hev Report post Posted March 2, 2007 met steve in town today with katie,we waited at bus stop and 3 buses didnt turn up,by time bus turned up steve was stressed,bus was packed solid,he kept trying to annoy katie so i asked him to stop,he then swore at me constantly and loudly for the 15 minute journey with everyone looking,i stayed calm and just told him to stop. we got off the bus and he started throwing stones at me and k,luckily none hit us then he started throwing them at parked cars in my street,pushed a supermarket trolley in the road and chucked rubbish in peoples gardens,it was horrendous,i lost it by then,i started screaming,making it 10 times worse. we got in and he kept on,then the door knocked and it was the man from respite to introduce steve to the woman whose taking him out sunday,as quick as anything he sat on the sofa like a little lamb!!i dont understand,how can he be like that for ages and then switch it off like a switch,im not saying i want him to do it in front of people but if he can stop like that that means hes just playing me up doesnt it and whys he need tablets if he can stop when he wants,i wish i understood it all,i felt drained and exhausted after they went Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Matthew Baker Report post Posted March 2, 2007 (edited) Whilst I was at the special school we were told things like this could often be the case. It is probably just because it is a change of face. I know we were told when restraining and things didn't improve it normally meant that the autistic person had an issue with one of the people there at the time. Certainly I saw students go from one extreme to the other. I was called in one day by another supply TA (teaching assistant) because one of the younger secondary students was throwing stuff around the H.E. room. I went into see him throw and smash a kettle all over the floor. When he noticed me, I just held out my hand towards him and said in a calm voice 'come on ####' and he came as happily as anything. He seemed fairly calm the entire time he was with me. Unfortunatally one of the permanent TAs from his class came and got him and things started again as soon as he was back in the class room. I saw events like this happen a few times. The above incident was with a non aural student but I saw it across the entire range of abilities. I think sometimes it even takes a new face to get through. Almost to shock the student out of it. I don't think it is a mental choice to stop I think it is just that the situation has changed enough for them to feel more comfortable. As a parent though you can't just change who is dealing with the child/teenager so easily. Edited March 2, 2007 by David Matthew Baker Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted March 3, 2007 It's a trip switch Hev and as quickly as it trips one way it can trip back the other. You, I am afraid got the blame for the bus not showing up and then the crowded journey home. Of course it was not your fault but seeing as you were there with Kaite you took the flack. The respite guy had nothing to do with the incident so he got the nice guy Hang on in there. Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 3, 2007 Hi all - If you think about it, this is perfectly normal behaviour - whether autistic or NT... You're having a barney with your partner and an unexpected visitor shows up: suddenly you (and partner) have gone from toe to toe and in yer face to sweetness, light and 'would you like a cup of tea?!' It's not quite that simple of course (what is? ) but as with many 'AS' behaviours it's more a question of degree than absolutely 'alien' behaviour, I think... Additionally, I don't think you can overlook the other very normal behaviour of 'taking-it-out-on-the-one-you-love', and autistic people are just as capable of that as anyone else I'm not saying it might not be more complex (or even difficult - there are all sorts of other considerations too) for people on the spectrum, but I do think we have to be careful about accommodating/condoning inappropriate behaviours because of AS , because ultimately that will be disabling. Fine line, and I suppose you have to call each situation on it's own merits... L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted March 3, 2007 this is where i have always had trouble as i never know what steve cannot help and what is bad behaviour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tracey Report post Posted March 4, 2007 hi hev Ive put alot of thought into this one have been told so many times that my daughter is like it at home as its where she feels safe but it makes me wonder sometimes i feel she hasnt got asd at all but just suffers from stress like her mum only over the years i have got slightly carmer I also wonder if i wind her up sometimes although at times i cant seem to win if i ignore its wrong if i intervine that doesnt seem to help its heart breaking too think you cant calm them down sorry not much help but thought id say how it is for me Tracey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
