2008 Is The Year

[Tally]

I am gonna SORT MYSELF OUT and GET WELL

 

I have the names and numbers of 19 counsellors/therapists, and I am going to call them and try to find someone who thinks they can help, and is interested in the long haul. Or I might chicken out and email. I've been diagnosed with #### and ######## and labelled as non-co-operative and defiant, and I just want to work out what is wrong and then start fixing it.

 

It's complicated by being an aspie. I need to learn how to discuss my feelings/thoughts/emotions before they can expect me to do that. I don't want them trying to break my routines and interests, try to teach me to make eye contact, or pressure me into excessive social contact, because that will be very damaging.

[Karen A]

Hi Tally <'> <'> I do not know that I have AS so I know it is a bit different for you finding the right person.However I wanted to say that if you can find a good therapist it is worth it- especially if you are prepared for the long haul.I am seven years into that long haul.[My life has been rather complicated ] but it was the best thing I ever did.

It is worth taking your time to find somone you are happy with. <'> <'> Karen.

[Kathryn]

Good luck Tally. I hope that among those 19, there is one who is right for you.

 

<'>

 

K x

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

go tally

 

i have over time had various differing councelling bits

but it never made sense

the last lot did

if i were you, i would write out what you think you need and how you need it to be doen for you to be comfy and make sure everyone you enquire about has a copy?

good luck

x

[Tally]

I am trying to write a letter now, just an original enquiry. It's really hard to write it without launching into a rant about the uselessness of the 'help' I have had so far, or writing an essay to teach them about AS. But they need to understand why things haven't helped in the past and about AS before they can help. But then they don't need to know everything yet.

[TheNeil]

Finding someone who's understanding is a nightmare. God knows, finding someone who even knows what AS is and how it affects different people differently (please take note Harrogate Hospital's Psychology Department - you know who and what you are...you just don't know what Aspies are ).

 

I hope you find someone who 'gets it' Tally but, if not I can PM you the address of someone who might be able to help. She's pretty clued up and actually knows and understand AS and, more importantly, Aspies (i.e. she hasn't just read a book or watched Crimewatch)(please take note BBC, we never forget ).

[Tally]

I know it's going to be really hard to find someone who knows about AS, and whether I could afford them is yet another matter! I'm wondering if the 2nd best option is to find someone who knows nothing about AS, and admits they know nothing about AS. What they really need to be able to do is distinguish between symptoms that are inherently BAD and I want rid of, and symptoms that just are, even if they do seem weird. I think a major part of my problems are social anxiety, and you can blame most of AS on social anxiety if you try hard enough. Not being able to make eye contact, not knowing what to say to someone, repetitive movements, obsessive/routine type stuff can all be caused by social anxiety, but in my case it is not, and they do need to be able to work out the difference, or trust me to know myself.

[Kathryn]

"Someone who knows about AS" could be just as ineffective as someone who knows nothing IMO. They could be slapping the AS label on you every time you express anything negative. Everyone is different. You really need someone who is prepared to listen to you as an individual, without preconceptions.

 

I think it's important to look for a therapist with a good pedigree. I'm declaring a bias here, as my dh is a clinical psychologist, but the training is pretty rigorous and lengthy and well regulated (although not nearly as well paid as it should be, thanks to all the medics who are bleeding the NHS dry ). Anyone can do a short "counselling" course and then be let loose on the public - alas.

 

K x

[Karen A]

Hi.I agree with Kathryn that you do not need a lot of training to say you are a counsellor

.The BACP hold a list of counsellors and psychotherapists who meet the standard required to join the association.The BACP have a web-site which includes details of therapists in private practice.The therapists registered with BACP may not have experience of ASD but they will come within an organisation with a regulatory framework.

I also agree that if you find a counsellor/therapist with an open mind who treats you as an individual knowledge of AS is not the most important thing-especially when you have a knowledge of AS.There would be nothing wrong with saying''That is an AS part of me that I do not wish to change''.A good therapist would respect that.Karen.

[Tally]

I got my list from the BACP

[Karen A]

I got my list from the BACP

[Tally]

Does this seem a sensible introductory email to send, just to suss them out and see what they think? I'm worried it's too long or sounds stroppy teenagerish.

 

I am seeking psychotherapy to help me understand and overcome a number of psychological difficulties. I originally sought treatment for depression 8 years ago. I have seen several CPNs over the years, tried medication and attended group therapy. Nothing has been helpful. I have now been discharged from the Community Mental Health Team. I do not think it would be helpful to be referred back to them.

 

In May 2007 I was finally diagnosed with Asperger?s Syndrome, a type of Autistic Spectrum Condition, a lifelong learning difficulty. I am looking for a counsellor or psychologist who can help me to identify what symptoms are part of a mental illness which need to be eliminated, which are traits of autism which are causing me difficulties, and which are traits of autism or coping mechanisms which need to be left intact, even though they may appear strange. Becoming normal would be an unrealistic aim, but I would like to be a healthy, happy, autistic adult.

 

People on the autistic spectrum often find it difficult to detect and verbalise their feelings, and process emotions more slowly. Before I am able to discuss my feelings, I need help learning how to do this.

[Karen A]

Hi Tally.I have had a couple of glasses of wine so may sleep on this and add more tom.

 

However I come with the wisdom of one who probably had what may well be called ''mental illness'' .Alas I am still living with lots of things..despite an excellent therapist.Perhaps I am a bad case. : It has become more about living with bits that are a bit quirky and that being ok.

I think perhaps counsellors or psychotherapists may feel that to eliminate the bits you see as mental ilness is expecting a lot. <'> <'>

How about something like ''I am an adult who has AS who finds some things difficult .I am keen to work on the things that I find difficult that I would like to change whether they are AS related or not.However there are some parts of me that I believe are part of being AS and I would like to find a therapist who can respect me as I am and not push me to work on things I don't wish to change.''

 

I hope that helps. <'> <'> Karen.

[Karen A]

Hi again I forgot to say the rest looks fine to me,not too long or stroppy at all.

[Tally]

I wasn't happy with that bit either. Your suggestion is much better. Thank you!

[Karen A]

I wasn't happy with that bit either. Your suggestion is much better. Thank you!

 

Glad that it was helpful.Karen.

[Mumble]

AS isn't a learning difficulty. Reading this/having this 'understanding' may affect the way people treat you.