Sweet 16!!!

[purplegail]

HI All

 

It's my DD's 16th tomorrow - today!!!

 

And I am so tired and so exhausted. Since she was 4 or 5 I have been batling with the GP and with school, then with CAMHS and the LEA to get the help that she and the rest of my family deserves. Every time they close one door, I have to frantically search, myself, for another in the vain hope that we can get the support we need. I give up!!! I even, in total desperation, looked up the details of channel 4's brat camp!!!

mY dd HATES ME SO MUCH THAT i HAVE BEEN INSTRUCTED NOT TO BUY HER A PRESENT - only her Dad, who sees her for 2 quality hours a fortnight is allowed to do that!!!!

She will accept a dog or nothing!!!! - we have 2!!!and 2 rabbits and 2 rats and 5 gerbils and 2 hamsters but how selfish am I for not giving her the ONLY thing she wants!!!! Her Dad has sent a CD and it is proudly placed by the fire - traditional prezzie place in our house!!! I have bought her something truly from the heart and am too scared of having it throwwn at me that I daren't put it out yet!!!!

 

Sorry all - self pitying again!!

 

Gail

[Tally]

Gail, you are having a hard time, I think you are completely entitled to feel self-pitying (and lots of other things too)!

 

I hope tomorrow goes peacefully.

 

T x

[baddad]

dog or nothing... nothing then

If she's not gonna be happy with whatever you give her, don't worry if what you give her doesn't make her happy - some things just 'is', IYKWIM.

 

Have the best day you can, and one day you'll get the thank you

 

L&P

 

BD <'>

[Bard]

<'> <'>

 

I've got a 16 year old. NT.

Do you have many friends with teens? You will find that if they are honest, all will have some story of how close they came to digging a very deep hole at the bottom of the garden in the dead of night.

Everyone reaches this point at some stage, whatever you do or don't do is wrong, you are selfish and inconsiderate and everyone else's parents let them...(insert demand of your choice)

Sometimes the metamorphic stage between child and adult is brief, sometimes it goes on for a long, long time. You will both survive it, and eventually she will emerge as someone you don't mind sharing space with.

I tend to cope by seeing the insanity and laughing, making light and trying not to take things to heart.

It's so easy to feel guilty, and that every other parent is getting it right. And then you feel angry that everything is a fight all the time, and that it's not fair that life is so hard and demanding.

You are being attacked because you are the closest, and you are not only her support but also the one who has to lay down the law. Her dad is Mr Fantasy Man, if she lived with him all the time, I'm betting that the negative stuff would be flying his way (if he did the parenting bit properly).

At one point my daughter made an extensive list of all the reasons and evidence why she must have been adopted, and waited for her real, nicer family to find her and claim her.

I am helped by my mother who is always on hand to remind me what an evil, inconsiderate, aggressive, thin-skinned and intolerant harpy I was as a teen.

Now we live 5 mins from each other, and she's wonderful and a companion of choice when I go out.

I'm amazed that she's still talking to me.

So, loads of sympathy, virtual tissues, listening ears. This is one of the downsides of having a teen. Just like erratic feeding patterns and dirty nappies and screaming without words was at an earlier stage of her life. It will pass, honestly. <'>

[Pets74]

what bard said

 

I am NT and 33 and still waiting for my real family to come and claim me back.

 

seriously hope it gets better, <'>

[pearl]

Wise words, Bard.

Mine is 23 & can still undermine me like no one else can.

But she is sloooooowly improving.

[Bard]

If we didn't love them, and they love us it wouldn't hurt so much when you are under attack.

It's just about the only thing that can get through my armour!

[Nic m]

Hope your day was ok

best wishes

nicola