How do i explain aspergers to my son

[kazemporium]

My Asp soon to be 7yr old has overhead conversations i have had and has now asked me what aspergers is.

How do i explain it to him without him thinking he is different. I am also worried that he may use it to his advantage and use asp as his excuse to be naughty etc.

Have you told your children they have asp and how did you tell them

[madme]

Son - he was told by the hospital- not handled that well and we allowed him to read what he wanted to- he read the Luke Jackson book and found this useful. We also had two other books - "Hi, My name s Adam" from JKP think, and a book by Peter Vermeulen called " I am Special".

Daughter recently aged 6 we used the same last two books - she liked the one about a boy called Adam. The emphasis is on the fact that it is ok to be different. She has accepted it ok. If she asks questions we try and answer them as honestly and simply as we can. If he is asking questions then he sounds like he may be ready. Good luck.

[kazemporium]

Son - he was told by the hospital- not handled that well and we allowed him to read what he wanted to- he read the Luke Jackson book and found this useful. We also had two other books - "Hi, My name s Adam" from JKP think, and a book by Peter Vermeulen called " I am Special".

Daughter recently aged 6 we used the same last two books - she liked the one about a boy called Adam. The emphasis is on the fact that it is ok to be different. She has accepted it ok. If she asks questions we try and answer them as honestly and simply as we can. If he is asking questions then he sounds like he may be ready. Good luck.

Thanks for that, unfortunatley he is still bad with his reading. but maybe i can get one and read it to him

[wishingwell]

I told my son when he had just turned 11, before this I did not see any reason too.

 

When I felt it was time I showed him programmes (visual) and easy to understand books on the positive aspects of asp, which got us started. Before this i was unsure how much he would understand and what effect it would have on how he felt about himself.

I was pleasantly surprised how he coped with being told. and i think it explained a lot of bad experiences he has had.

 

Yes he is better knowing!

But it's up to you to decide at what age he will best understand.

 

Good luck with what u decide.

[pearl]

JP was about 10 & off sick from school. Hadnt planned to (though had thought in advance what to say) the time just seemed right. He was talking about all the teachers he'd had, & TA's, & I just said, ever wonder why you have extra help & explained his brain was wired differently.

 

I used a metaphor (which he actually got) of NT people being on the beach, Asperger peeps like him paddling in the shallows, in & out, & autistic people (he knew some) swimming in the depths. I have no idea where that came from but he used that picture for years.

[Bagpuss]

We told our eldest dd she was Aspie earlier in the year. She had been dx last year. We felt she was old enough to understand, she's 9, and we also felt that leaving it any longer wouldn't of been fair. I didn't want her to go to secondary school and be unaware. I also felt, after listening to some adult Aspies, that they would of preferred to have known earlier, rather than later. She has taken it in her stride. She has told a couple of friends. Sometimes it has made it easier, because we can explain why she is reacting or feeling the way the does. We found a fantastic book, via Amazon, called Aspergers...What Does It Mean To Me....a workbook explaining self awareness and life lessons to the child or youth with HFA or Aspergers. By Catherine Faherty. DD and I/DH work through it on a regular basis, and it has helped so much.

 

Our youngest dd 6 ASD is completely oblivious of ASD, and wouldn't even begin to be able to understand. I'm unsure at what age she will comprehend it.

 

Whatever you decide, the very best of luck.

[madme]

Can I just add that with Ds we had no choice the doctors told us the dx in front of him without telling him what it meant - despite the fact that he is v clever and knew full well that something was up as he had had lots of appointments. We were left to pick up the pieces so to speak - he was 8. When we explained it properly he felt better as it helped him understand that it was ok to be different.

With DD she has grown up with Aspergers and has read lots as it helped her to understand her brother better- it also meant that when she started going for assessments she was curious as to why and quickly put two and two together- she asked her brother if she had it and so we had no choice but to tell her. We had intended to wait. She was however able to understand it in a simple way. She also sees it as a positive thing.

It doesnt however help when some stupid friend of my MIL told them both this weekend that ASD doesn't exist and they "look ok" to her. I wasn't there.

Good luck.