University support/mentoring/befriending/buddying

[Mumble]

Does anyone have, or know of anyone who has, some type of support as a university student? I was so pleased about finally getting support today that I went into it feeling really positive - things seemed to be looking so much better. Of course, as I found to my cost today, the more positive you feel about something, the worse it hits when it all goes wrong. And boy did it go wrong. I can't say much without identifying the person, but surfice to say, support doesn't usually (at least I didn't think so) come in the form of being told you're making up excuses. I'm not. Why can't they get it into their heads that I want to do every aspect of my course. I'm not trying to find a way around things, I want support to be able to do things. I am fed up of people thinking that because I'm doing a PhD I can't possibly have any problems. The two don't conflate.

 

And so it fell on the academic staff to pick up the pieces of a Mumble as I fell apart completely having kept it together until about 5 seconds out of the door. Again. This isn't fair on them - I know that. But also it's not fair on me, because 'support' shouldn't leave me at crisis point. There are wonderful people on here (you know who you are) who recognised when I wasn't coping at the beginning of the Greenwich meetup. So why can't a trained person recognise distress when I'm far beyond that stage?

 

The trouble is, I would, if following the correct channels, go to my disability officer and say 'it's not working, what can you do to change it'. Hmmm, her track record doesn't give me much hope here. So I want to find out for myself about different sources of support - I know people have talked about befriending and other things - I wondered who these were for and what they involved? What I really need is someone I can talk to, ask stupid questions of without feeling silly, feel relaxed around, who can help me join in socially - maybe with me, who has some interest in what I'm doing and can perhaps help me out at outside events - conferences for instance. Perhaps it might take more than one person to fulfil this role. The stupid thing (in my view) is that extensive funding for this support has already been agreed and is in place - but I don't have an appropriate person to supply the service. What I want to try and do is put together a list of who (people or organisations) can provide for which of my needs. This should be my disability officer's job, but she's not going to do anything so I want to put something together to prove that the 'impossible' is possible and then present this to her.

 

A really frustrated and unhappy Mumble

[llisa32]

Hi Mumble...just wanted to say I was sorry to hear your support person was about as much use as a chocolate teapot yesterday! <'>

 

Unfortunately I have no direct experience of this sort of support, although I do understand what you need from the support..Do you have funding then so that someone 'outside' of the uni could provide this support? - or does it need to be someone employed within the uni system?

 

I was going to do some research to see if I could help, but was unsure if someone outside of the uni would be allowed to come in and be your support onsite..if you see what I mean

 

Let me know and I'll see what I come up with...also hope some others on here may have some practical experience they can share

 

Take care

[Mumble]

Thanks for your reply Lisa. A chocolate teapot sounds delicious. I know what this means though, and you're right.

 

As far as I'm aware the support can come from anywhere as long as it can be justified as suitable. I've been assessed as needing 6 hours (5 face-to-face, 1 email) support a week of a mentoring/buddying/befriending nature and 2 hours sepcialist tutor support (which I get from my supervisor). My funding council have agreeded this level of support, so all the funding is there (and has been since March). Apparently though, it's very difficult (according to my Disability Officer who I now have very little faith in) to find someone who would want to do the job. This I don't understand, and I suspect there must be other people in my position.

 

Mumble

[llisa32]

Hiya, only thing I've found so far....might be worth giving them a call/email if you haven't already:

 

Support for students with Asperger's syndrome in the UK

 

"Student support is a new initiative aimed at providing specialist support and guidance to students with Asperger syndrome and their place of learning. Advice and information is given by our consultants in helping to develop an understanding of the difficulties people with Asperger syndrome may face with regards to their studies. We also work on a one to one basis with the student and liase with staff and peers. Help is also given in setting up support networks such as mentors and providing effective strategies to aid independent learning. The support and advice is provided by Prospects, part of the National Autistic Society. For further information contact Judith Kerem, Work Preparation Team Leader, Prospects, 8 The Ivories, 6-8 Northampton Street, London N1 2HY.

 

Office Number 0207 704 7450

 

Work mobile 07795667749

 

Fax 0207 359 9440

 

E-mail judith.kerem@nas.org.uk"

[Mumble]

Thanks Llisa.

 

I've PM'ed you.

 

Mumble

[LittleRae]

Hi Mumble

 

Not sure how this works in the UK, but I think I have heard of others on this board who have support (not in college, but general support) - Would it be possible to employ someone yourself, using this funding - sort of like a PA?

[Mumble]

Thanks LittleRae,

 

That's what I'm thinking might be a possible option. At least if it didn't work I can say I've tried - I have nothing to loose, beause the funding is there - at the moment it is just being wasted without appropriate support. I'm now trying to find possibilities for finding a 'safe' person to provide this.

 

Mumble

[llisa32]

Ok...another website that might be worth a peruse...

 

http://www.mandbf.org.uk/regions/london/co...l_co_ordinator/

 

From reading they may be able to assist you in finding a 'safe' person, or have a pool of people available

 

Hope this is useful..

[Mumble]

That's brilliant Llisa!

 

It clearly explains what mentoring and befriending are (and importantly the differences between them - which will help me in arguing why I need both - goals orientated and social support).

 

I think I'll take this alongside other things I can find and wave it under my diability officer's nose (though not too close to give her too many paper cuts )

 

Thanks.

 

Happier Mumble

[David Matthew Baker]

Have PMed you. I hope you manage to find someone to fill this role who suites your personality. Once again I'm wishing I was nearer London. If I think of anything else I'll let you know.

 

David.

[Mumble]

Thanks David. The befriending sounds like exactly the sort of thing I'm looking for at least for part of my support. If I had someone to do things with on a more social level it would be brilliant. Plus, when I'm more relaxed/distracted by another activity I talk more easily, so it's got to have benefits that way as well. It's so annoying that my university know about none of this. They should be telling me about the support that's out there, not the other way around.

 

Mumble

[David Matthew Baker]

Unfortunatally I think organistations often don't know as much as they should. They often don't have a clue about the support and services available in the area and won't (or don't have time to) search to find out what is available. Hopefully at least they'll make a record of any information you give them and can then at least offer it to anyone else who has similar problems in the future.

[Canopus]

I have discussed the issue of student support several times with my psychologist who works in a university. He thinks that universities currently provide very little support to students with AS. An AS support centre that will provide support and advice to students is in the process of being set up, and should be ready for use early next year.

[Alyth_mum]

Just a thought Mumble - Social services (you should be able to ask a general question without waiting to be allocated a social worker)sometimes know about 'befrienders' along with the WI (Women's Institute).

Around here in Perth shire the WI is trying to encourage younger members to join and one of the things they suggest someone might to (besides jam making) was a form of befrienmding so it might be worth a try.

 

Try the Princess Alexander's trust for advice and maybe more and also Duke of Edinburgh award (gold)students if you want a 'friend'- and you don't mind that you might be part of their award scheme on the Voluntary side.I'm sure once someone has bothered to actually gt to know you there is a high chance that they may well turn into a 'proper' friend.

 

Then there is the dreaded CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau)

 

Up here we have a telephone service called 'DISIP' which stands for Disability Information Service In Perthshire - anyone can phone them up and they will try and find info for you - if there a similar service down your way?

 

See I am trying to think up resources for you LOL

 

I try to 'Leave no stone unturned'

 

Louise