School not going as well as I'd hoped

[llisa32]

Well....kinda thinking what was the purpose of last weeks meetings and notes to teachers....

 

One of the issue's that arose last week was that J was finding maths 'hard' because he had to copy down sums from the board before actually working them out. I asked the school if whereever possible 'copying' down is avoided and other techniques to be used (worksheets/verbal etc).

 

I also asked the school to make sure that J has written in his diary what homework he should be doing and if it's illegible for someone else to write a note so we know what he's supposed to be doing

 

Tonight I pick him up and he's bursting for the loo (downstairs) having left his bag upstairs..I go to get bag while he runs to loo.while I'm there the teacher tells me what J's homework for tonight is:

 

1. Copying out 10 sentances from a text book and then underlining the nouns - main purpose being to identify the nouns

 

 

I then get home and there is nothing.....zero.....written in his diary!!

 

So if I hadn't have gone for his bag I would have had no idea about the homework, and he's currently sitting down attempting it getting more and more angry!!

 

I've told him if he writes 1st five sentances I'll write the next five and ask him which the nouns are

 

Interested to get your thoughts guys....the teacher has had first hand info from last week so is well aware of the 'copying down' issue - if you think I'm over reacting pls feel free to tell me!

[mrs fussy]

Hi, and no i dont think your over reacting. These things really annoy me too you ask them if they can not do some things and it seems to me they go out of there way to do just the opposite!!! why is this? and writing in the homework book, how hard is that and they still cant do it, i had the same problem with a home/school diary at my sons old school me and teacher agreed this would be a good idea and they wrote in it twice in 6 mnths!!! then hit me with 6mnths of problems all at once!!! i certainly understand where your coming from, perhaps you should write to them with what you agreed at the meeting and then they cant deny having agreed. sorry no other suggestions but if you have any success getting through to them let me know your secret. :wallbash: Mrs F x

[Mumble]

Do you have access to a scanner or photocopier at home?

 

If you do, I would scan and print or photocopy the sentences and stick them into his book then J can do the homework and you've shown the school how simple it is a)to adapt to his needs and b)to have homework matching the objective. Of course handwriting is important but if that is not the objective of the homework he should not be being assessed on it.

 

I have to go to dinner now before the doughnuts get eaten , but I'll reply more later - hope that's some help

[Mumble]

I'm just trying to remember exactly what you wrote in the letter with regards copying (someone has sent me a tonne of PMs so I've had to clear out my inbox as it filled up again ). Did it say copying generally or copying in maths specifically? I'm not trying to excuse the teacher's ignorance, I'm trying to understand where she's coming from.

 

I do think scanning/copying the work for J to do is a good idea but I can equally see how it might stress J out because it's not what he was told to do. It might be worth talking with him and explaining that you understand his frustrations and that you will talk to the teacher and explain why he has done his homework as he has and that he won't get into trouble. I would then write again to the teacher along the lines of:

Dear Miss X,

 

Thank you for speaking to me briefly yesterday afternoon with regards J's homework; it certainly made a big difference to communication issues within our house and hence to J's willingness to settle to his work that I understood what was required.

 

However, J has, as you are aware, difficulties with copying from the printed page due to his Asperger's. These difficulties are confounded by dyslexia for which he has received in school support from the LSU. Particularly in the evening, when his eyes are tired, he finds this even more of a challenge. He therefore found this particular piece of homework very frustrating as despite being quite able to identify the nouns and discuss these with me verbally he felt unable to demonstrate this understanding in his written work. This frustration, building up over time, may lead towards negative rather than the pro-school attitudes that J's father and myself are keen to foster. As such, I took the decision to adapt J's homework so that he could demonstrate his awareness in line with the objectives of the task but without becomming demoralised by the extensive written aspect of the task. You will see the simple adaptation that I have made in his workbook.

 

J's frustrations over this homework suggest to me that his difficulties may be more accute than I realised when I initially talked to you about adaptations to support him in mathematics. He is very anxious at the moment and I do feel it would be prudent for such strategies to be applied across the curriculum to relieve this anxiety through giving J equitable access to the curriculum alongside his peers. These strategies were documented in the letter dated 12th (?) September, and I do hope that they, particularly with reference to extensive copying and handwriting, can be applied to respond to J's specific needs.

 

You will additionally note from this that it was agreed that we would work together to ensure that J's homework requirements were clear. It has made such a difference tonight not having to cause additional stress to J in asking what his diary says, but, as you will be aware, it will not always be possible for me to check the requirements with you on a daily basis particularly when J's father is collecting his from school. I would therefore be grateful if you could ensure that his homework is written legibally within his diary before he leaves at the end of the day.

 

With all good wishes for continued success

 

Mrs Lisa.

 

How does that sound?

[llisa32]

Thanks very much for the thought Mrs F <'> and thanks for advice 'Ms Mumble!' <'>

 

Your memory is correct Mumble and I had spoken to the school about 'copying' maths specifically...I guess I should have said 'anything involving writing!'

 

For tonight me and J have finished our homework!

 

He very reluctantly wrote out the first 5 sentances and located the nouns, I wrote out the last 5 sentances and he told me which were the nouns.

 

Had no chance of him practising spelling by that point so did those verbally...I called word out he spelt it back to me, strangely (in that I haven't figured out y yet) he seems to 'learn' spellings very well....I'm guessing cos of rote memory type thing. But....if he has to write a diary entry with no one spelling it for him he would spell the work incorrectly.

 

So in a spelling test all is well....using the words elsewhere a bit hit and miss

 

I shall persuse the letter Mumble, thanks very much....no doubt clog up yr inbox later!

[Mumble]

For tonight me and J have finished our homework!

Well done - I think that deseves a reward

 

Now do you fancy doing my writing for me? University Challenge is on in an hour and a half and I ain't going to be finished by then in time to scream at the TV!!!

[LittleRae]

Lisa

 

We've also had this problem. In spite of telling the teacher on numerous occasions he was still getting Maths (sometimes up to 20) which he had to copy out and then complete. I now tell each teacher ONCE at the start of the year and then he either does them in the book or I re-write them if there isn't room. I just add a note to the journal - 'as per our agreement, DS has done....XYZ'. It's always worked for us. DS is also good at spelling but it seems to escape him when doing general writing.

 

Once thing he hit upon himself to save all the writing - They often get 5-10 words to put in sentences to show they understand the meaning. DS loves to put all of them in the one sentence. He takes great pride in this and has come up with some hilarious (but also correctly worded) statements.

 

I think we've also learned to stress less over the past 2 years. Where previously if he'd forgotten to take home a book he needed, I would have been on the phone to his friends and writing down all the Maths, etc. Now, I just add a note 'no book'. They are aware of his difficulties and the Assistant is there to make sure all is well. If she's not doing her job properly, it's not my place to spend the evening trying to source the information. Sometimes a dx can be such a blessing

[llisa32]

Thanks LittleRae, Must confess I'm now reaching the point where I'm refusing to stress about whther the homework gets done or not and thats only after 1.5 weeks into yr3 ...problem is J stresse's a bit...last night I told him I'd put all schoolbooks away and wrote my comments in the diary to say what I'd done - this morning he told me he was also supposed to finish another bit of writing that he hadn't finished and this was 30 secs before he left for school!

 

When I told him to just tell the teacher that mummy said was fine you'd done enough for last night, he wasn't happy about that ....but being as I didn''t know he was sposed to do it!

 

For J skool rules 'rule' and we're still trying to get him to understand that sometimes mum and dad do!

 

When we had last weeks anxiety about the changes etc at one point he shouted at me 'Mum...ONLY the school council can change things! - not you!

 

Hopefully the psych letter/report will turn up in the post today and I can use it to my hearts content!!

[wishingwell]

Does your son have a statement,

Homework in primary was a complete nightmare. It could take all night to get through it.

I spoke with the Head-teacher and his teacher and we came to an understanding that if he was over stressed he would give one word answers. If there were 10 sentences I would write half and he would write half. Lots of photo copies to reduce the amount of writing. Maths, if he fully understood the questions 5 sums where enough instead of a full page. He loves drawing and he was allowed as a reward for doing his h/work to draw a picture which was also marked and he was very pleased with this. We had a home/school dairy which I wrote in and the school wrote in, if it wasn't written down them I wrote and asked why? Because he would be extremely upset at not having his work done. I made it very clear that his h/work was very important to me and him but we could only achieve with this with their full co-operation. If they carried out their part I did not need to be standing in the school the next morning waiting on an explanation as to why my son was upset about homework, which happened quite a few times in the early stages. I think they eventually got tired looking at me and got it right.

 

He no longer needs these things he does pages of homework without asking me to write (thinks he knows more than me now) thank god!

[LittleRae]

Lisa

 

I got around the 'school rules' bit by having a meeting with teacher and agreeing with her things like

 

* I can copy the maths or he does it in the book

*certain amount of time only to be spent on homework and no sanctions if it's unfinished

*days off homework if he has something specific after school, such as doctor's appointment, OT, etc.

 

After the meeting I got the teacher herself to tell DS the new rules. She repeated them and got him to agree to them.