employment law/discrimination

[tmf]

Hi,

 

I have not been on for sometime, long story....very long!! Anyway i have turned my life around and now that i have i feel able to deal with the demons that led me there in the first place. Just wondered if anybody had any good advice/experiences that they could share.....any help would be great.

 

I will try to cut a very long story short.....i have a son with AS, at the time of dx i was a manager at a well known supermarket. When he ds was dx it hit me for 6, to begin with no-one in the family accepted dx so i took it all on board without really thinking truely about the dx. Anyway about 5-6 mths after dx family finally started coming round, although it was a relief to finally have support, reality hit me in a big way. I couldn't cope both work and home and slowly day by day i found it hard to survive.

 

Thats the background in a nutshell....now the problem......

 

I was called in the office to state my performance was not up 2 standard required.....it wasn't good enough, you know the usual telling of. (i have been with the company 10 yrs and never been pulled in the office for anything like that b4 and an outstanding absence record). Instead of looking past the end of her nose and actually realise i was lost in my own little world and trying to find out y, she just kept going on about these figures and them figures. I tried to explain i agreed it wasnt my normal work standards and that past performance speaks volumes. Still not getting through that actually i needed some1 just to ask 'Y'!!!!! i attempted to tell her about son dx and got told i shouldn't bring family problems into the workplace.....i went on to explain it is not something you can just push to the back of your mind.....to which was replied with' can't u give him a pill or something'

 

By now i was sobbing my heart out they adjourned for 5 mins so i could 'get myself together'. When i went back in, rather than reflecting on what i had told them and trying to come to an amicable solution they just said i had 4 wks to get my work back up to standard. Naturally i was then of work with depression for months because i thought my world around me was caving in and no 1 was listening. 10 sodding years of 110% loyality i have given them, and the one and only time i have needed support from them they shrug me of and try and push me out.......it worked i no longer work there as i felt i could not return.

 

Sorry if i have ranted on, i tried to make this as short but as factual as i possible could. Anyway what i am asking is, do i have any rights. Is there an employment law that if i were to take this further i would have a case?? Is it discrimination to a working mother with a child with needs....i really don't know. I just wanted some advice b4 i looked further into it and having to pay for nothing.

 

Tina

[Fletts]

Hi,

 

I have not been on for sometime, long story....very long!! Anyway i have turned my life around and now that i have i feel able to deal with the demons that led me there in the first place. Just wondered if anybody had any good advice/experiences that they could share.....any help would be great.

 

I will try to cut a very long story short.....i have a son with AS, at the time of dx i was a manager at a well known supermarket. When he ds was dx it hit me for 6, to begin with no-one in the family accepted dx so i took it all on board without really thinking truely about the dx. Anyway about 5-6 mths after dx family finally started coming round, although it was a relief to finally have support, reality hit me in a big way. I couldn't cope both work and home and slowly day by day i found it hard to survive.

 

Thats the background in a nutshell....now the problem......

 

I was called in the office to state my performance was not up 2 standard required.....it wasn't good enough, you know the usual telling of. (i have been with the company 10 yrs and never been pulled in the office for anything like that b4 and an outstanding absence record). Instead of looking past the end of her nose and actually realise i was lost in my own little world and trying to find out y, she just kept going on about these figures and them figures. I tried to explain i agreed it wasnt my normal work standards and that past performance speaks volumes. Still not getting through that actually i needed some1 just to ask 'Y'!!!!! i attempted to tell her about son dx and got told i shouldn't bring family problems into the workplace.....i went on to explain it is not something you can just push to the back of your mind.....to which was replied with' can't u give him a pill or something'

 

By now i was sobbing my heart out they adjourned for 5 mins so i could 'get myself together'. When i went back in, rather than reflecting on what i had told them and trying to come to an amicable solution they just said i had 4 wks to get my work back up to standard. Naturally i was then of work with depression for months because i thought my world around me was caving in and no 1 was listening. 10 sodding years of 110% loyality i have given them, and the one and only time i have needed support from them they shrug me of and try and push me out.......it worked i no longer work there as i felt i could not return.

 

Sorry if i have ranted on, i tried to make this as short but as factual as i possible could. Anyway what i am asking is, do i have any rights. Is there an employment law that if i were to take this further i would have a case?? Is it discrimination to a working mother with a child with needs....i really don't know. I just wanted some advice b4 i looked further into it and having to pay for nothing.

 

Tina

 

 

Tina,

 

I have a boy of 18 with AS and I remember how I felt when he was diagnosed. There is a kind of greiving you go through for the child you realise you will never have. It's an awful time. You might finding joining your local NAS support group and talking to others who have gone through it useful.

 

Regarding the work situation, you may have a case for "constructive dismisal". You could look for a lawyer who has experience of employment law or try speaking to your trades union people (even if you don't work there anymore) as I think they may be very keen to help you. The attitude you encountered goes against "family friendly" policies that most large employers have these days. If you are on a low income you could get legal aid with a lawyer.

 

As for your employers remark "can't you give him a pill or something", I'm afraid there is a lot of ignorance out there about ASDs even amongst psychiatrists, teachers and social workers and I have found it very difficult as well myself at times (especially when I'm put on the defensive about my son) to articulatley describe his problems. The problem we face is that our childrens disability is invisible and so we don't get the sympathy that parents with say a child who has cerebral palsy or downs sydrome get from the public. Not only that, research has shown that as parents of children with ASDs we suffer more stress and are under more strain than parents of children with these other disabilities.

 

I do hope you will be OK.

[tmf]

Thanks for your reply fletts.

 

I just want to stand up and fight......Employers, big or small should not be aloud to treat anybody like that!

 

What you have said has made a lot of sense, thank you for taking the time. <'>

[peppa]

Sorry i don't have any advice to offer, but just wanted to say i think the way you were treated is despicable.

 

Want to send you loads of <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Maybe you should send a letter to this persons superior as they should be pulled up regarding such a comment of complete and utter cruelty and insensitivity.

 

Good luck in your fight for recognition of discrimination, i think you have a strong case. xx

[Luigi]

Hi Tina,

 

I'm not an expert in employment law, but I do get involved in it a little at work from a managerial point of view.

 

Employment law is very much on the side of the employee these days, and the company I work for simply dare not do anything that might contravene these laws. We tiptoe around some serious breaches of discipline because, when we look into it further, the employee is nearly always protected in some way.

 

So it sounds to me as though your employer might have acted unreasonably, although I appreciate you have only been able to tell us a brief outline of what happened.

 

I am sure there is a deadline for submitting consructive dismissal claims (three months I think), so you might need to get your skates on depending when this all happened.

 

If I was you I would contact a no win no fee solicitor out of the yellow pages asap and tell them your story.

 

I know that if we were contacted by an employees solicitor, we would be very keen to listen to what they had to say and almost certainly settle out of court. There is no way we would want it to go to a tribunal, even if we thought we were in the right. It's just too much hassle from the company's point of view.

 

Even if legally you do not have a case, a little pressure on your former employer might prove to be worthwhile. Don't wait a few days though, contact a solicitor today! The sooner the better.

 

Good luck.

[tmf]

Hi Luigi

 

Thanks for the insight, it happened about 10 months ago. But as the outcome of that meeting put in2 a deep state of depression and slight agorophobia i wasn't strong enough to deal with it at the time. Any fight in me and gone.

 

Now i have come out of the dark side and built myself back up, i have recently been reflecting on what did happen and was thinking they should never have got away with it in the 1st place.

 

I have contacted my union and they have advised i start going through a grievance procedure and they would gladly represent me.

 

Will keep you informed how i get on.

 

Thank you once again, i always thought them no win no fee solicitors were only for accidents ect so i will give it a go.

 

Thank you once again,

 

tina

<'>