dx-anniversary

[Mumble]

It's my dx-anniversary today (and my forum-iversary tomorrow - paaarrrtttttaaaayyy ) - the question is, how am I supposed to feel? It's really quite weird - in some ways it doesn't feel like a year at all (I guess because I'm still fighting for adjustments and support) but in other ways it feels waaay more than a year (which I guess is true - the dx wasn't when I started being autistic, it's just when I got a label for my behaviours).

 

How have others felt (either yourself or with your kids) a year into dx? What I have been able to do, and it's taken a good 8 - 10 months - is accept myself and who I am far more and see that the issues aren't just me but a two-way issue surrounding communication of wants and needs. I understand why I do things the way I do, why I need things in a certain way, why I don't get the enjoyment that other students seem to get from getting drunk and clubbing till the sun-rises the next morning, and now I'm OK with that - I can say to myself, well they enjoy that, I don't, I enjoy things they don't, and that's OK. I don't think all other students get this, but then there's not a huge amount I can do about that other than be at peace with my own decision.

 

My relationship with my sister has improved dramatically - she is wonderfully supportive, pushes me enough but usually recognises when to stop - my mother doesn't get it at all, but then you have to decide which battles are worth fighting and which short term situations are better just endured. I would love for her to understand, but I can also accept that it's unlikely to happen. Now I know more about autism, I do regret not having developed a relationship with my brother (ASD) - but I don't know how to go about doing that now, and truth be told, although it's hard to say, he's probably not aware that there's a relationship there that should have been developed.

 

I still have many many things I want to work on, but I think everyone does, ASD or not, but I do think I can see things more positively for the future now (of course there's many many things that scare the hell out of me), BUT the big difference is that instead of looking at past difficulties, for instance loosing jobs/relationships, and saying "well that's just going to happen again because I'm a bad person" (I had no way of understanding why things happened), I can analyse the ways in relation to me and my AS, use my strengths and find support for my weaknesses. In some ways, although I'm the same person, the dx has given me a fresh slate with which to view the world, a way of understanding and making sense of what has gone before so I can use it to move forward. Yes there are people out there who are prejudiced, but I suspect they will be anyway, and not just about AS. The people (outside of people who's job it is) who know about my AS have, on the whole, been supportive and have helped me move forward. The dx has given others the understanding that has helped me so much in making sense of who I am.

 

I don't think this ramble has much point - I suppose I'm saying, especially for older children and adults dx'ed, there will always be bad days, but long-term the DX has given me and others something really powerful to work with. It's a strange feeling today to think that although nothing actually changed in who I am a year ago, a lot did change, if that makes any sense.

[Tally]

I feel kind of similar about my diagnosis (although it hasn't been a year yet). I suppose the anniversary is a time that will throw up a lot of emotions about it.

[bid]

I think you are 'supposed' to feel exactly however you do feel, IYSWIM!!

 

I don't think there are any hard and fast rules..it's all a long journey of self-awareness, I guess.

 

Bid <'>

 

Ooooh, just realised tomorrow will be my 6 month dx anniversary!

[Guest Lya of the Nox]

you are all just you

diag or not

<'>

[kellyanne]

you are all just you

diag or not

<'>

 

I have to agree with you lya.

 

:)

[llisa32]

Hi - I love this post!! - you sound really positive about what the future might hold which is great and a real inspiration

 

More importantly you come across as being content with yourself <'>

 

You've had a real 'journey' in the last year, but a year down the line I think you're much more confident being 'you' than before.

 

I hope my J grows up to be as determined to strive for his goals as you! <'>

[pearl]

Lovely post Mumble <'>

I can barely remember the time before JP's dx - thats the difference I suppose, he has grown up with it & has never known any different, though we told him when he was 10 so I suppose that was the start of him understanding himself.

 

It must be amazing to be dx'd as an adult & have that lightbulb moment.

And its been a real privilege to share your joys & sorrows, triumphs & setbacks over this last year.