Self Injurious behaviour

[kirstie]

Hi guys,

Not been around for a while. Lots of other stuff going on...won't bore you with it all.

Anyway, some of you may remember Lewis has been ina language unit for over two years now and is doing fantastically -in the classroom anyway. But socially he's still very isolated particularly in the playground. The thing is i'm sick of asking for a play programme to be implemented and for him to have some support in the lunch break and other breaks but the teacher looks at me sideways like i'm over-reacting.

Well this is not the first incident, but today when he came home i noticed a huge bruise on his cheekbone! I asked him what happened and he got so upset saying it was a secret (and i'm not liking that either...) and it took me ages to persuade him to tell me what happened. The story goes like this. "I was standing in the line to go in from break, because icouldn't find anyone to play with because it's too hard ( ) and @?!* came over and said i was too much over the line!" the tears start at this point, he goes on to say they start pushing each other the other kid bursts into tears and another kid tells Lewis it's all his fault so Lewis takes off somewhere else in the line and proceeds to punch himself in the face- very hard by the looks of it!! He told me he was crying but no adults were around to tell.

Is this familiar to anyone, the self injurious behaviour when upset or angry?? I have spoken to him recently about it as i noticed lots of small bruises on his forehead and it turns out he has been headbutting his bunk-beds in temper (so much so his nose was bleeding!) i was so upset that i cried. It breaks my heart, but it upsets me even more that he is hurting himself and cannot see another way to vent.

Is it just me or is it always when you think things are going ok with them?

I have spoken to the Headteacher (well, was spoken to like a two year old ) and insisted that he has help in the playground so we will see....

just needed to ask if this is common with anyone else?

[jb1964]

Hi Kirstie,

 

Can't really offer any advice just loads of thoughts being sent your way.

 

My daughter is 14 and often self harms - be it headbutting the walls, punching her head, scramming her face, slapping her face or digging her nails in her arms.

 

Usually it's a result of frustration from either not understanding something, thinking someone doesn't understand what she's saying or someones behaviour - sometimes this accompanies screaming and sometimes not - depending on how she is. Her anger is at either not being understood or not understanding - I can't really explain any more than that other than we try our best but sometimes it's so difficult to know what exactly the problem is.

 

Hope this settles down soon for you all.

Take care,

 

Jb

[cmuir]

Hi Kirstie

 

Robert self harms a lot. Usually occurs when he's upset, angry or frustrated for various reasons. He'll bite, nip, punch, hit himself in the face and bangs his head off the walls and floor (and try to run on road, knife to his neck, shoelaces around his neck). I'm frequently surprised/baffled by how quickly he can change from being quite calm to any of the aforementioned. It's incredibly upsetting watching a child do this kind of thing to themselves. This is something that I've repeatedly spoken to CAMHS about and frankly aren't really getting any satisfactory answers. Don't really know what to suggest.

 

Poor Lewis. Angers me so much that education people are so full of ****, talking the talk about inclusion, but not actually providing the support. I know from when I last saw you that Lewis is doing really well academically. Fella obviously needs help socialising at play/lunch times.

 

Really hope you get somewhere with the school.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline

[Clare63]

Kirstie,

Firstly some big <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> for you and your lad.

Its so heartbreaking to see our children behave in such a manner and out of sheer frustration beat, scratch and punch themselves black and blue, sadly my son does the same . It is obviously very stressful for your child at playtime and I believe you need to keep on at the school to get some help for him during these times.

Clare x x x

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

i have been led to believe that actual pain is better than the confusion and mess going on in head, from stress and stuff, possibly self hate ect

how is he at communciating, dd had a "feelings book" which she worte down her day, good and bad, and i could see it to chat bout things and try and get things out of her head.

but he should not be put through this, harming himself is as bad as someone hitting him, the school should be helping him not get to this point

at home could u give him a huge pillow or something and tell him to punch it or head bang that,

get in contact with your support?? and see if they can help

dd has never really hurt self, has been more lashing at me, but has been known, but is in a group where lots do cut themselves

[kirstie]

Thanks for the replies,

I phoned the School and told them even though incidents in the playground dont happen every day he still needs support in the playground. It feels like every time icome up with this or ask for a play programme to be put in place the Teacher puts me off!

I have also asked for a social story to be made up but again she put me off. I'm not over-protective and making a fuss about nothing this is serious!!!

I have a review meeting in November and his Consultant is attending so i might give her a call beforehand and let her know whats going on. They might not listen to me but they will definatly listen to her if she makes recommendations.

I might try the feelings book actually, it sounds like quite a good idea and even though hes only 8 i think its worth a go- so thanks for that idea

[Karen A]

Hi.Ben has started to write a journal every day which includes an indication of how he is feeling.It is working really well.He can write about how he feels and he lets us read it so we understand where he is at.

As regards the self harm Ben has also hit himself with his hands when very upsett.We found the most helpful thing to do was to try to find the trigger and address it.

I think you are right to push school to provide some support outside lessons. <'> <'> I know it is hard to watch your child in distress.Karen