Having wobbles over tribunal

[Flora]

the tribunal isn't going to be until next March, and to be honest I've been so wrapped up and one track minded about gathering evidence from professionals that I haven't given a great deal of thought to what happens if we lose This evening I had one of those awful paronoid waves, which felt like a premonition, that the case will be dismissed and it made me realise that other than throw myself off a cliff (only kidding.. I think!) I don't have a proper back up plan. Bill really really can NOT go back into mainstream and I know for a fact that I can't teach him myself and other than his obsessional interests he's not motivated to learn independently. If there was GCSE, A levels and degrees in the past, present and future of 'gaming' he'd be on to a winner...

 

I'm scared... really really really scared.

 

Flora

[Clare63]

Awwwwww Flora,

<'> <'> <'>

Your fears only natural and the future seems so daunting. especially when we can't foresee what is going to happen. You have got to remain strong and positive, you are building such a comprehensive case, you are planning to win not to fail. For me I think my back up plan would be "be ready to fight again" as you say Bill really can't go back in mainstream and Home Ed isn't quite right, you just gotta keep fighting until you make them see sense.

 

As you know I am in simular situation, though quite a bit behind you and can see its a long and rocky road.

 

Would be great would n't it if they did GCSE's etc in Gaming my son too would be on a winner.

 

Keep up your chin up, you can and will succeed.

 

Clare x x x

Edited November 8, 2007 by Clare63

[smiley]

Hi Flo,

 

Gawd do i recognise that feeling!! It's horrible <'>

It sounds very cliche - but the best i've come up with is 'One step at a time'. If i worry about what might happen - i'll probably miss what is happening.

 

<'> <'>

Edited November 9, 2007 by smiley

[Kathryn]

Flora,

 

I recognise this feeling too - have been in its clutches many times.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Fear can be paralysing when you think too far ahead and try to get your head around the "what ifs". It's easy for me to say don't think about it - far more difficult to do when you're in the middle of it.

 

Our battle for help for L took us down an entirely different route from the one I hoped for or expected and at the time, when what I'd been working for didn't happen, i.e. L not getting her statement, I was in a panic and couldn't see a way out of the mess at all. Now, two years on, the situation is very different - I have a daughter who enthused about learning again and wanting to do A levels. I could never have envisaged that two years ago, or the process which would lead her to that point.

 

You can't predict what will happen and you can only throw your energy into preparing for the immediate task ahead - succeeding at Tribunal. But what I'm trying to say is, (and not very well !) I believe there is always a way forward, even if it's not the one originally envisaged and even when it looks like everything has gone pearshaped.

 

Of course I'm hoping and praying that in the end your worry will prove groundless and there will be no need for a plan B.

 

Stay strong <'>

 

K x

[BusyLizzie100]

the tribunal isn't going to be until next March, and to be honest I've been so wrapped up and one track minded about gathering evidence from professionals that I haven't given a great deal of thought to what happens if we lose This evening I had one of those awful paronoid waves, which felt like a premonition, that the case will be dismissed and it made me realise that other than throw myself off a cliff (only kidding.. I think!) I don't have a proper back up plan. Bill really really can NOT go back into mainstream and I know for a fact that I can't teach him myself and other than his obsessional interests he's not motivated to learn independently. If there was GCSE, A levels and degrees in the past, present and future of 'gaming' he'd be on to a winner...

 

I'm scared... really really really scared.

 

Flora

 

Flora, this is quite eerie because I've been having exactly the same thoughts this evening, logged on to the forum, and yours is the first post I read! In fact, I was just turning to my husband to ask: 'What if the place at the independent school is no longer available, even if we win?' when I thought I'd keep my mouth shut and seek some solace here. Wow!

 

Our tribunal will also take place in March, and we too are gathering as much professional evidence as possible. Today I've been thinking: 'That's so far away, how am i going to be able to wait without going nuts!' And, of course, there's my son. He's just going to have to hang on, too.

 

It's such an emotional roller coaster, isn't it. One minute I'm thrilled to have a really detailed report outlining all my son's difficulties, then I'm so depressed at reading about all my son's difficulties that I have to go and hide under the duvet for a bit. For the professionals involved it's exactly that, a profession or a job, whether they're the goodies or the baddies, but for us parents it's all so emotional. Take one step at a time and be ready to fight again are excellent pieces of advice and, in the meantime,

I guess we have to try and acknowledge the whole emotional process and allow for those emotional tsunamis when they occur. Then we can get up, dust ourselves down and get on with the next bit.

 

Hope you're feeling a little steadier this evening, Flora. You are very definitely not alone <'> <'> <'> <'> .

 

Lizzie xxx

[Flora]

Lizzie <'> <'> <'>

 

Thank you so much for that; it makes it feel a whole less lonelier knowing there's someone going through the exact same thing at the same time!!!

 

I'll be routing for you Lizzie along with myself!

 

I've sent you a pm.

 

flora X

[Bard]

Lizzie <'> <'> <'>

 

Thank you so much for that; it makes it feel a whole less lonelier knowing there's someone going through the exact same thing at the same time!!!

 

I'll be routing for you Lizzie along with myself!

 

I've sent you a pm.

 

flora X

 

Can't help as I don't know anything about this field, but at least you're not alone, whatever happens! <'>

[JsMum]

Hi Flora, I think the reason your panicing to a back up plan is because your instincts knows too well that for your son there isnt really no other alternative, if his placement isnt granted then its going to be a hell of a journey, make this clear in your tribunal that by having the spercific support your sons life will be transformed and a much better prospects for him, I can not look into HOME Ed for same reasons you have given, plus I am a sole parent, and I am sure if you thought this was an option you would do it, so I would just really spell it out that the reason you have no back up plan is quite simply there is not one because the best provision is this specific school that you want him to go to.

 

 

I am going to visit some secondary mainstream and taking my camera to display the kind of areas my son would be vulnerable in and where I feel his needs will not be met.

 

 

Place all your energy on the key that will change your sons life and worry about the failing bit after if it happens.

 

Have you got any support in the tribunal (ipsea, nas, SEN helplines ect....)

 

Be strong and dont give up, that is what the LEA want you to do, so dont let them win before you have even got in the tribunal.

 

go get them, and give the panel the picture that this is the best solution for your child.

 

JsMum.

[Flora]

Thanks to everyone who posted on this thread for your words of support and encouragement.

 

Kathryn, thank you... I know how hard (well have an idea) things were for your daughter and to hear how well she's doing now gives me real hope for Bill's future.

 

Jsmum..... what a fantastic post... I really appreciate it... It's those sort of responses that make the support on this forum espeically valuable and inspiring.... gives me the strength to keep going. <'>

 

flora XX