not as easy as I make it sound, because I am struggling with the same thing myself. I have been looking for a social group for people with AS/autism, or learning difficulties or just disabilities in general. Just going out and meeting people socially will be a big thing for me, but I think it's the right place to start. You could also look into interest groups, a club or class where you will meet people who have an interest in common.

 

If someone doesn't like you because you are not "normal," they are probably not a person you could have a successful relationship with anyway.

 

People don't build relationships on the fact that the other person is normal. Looks and confidence can be the initial attraction, but there is so much more to it than that.

 

 

i try and went to some social outings on occassion with work, but i dont seem to achieve much. At club/pub/party i dont drink alcohol so have some water. I end up sitting and more usually standing in own bubble again outside of the people i cant get in. i can manage to muster up 2 or 3 words but seems unresponssive. The crowd density of people is so great i have to kinda shut down, and the noise volume of music and people conversations from so many directions makes head fuzzy, takes great concentration of the muslces and limbs to remain standing or seated properly, or else will flop. The special lighting doesnt seem to agree with me either.i feel if was to spend too long in there would be forced to lye down in corner I would achieve same end result as standing in telephone booth for 4 hours. i dont have that something to be able to let go and move to dance when others are. i would really like to be able to move uninhibtley like all the other people, they get all the connections bonds with other people

 

i go to gym 4 or 5 day a week at nights for many year but still remain outside. do my training regime for 1hr an half or so then home to wash and feed. i have have added some other activities like spinning and pilates in hope might be more social but still same mentality as gym, cut off. i just cant seem to improve my level to verbally speak and correspond with some one. i can recite and prounce just about any word i see written down, but when come to open free reign freestyle choice of what to say for myself there is no set of words there to pull out ffrom head/heart to speak out. if there is something there it is 2 or 3 words.system is too rigid and not flexible i tire and despair sometimes of continuing like this is no point i wish i could be proper and full

Edited February 7, 2008 by jon79