Could the way i'm feeling...

[mum22boys]

Hi,

 

M was diagnosed ASD a couple of months ago. Now we are awaiting ADHD assessment.

 

I am feeling soooo low at the moment about it all. The days just seem to be one long list of problems. I feel like the day just never ends with m being so oppositional, controlling, the temper tantrums, things having to be done a certain way.....Things just seem to be getting worse. His behaviour has gone down hill. The school have never backed me with me believing m has behavioural problems. Now they have put him down a band for behaviour. This will have no effect on him because he wants to go down the bands until he's expelled because he hates school. They can't 'get it' that golden time doesn't work. Every day seems a challenge. Today he ran out of school twice before i had even got R to nursery. The LSA got angry that he had it in his head that he needed to go to the class without anyone seeing him on the way. She muttered'i've no time for this' when i told her how he wanted to get to class.

 

I just don't know what to do. I was considering moving him but I found out that it is VERY unusual for his consultant to ask for a meeting at a school. She requested one at M's so we decided to keep him there for now so we can assess what she is going to propose. He gets no support at school at the moment.

 

His behaviour may be worse because of all the unsettling things that happen in this term.

 

I just don't feel there is any escape from it all. R who is 3 is waiting to be assessed. I spend all day with him having to have things done in a certain way. Why does it have to be so hard.

 

It makes me angry when I stand at the school after a day of it all and the other mums are complaining about their kids. I just stand there and say nothing but inside i'm thinking, you have no idea, come spend a day with mine and you will soon see who has the problems. Then I feel bad because there are others that will be worse off than me and i'm fed up with my situation. Then I think I should be grateful for what i've got, even if I am stressed all day.

 

Does any of it ever get any better, or easier????

 

mum22boys

[tess]

Hi,

i also felt the same ,at the point of diagnosis, and there seems nowhere to go with it, i have set up my own service for families, like us,if you want you could contact me via my website

****

to see if can i give you some advice

 

cheers

tess x

 

M was diagnosed ASD a couple of months ago. Now we are awaiting ADHD assessment.

 

I am feeling soooo low at the moment about it all. The days just seem to be one long list of problems. I feel like the day just never ends with m being so oppositional, controlling, the temper tantrums, things having to be done a certain way.....Things just seem to be getting worse. His behaviour has gone down hill. The school have never backed me with me believing m has behavioural problems. Now they have put him down a band for behaviour. This will have no effect on him because he wants to go down the bands until he's expelled because he hates school. They can't 'get it' that golden time doesn't work. Every day seems a challenge. Today he ran out of school twice before i had even got R to nursery. The LSA got angry that he had it in his head that he needed to go to the class without anyone seeing him on the way. She muttered'i've no time for this' when i told her how he wanted to get to class.

 

I just don't know what to do. I was considering moving him but I found out that it is VERY unusual for his consultant to ask for a meeting at a school. She requested one at M's so we decided to keep him there for now so we can assess what she is going to propose. He gets no support at school at the moment.

 

His behaviour may be worse because of all the unsettling things that happen in this term.

 

I just don't feel there is any escape from it all. R who is 3 is waiting to be assessed. I spend all day with him having to have things done in a certain way. Why does it have to be so hard.

 

It makes me angry when I stand at the school after a day of it all and the other mums are complaining about their kids. I just stand there and say nothing but inside i'm thinking, you have no idea, come spend a day with mine and you will soon see who has the problems. Then I feel bad because there are others that will be worse off than me and i'm fed up with my situation. Then I think I should be grateful for what i've got, even if I am stressed all day.

 

Does any of it ever get any better, or easier????

 

mum22boys

Edited June 15, 2007 by baddad

[kate26]

Hi

 

To be honest I am not sure if things get easier or if its that as time goes on you just get better at dealing with it. My daughter is 8 now,she was diagnosed with ASD when she was 4 . And I remember that being a really tough year.She has always attended a mainstream school and whilst its worked brilliantly for her, there are some times where you feel alienated from the other parents,as the problems you face are different to theirs.

 

When my daughter would not want to go in to school she used to just sit on the floor by the gate and would not stand up.If I tried to pick her up she would wriggle and kick her legs until I put her back down. All the other parents and children would have to walk around her . And I just used to feel so ashamed, and think that everyone looking at me and thinking that I was a failure because I could not get my child to go into school . I used to wonder what was wrong with me and what I was doing that was so wrong .And there was a great many days when after she was in school I would go home and cry

 

My health visitor was a great help. She put me in touch with a local ASD group for parents and it really made a huge difference to how I felt. I was not the only mum out there who had to deal with problems like this, and to talk to people in the same position completly changed my whole outlook. I stopped feeling like a failure and I discovered that I was not doing anything wrong. And I would definately recomend going to an ASD support group if there are any in your area.

 

 

We still have tough days. She has stopped sitting on the floor now, instead she runs and hides in the bush in the playground if she does not want to go in. She did it yesterday, she likes her school and is happy there,but it is more fun if she can stay home and watch spongebob instead.

I just waited with her by the bush, until her LSA came along and coaxed her into class . I dont worry now that other people might think I am a failure as a parent. Because I now know that I am not. I am doing the best I can and that is all I can do. Instead of going home and crying. I now go home and have a well deserved cup of coffee before I continue with the day.

 

So hope is out there. And whilst you will still have problems, I am sure it will get lots better and easier for you as time goes on