Selective mutism

[Flora]

Since Bill started secondary school he seemed to become very calm (those of you who remember will recall he was the opposite last term of primary; ie very stressy and having loud prolonged melt downs culminating in him being signed off sick until he started secondary in September). The secondary he's at have supported him quite well in regards of being chaperoned. He's on a half day timetable and has a TA with him for most of the time he's there.

 

Over the past few weeks I've noticed that he's very very quiet and often doesn't respond when someone talks to him. The past week he's gone nearly the whole week without speaking at all, and I kept him off school thinking he appeared unwell.

 

It just so happened that he had a scheduled appointment with the child and adolescent psych at CAMHS today, and the psych reckons he is displaying selecitve mutism. He didn't speak to her at all, and hadn't spoke to anyone since last night. Prior to last night he didn't speak to anyone at all from Monday.

 

She wants me to just leave him be to 'do his own thing' over the christmas hols, and see how he is when school starts again. She is going to request a multi-disciplinary meeting at the end of the the winter term (around April) and suggest that a stat assessment be carried out.

 

I'm really worried about him. Usually when he's upset he had gone quiet but then that's followed up by a melt down. There have been no melt downs but the lack of communication has intensified.

 

I know there are a few of you guys on here that have experienced selective mutism with their own kids and wondered what sort of strategies you used to cope.

 

 

Flora X

[Suze]

<'> , hun , sorry about Bill.Perhaps it,s his way of coping, with school, christmas, growing up etc .Have you tried having a delve into some books written by autists, I think Temple Grandin went through such a stage, you may glean some clues to why he,s not speaking from them.Will he engage with you in other ways?...........a cuddle touch, or does he appear to have shut down with these too?It could be a huge sensory overload and hibernation is his way of handling it.Take care matey Suzex

[oxgirl]

Sorry to hear about Bill, Flora. How is he getting on with the other children at school, is he making friends? Just one thought I had, and I could be totally and utterly wrong, but my J has quite a distinctive little Aspie voice and, since going to secondary school, he has had some trouble with some kids mimicking and ridiculing his voice, which has really wound him up. He hasn't gotten a complex about it yet because he doesn't realize yet that his voice makes him stand out, but if the teasing does go on, I could see that he might react by not wanting to use his voice. Just a thought.

 

Hope Bill relaxes over the hols and you all have a good one. Take care. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[Kathryn]

Hi Flora,

 

As you probably know if you've been following my posts over the years I've been here, L has had periods of being completely mute: several weeks at the beginning of last year, and a similar period earlier this year. Athough she is going through a fairly articulate phase right now, there are days or times during the day when she finds it difficult or impossible to speak and will either communicate in monosyllables or not at all. I still don't really know what triggered these long episodes or why her speech returned, and I'm still baffled by it daily. But I've learned (I think!) not to panic too much when it happens or to try and force her to speak. I think selective multism implies there is a decision not to speak. I don't think in L's case this is true, after observing her carefully. I don't think it is under her conscious control at all. I think the longer periods of mutism have occured when she's facing a big challenge, eg the prospect of change and it's as though in order to cope with it, another function, language, has to be shut down temporarily. That's just my theory!

 

The FE college she's at college has given her an alphasmart which she can carry around with her - it's a fairly lightweight keyboard with a dispay showing about four lines of text (lighter than a laptop and simpler to use). She takes it everywhere with her and uses it when speaking is too much of an effort. She's a very fast typist! I think knowing that it's there takes the pressure off her and makes her less anxious about talking. At home she rarely uses it unless she is extremely agitated or upset. Maybe this is something you can explore with the school? They aren't too expensive.

 

I do get upset when L doesn't speak especially for prolonged periods, and I can guess how worried you must be feeling about Bill. Not sure I'm the person to be giving you advice as I haven't always handled things well myself, I've got irritated, critical, and impatient with L and it hasn't helped. I've found it's best to try and stay calm and go with the flow, give L opportunities and incentives to be vocal, like saying "do you want eggs or pasta for dinner?" so she has to say a word at least, but accepting it if she needs to use a non verbal way of indicating her choice. Maybe if Bill is finding it difficult to talk he might be able to use the computer?

 

We've found with L during a non talking phase there is a way in sometimes through one of her particular interests. Her dad has sometimes found that if he plays Halo on the x box and talks to her at the same time she is able to talk. There are times when she has talked to her little brother but nobody else. Perhaps she feels less anxious with him as there is no pressure to perform.

 

The first time L stopped talking I thought I'd never hear her voice again. But it has returned - again and again - she even gives very expressive readings of Harry Potter sometimes which are a joy to listen to.

 

It's hard not to be anxious about it. I'm sure you want to find the cause, if there is an obvious one. If it's school related, I hope the holidays will help by giving Bill a bit of space.

 

Take care of yourself. You're not alone. I do understand the stress this causes

 

<'> <'>

 

K x

[Flora]

Katheryn, Thank you so much for that. I was hoping you'd see the thread being aware that your dd experiences this.

 

I am much of the same mind as you regarding the word 'selective'. I'm convinced that Bill doesn't make a concious decision not to speak; more that an overwheleming feeling prevents him from being able to.

 

I am going to let him be and see if a nice relaxing holiday takes whatever pressure off that may have caused this.

 

Suze and Mel, thanks for your words of support.

 

Best wishes all

 

Flora

 

ps... he was talking quite animatedly last night and this morning

[Kathryn]

ps... he was talking quite animatedly last night and this morning

 

That's good news, Flora. Hope you all have a peaceful holiday.

 

Take care, and pm me anytime you want to

 

K x