ASue67 Report post Posted December 30, 2007 Sorry about this but I just need to have a moan and get things off my chest............ am so exhausted having been with the boys on my own all christmas. My ex hasn't seen the boys for 4 months now and I have been trying to sort things out through my solicitor and mediation. My ex refused to believe that the boys are upset when they go and I was just trying to sort out a reduction in the time they saw him (not to stop them going) to try to make things a bit better for the boys but my ex says it is all my fault and nothing is wrong with the boys and the boys are afraid to upset me so they are going along with what I say............ He has accused me of having munchausens (sp?) by proxy in relation to me trying to get help and support for M and getting his dx. He won't accept M's dx at all and just says he needs to be forced to do things and socialise and it will sort him out. I desperately need a break from the boys as I have M.E. and the stress and lack of sleep at the moment is making my M.E. much worse. I can recognise all the signs of me getting really ill again but can't do anything about it cos I have no family support and am unable to get respite for M to give me a break. Have got added problems now as M's weight has shot up in the last 12 months. He know weighs nearly 9 stone and he is not yet 9. Am seeing a paediatrician about it and am going back again in March when they may do some blood tests etc to see what is happening. Am seeing the dietician with him at the end of Jan. He doesn't eat excessively but he won't go out and play. He gets teased and bullied quite a lot and I find it hard to try to encourage him to get active. he won't even go on the trampoline in the garden. I also think he might have OCD? He is getting so obsessed and stressed about mess and places being untidy. If I have eaten something I have to wash my hands before I can touch him. Yesterday we went to a friend's house for an informal get together. M was stressed about going but I had prepared him enough so he was able to cope. But he freaked about getting bits on his socks from the floor, then someone touched him who had eaten some food from the buffet and he was getting distressed and he wouldn't eat anything except food I took and sorted out. When we got home he stripped off in the hall as soon as we got through the front door and insisted I took him up for a bath to get rid of all the mess and the smells. This is just one example of how he is but it is starting to concern me alot. Sorry for rambling on.................... have got so much going on in my head and so many things that I need to sort out that I don't know whether I am coming or going Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted December 30, 2007 Hi it is tuff going on your own, in each others pocket as they say, what about just a walk along a river bank or a seaside just to get some freshair with your son, that way its not really socialising but gets you both out, I love the seaside in winter, very refreshing. I am sorry to hear about your husbands accusations but I am sure he must have that wrong because normally its conditions that are medical procedures, for munchhousen syndrome not something such as Autism, maybe he has a real difficulty excepting that his son does indeed have a difficulty and he cant accept it as it may make other people say something about him or blame him, I really wouldnt listen to what he says about your intentions of a diagnosis, what matters is that your supporting your son, and with his insistance on making him do things may be why your son gets upset at his fathers becuase his father is not compensating for the difficulties your son has and riducles instead making your son possibly feel anxious which may be why the OCD has intensified because he wants control and at his dads he hasnt got any. OCD and Anxiety are very connectable. Have you had any assessments to look at respite, I would ask for an assessment on disabilty for the both of you. I hope that today gets a bit better, hugs and some TLC. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rainbow queen Report post Posted December 30, 2007 dont let your ex dictate to you............. im a single mum of 2 so know how hard it all is................my boys dad was abusive to me ....hed call me mental and crazy....ect....we was together 5 years and split up when my eldest was 2...........we tryed to do the whole contact thing but it never worked out -in the end all contact was stopped.............. when i look back i feel very angry about it all -as he has managed to get away with no responsability at all towards our children...........and my children have lost all contact with his side of the family...............which has pretty much left me to get on with everything myself with hardly any breaks-i also have depression..... at times it feels like you can not cope much more...........try and get more support for yourself and your children and keep on pushing for it. my nephew has as and tourettes and ocd-his brother has real bad ocd.so i would deffo say its all connected, my youngest shows ocd behaviour too ,though hes not dx......but he does the handwashing and germs thing...........and cleans up and collects bits paper ect ect........... please go to your gp and request your ocd son be given help or assesment-and also tell them how u need more support maybe through ss and whatever else is on offer in your area.......... i myself struggle and am having probs getting the help........im ringing up the nas on wed to ask for help with things..........,i also write lots of letters as im not good at getting my point across in person -i find that can help u alot .....post them out to all concerned ect......stating your situation.......... rq xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ASue67 Report post Posted December 30, 2007 Thanks both of you for your replies. I seem to spend my whole time fighting battles to get anything sorted and it is draining me completely. CAMHS are hopeless and have given me very little support at all and if I go back to my GP (who is very good) she can't help because she says it has to go through CAMHS (red tape and all that!). Am still fighting to get ESAP funding for M at school (he has been on school action plus for over a year now) so am going to have to go and start putting more pressure on again in January. I appreciate your advise RQ, need to get a bit more focused I think! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
