Head's in a spin

[mum22boys]

Hi all.

 

DS2 had appointment at CDC today. He was referred about 6 months ago as we had concerns over his behaviour, rituals, routines and some obsessive behaviour, he is 3 and a half. DS1 is to be assessed in April and is much worse than R so we didn't feel too worried about this assessment at the CDC.

Several weeks ago both me and hubby thought R had improved and I went to the HV and asked if she thought we should cancel appointment. She said if she was us she would keep it as it would be a full development check. So we kept appointment believing we would be told everything is ok.

Assessment started to go ok. We felt the questions we answered were not really pointing to ASD. During the actual assessment we realised that perhaps things weren't going as well as we thought. He was quite abusive at times (wanted to chop her head off - good job his speech is bad because we don't think she understood that). Then half way through he became a dinosaur and sat roaring about 3 inches from her face. This continued until she changed the task she had set.

At the end she said she felt his behaviour wasn't right and he scored low on social and communication. The one good thing is he has good imaginative play skills which we knew. She wants him assessed at the communication disorder assessment clinic. She will also see him again in 6 months. She was positive in the fact that she feels he won't get a diagnosis as he doesn't tick all boxes but seems to think he may be on the spectrum somewhere.

 

Feel completely overwhelmed. M is so much worse than R that now i am thinking how is his assessment going to go.

 

Just needed to 'talk' to others as I really believed R was ok, like 100% ok. I think i'll take painkillers and have an early night.

 

mum22boys

[smiley]

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Sorry - i haven't got anything to say that will help you - just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

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[forbsay]

Hello

 

Sending you lots and lots of hugs.

 

If you need to chat -you know that we are here for you.

 

Take care

 

Forbsay

xxxx

[BusyLizzie100]

Sorry - i haven't got anything to say that will help you - just wanted to send you some hugs.

 

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Me too <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

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Take your time.

Lizzie

[dooday24]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> love donnax

[bikergal]

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Take care <'>

[UltraMum]

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[mum22boys]

Thanks guys. <'>

 

I feel a bit better today. I keep thinking perhaps I should have seen it coming. But perhaps the truth is I didn't want to believe anything could be wrong. I focused all my energy on M, getting him seen, assessed, fighting the school, dla etc that i was probably too damn worn out to see R was not good socially. The truth is he isn't as bad as M so we kept thinking he would be ok, the pead would say no problem...go home!

 

I can actually say this has come as more of a shock than when we first thought M might be on the spectrum. I think part of me thought people would think I was paranoid if I believed both my kids were on the spectrum. I know the head at the school M is at and R is at nursery there won't believe it when she gets the peads letter about R. I have spent 2 years battling for M at the school, she will probably want to curl up and hide when she sees I have two to fight for

 

Anyway, life goes on regardless of what it throws at us!

 

Thanks for listening <'>

 

mum22boys

[elun1]

<'> <'> Didn't see this thread until a few minutes ago. Just wanted to send you some <'> <'> <'> <'> Elun xxx

[BusyLizzie100]

I know the head at the school M is at and R is at nursery there won't believe it when she gets the peads letter about R. I have spent 2 years battling for M at the school, she will probably want to curl up and hide when she sees I have two to fight for

 

Don't worry about it! I have two on the spectrum at the same school and I have just about managed to maintain some kind of relationship with the head! It IS hard to ring up about one and then ring a couple of days later about the other one, but that's just the way it is. In fact, we probably DO have a reasonable relationship now, despite the arguments, because we have spent so much time together discussing my kids!

 

We have it the other way round in our family, in that DS2 is more 'severe' than DS1. (Or should I say, DS2's difficulties are more obvious...) I sometimes wonder if things would have been better if the more severe one had come first, as could possibly be the case for you - perhaps you'll find awareness and experience improves quicker than it has for us.

 

It does hit you hard, so take your time. We also have just found out that DS2's difficulties are far more profound than previously thought, and i have to say that this hurts more than the original diagnosis.

 

But they're still our lovely kids, no matter what labels they have. R is still your R, and M is still your M.

 

Lizzie xx