Cat Report post Posted September 28, 2007 I don't post here often now mostly because I find what is happening to some of our children in the name of 'getting and education' unbearable to read. This poem was written by Josh Muggleton who I had the honour of hearing speak at the luanch of the NAS 'make school make sense' campaign last year. This is a poem which is currently on Josh's Blog and I have to admit it made me cry - emotive it may but - see what you think My Future My future, my present, my past, are all controlled The horror, the memories of my past, stop me from resting What happened is seared on my mind Never to forget the pain of school The memories haunts me, in my dreams The memories torments me in my thoughts The memories kills me in my hopes The memories chokes me in my life Part of my sanity, lies in the school yard Screaming in agony in what it has to endure. What is left of my sanity, weeps for the rest In drowning sorrow, and merciless hate The memories follow me, a shadow of my being When I run, it runs with me, when I hide, it hides with me When I travel, it travels with me, when I speak, it speaks with me The Hyde to my Jeckyll, the devil to my angel, the darkness to my light The strength of the memories, the pain, is unimaginable Harnessed, it fuels my fire for change, For speaking out for those who can?t Living my life to make a difference The strength of my memories, the pain, is unimaginable Let loose, it controls me, and I relive the horror I feel nothing but indescribable hate for so many people and places It removes any joy in my life, because the places still stand, and the people still laugh In my mind, a never ending war is faught The Angel, against the devil The armies fight, day and night, and no winner will ever be determined But I feel every blow, every wound, every death, as if it were my own. Some nights, I cry myself to sleep, at the memories of what happened Some days, I can do naught but feel a burning hate for what happened Some nights, I go to sleep with a smile, for the change it made me make Some days, I can do naught but feel elated, for the lives I have changed These memories, are as valuable as diamonds Yet as valuable as a rotting fish These memories are as desired as fame, fortune, glory Yet as desired as manure I am taught to forgive, to move on Yet how can I move on from this? I may have left the school But the school has not left me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted September 29, 2007 That is so near the knuckle I found it physically painful to read. It sums up exactly what Bill has gone through and is going through now. Thank you cat for showing that. Flora X Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted September 29, 2007 That really comes from the heart, doesn't it. I've heard Josh speak too, at an NAS regional seminar. He's a great speaker and describes so vividly his past experiences at school. If only every school in the country could hear the message! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted September 29, 2007 I am upset now, it really is very visual and physical, the psych of the feelings and emotions, very very powerful, and it goes to show that emotional hurt goes much more deeper than the bruises and wounds as with these in time they heal, but this poem shows the true deeper level of what happens to a person when they are traumatised, this was all while he was a small boy and even now as a man. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted September 29, 2007 (edited) The bottom line is that we as a society expect far too much from 'ALL' of our children, in my opinion, and that goes doubly for any child who has a disability especially autism which is very much a hidden disability. We expect these children to attend mainsteam schools and to fit in when clearly many do not have the capacity to do this. We expect that after a period of time in a mainstream school that autistic children will learn to normalise when clearly this is never going to happen. Autism is for life and not until a mainstream school beats it out of the child. We expect the child to make reasonable adjustments as if it was as easy as that when clearly it is sometimes impossible for a child to do this. We expect that a child will learn to cope with their disability and also receive and education when no one is actually teaching them about their disability or themselves Clearly there is something very wrong here. We expect that if a child with autism has a high IQ it will not require any additional support or adjustments Clearly IQ has NOTHING to do with the way in which the autism impacts on that child. We expect parents to accept that what is on offer for our children is the best that they can hope to expect so parents must accept whatever is on offer how ever bad that provision may be Clearly this is very wrong. From where I am standing it is the expectations of what society has decided is needed on behalf of the autistic person that are totally wrong. Having fought the system now for 7 years, with very little if any change to show for it, I do not know how to make this change for our children so that when they become adults they are not scared by their educational provision for life Cat Edited September 29, 2007 by Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted September 29, 2007 <'> <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
