help please

[sadmum]

Hello everyone, my daughter started primary school, age 5, still wetting & soiling herself, hitting& spitting kids & teachers, school got in touch with B.I.C team, one of the kids my daughter hit parent came to my home started shouting & hitting my hubby, l rang the police, the other parent was giving a fine, l went into the head, told her what happened, she told me it would be best to take my daughter out, with her behaviour, & soiling, l went to my GP with the soiling& wetting they told me l didn?t potty train her properly, put me on a toilet programme, l went back it didn?t work, they sent me to Alderhey, anyway l went on the net the next best school in my area, ring them told them about wetting& soiling, they were fine, she started next week, school got in touch with town hall to ask for extra money to support, town hall said no, so school head told me, my daughter not aloud on school property with me, so mon-fri 845am-3pm l had to say at school in case my daughter wet r soiled, 7 months later, she went into Alderhey, they put her on a reward card, guess what it didn?t work, when she was in school she didn?t make friends, other kids took the mikey, saying she smelled of poo. she was soooo sad, l did everything l could, she was now in year1 she could not read or write, l went to have a word with the SEN, l asked for steps to assess her, they came back saying she has problems with words sounds, reading writing, they give school a programme to work with her. it was a nightmare. l just had an enough, l took her out of school, Alderhey put her on ADHD programme, but because she was out of school, they asked me could she go back into Alderhey, l said yes. so they told me it would be for 2 weeks, they noticed thing l didn?t, like see only sleeps a few hours, she constantly brushes her fridge, and the violence to me & her dad, other parents started to complain, about her, so the pedestrian, said she has seen enough, she can go home after 4 days in hospital. the pedestrian said she was showing signs off learning difficulties, aspersers, was asking the BICS team to test her cognitive ability, reasoning, visual learning, it went ok, got the results back and it said, she was below standard, on everything, she got a special needs statement, she was giving a place in a special needs unit, she meet the new paediatrician for 10 min in school last April when she first started the school, l found out about about the meeting in a review meeting, l was really upset that the school or the paediatrician never told me before the meeting, don?t get me wrong l didn?t mind, as a parent l would of liked to have been in formed. l have never had a meeting with this new paediatrician, last year she seen my daughter for 10 mins that was that. l has rang her office that many times me & her secretary are on first name terms. she is 9 this year, what do l do please help , l feel l have just left to get on with it, her doctors not ring back my daughter still not sleeping still hitting me and my hubby, my life upside down were can l get help please

Edited January 10, 2008 by sadmum

[stressedmumto2]

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it and welcome to the forum.

 

I think you will get lots of helpful advice, I have in the time I have been here, so keep coming back with questions asking for advice etc.

 

I think it's wrong that you have not bene informed that your daughter was going to be seen and if I were in your position I think I would be writing a letter to all involved in the care of your daughter stating that you would like to be kept fully informed in anything relating to your daughter, appointments in school, review, ask for minutes of the meetings of annual reviews etc. Send the same letter out to everyone.

 

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time, has your daughter actually been given a formal diagnosis and what is it if you don't mind me asking because this is what you need to know when you want to start accessing help and support.

 

Have a look on the National Autistic Society website, they have loads of useful information explaining how to get help from s/s if you were looking into getting some kind of respite, my son has respite a few hours a week and it does help to get a break from him, but what you would need to do first is ask s/s to do a core assessment, on the NAS site I am sure they have info and pre-written draft letters.

 

Understanding your daughters condition is part of the key to helping her and helping yourselfs as a family and it sees to me like you have been left pretty much in the dark about her difficulties and how these will affect her, which is why I think it will be great if you keep posting concerns etc.

 

I haven't got much more advice at the mo' feeling a bit down myself and not feeling very well so my head is working that great!!

 

Take care and I am sure some other helpfulpeople will be along with some great advice><

[rainbow queen]

<'> >< <'> >< <'>

 

welcome sadmum -im sure you will lots of info on this forum to help you...........and lots of advice .XXX

[sadmum]

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult time, has your daughter actually been given a formal diagnosis and what is it if you don't mind me asking because this is what you need to know when you want to start accessing help and support.

 

the first doctor said asperger, dyslexia,adhd,cognative problems, wetting, soiling. them we moved doctors she said she going back to the begining,testing her again its been going on for 4 years now

[Karen A]

Hi Sadmum.Sorry it has been such a long and difficult time for you getting any support. <'>

If your DS is in a specialist unit then it may be worth finding out whether the unit are able to provide you with some support such as a parent support worker or access to a parent support group.Karen.