Cant cope with my meltowns anymore

[suzy27]

Sorry i just need to vent.

 

Ive had the day from absolute hell today and it has caused me to get really annoyed with myself and other people.

 

I had to take my pet to get checked out for fleas because we seem to have a problem with them at the moment - My mum has some really bad bites from them so we are having to get the council in to get fumigate the flat on Tuesday - I knew for a fact that my chinchilla did not have them but i took her to make sure, and stop family turning around and saying it was her that was causing the problem. We cant have her in the flat while they are doing it so i asked relatives to maybe look after her for a few hours while they do it - Its not like she needs to be walked or fed or anything but it was met with cant u put her in garage. Our garage is damp and full of spiders and the only thing we put in there is the car.

 

I just felt that they were blaming me as per usual, not so much my mum but my grandparents. It just comes down to the fact that i feel like a complete and utter failure - I dont have a job, i cant seem to cope with new situations when they come down, then my anger comes out and i act like a child because i dont know how to cope with the problem.

 

It didnt help also that i saw they guy that I had a brief relationship at the beginning of the year till I worked out eventually that he was just using me. - I saw him a week ago as well for the 1st time in 8 months and i thought I coped quite well then but i realise that i am not over the fact that i was so pathetically nieve to ever trust him. I just didnt know how to read him properly or show my feeling properly.

 

Also i have been so good at trying not to take my anger out on myself ie self harm - I thought i was getting better at not doing it but when things get on top of me i rant and rave, shout things i shouldnt and i dont know how to get out of this rediculous problem.

 

Does anyone else have this problem and how do I stop it??????

 

Sorry about the rant but I dont have anyone else to talk to about it.

 

Suz

[pingu]

Hi Suz. You rant away hun.

 

You obviously feel as though you can't do anything right at the moment. can you speak to your doctor about how the stress and anxiety make your self harming resurface? Or at least ask him to refer you to someone who can help you manage the 'meltdowns'.

I sure someone will be along soon to give you some better advice, but for now dont beat yourself up too much.

take care.

shaz x

[suzy27]

Hi Pingo,

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

I'm hoping that i wont need to go back to see the doctor until i get a diagnosis. I have managed to stay off antidepressants since March so i dont really want to go down that route again.

 

Hopefully 2 weeks in Gran Canaria might help me feel slightly better.

 

Suz

[pingu]

Hopefully 2 weeks in Gran Canaria might help me feel slightly better

 

<'> It sounds as though it might.

 

have an excellent time.

x

[suzy27]

Thanks for replying to my post.

[Clare63]

Suzy,

You've come to the right place, have a good rant and tell us all about it, sometimes its good just to talk and let your feeling out to people who are not involved with your day to day life. We won't judge you, but will offer support and understand, its not surprising you're feeling this way at the mo, our pets are so precious to us and rely on us to look after them. Perhaps you could contact a local pet care company, one of those who feed your animals whilst you are away or walk your dog when your at work, I know these people take small animals in and maybe they could look after your chinchilla for the day or weekend whilst the flat is being funigated, at least then you won't get frustrated when family members refuse.

Good luck and have a lovely time in Gran Canaria, you have picked the right time to go away now its turned so cold.

Take care

Clare x x x

[suzy27]

I suppose i sound so selfish though - Its not fair that my mum has all those bites and i understand that my family are just worried about her as i am but its more the fact that they seem to think that because i have a chinchilla that its somehow down to her. I had already spoken to the vet on wednesday about weather they are likely to get them and they said that its extremely rare - I was only asking my grandparents if she could sit in her pet carrier for a few hours while they do the flat because of the danger to her from the fumes - My only other option is my mum takes her with her to work and bring her home when she comes back which isnt that ideal - I have booked her into the local petshop when we go away and if i was to ask them to take her for a couple of hours they would want to know why and there would be no way they would take her if i told them we have a problem with fleas.

 

I think i just need to get away from everything and think - This year has just been one disaster after another.

 

Yeah I will be glad to get away - Not so much because of the weather but for the fireworks.

[Mumble]

If it's only for a few hours could you put the chinchilla in it's travelling cage in the car while the flat is done?

[Clare63]

Awwww bless you Suzy, please don't be so hard on yourself.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

 

PS you don't need to tell the pet shop just make up an excuse !

[JsMum]

In our area they do a course for Anger Management, now its very linked to Anxiety, and high levels of feeling very frustrated and not been able to safely release out our emotions, is there any chance that your area do an Anger Management as I am sure it will also help eleviate the urge to self harm as that is a coping stratagy that has come to help you deal with your emotions, I would ask your local Library, or Adult Education Centre.

 

As for the break up from your relationship there is also some fantastic courses from Relate, they offer one that is for those who have just finished a relationship and they felt uses, it looks into the reasons why and how we can heal from that betrayal and it does build you up to deal with the unexpected sightings.

 

A dairy can help maybe, and some Anger management tools at home, the biggest thing I recommend is a free stranding punch bag, and a box of old pots to smash and throw in the garden, or the garage.

 

This is what I call controlled release anger.

 

Then there is looking at some Meditation and Relaxation techneques too that will help keep it in control when you really feel your going to go into a meltdown.

 

It does sound like that Holiday is going to be a great way to reduce the stress so do have a fantastic Holiday.

 

JsMum