Just dont know what to do anymore

[bjkmummy]

story so far:- ben is aspergers aged 6 statemented and in a school with asd unit attahced and doing fab!

 

joe - aged 4 - much more in my opinion on the spectrum than ben. joe was in a special needs nursery 2 days a week as felt he was on the spectrum. he was doing well, interention working, speech improving etc.

 

then something happened - never quite worked out what but the salt and teacher at the school decided 'unlikely joe would be on the spectrum' he was bright maybe gifted and placement immeadiately ended. joe returned to aminstream nursery full time

 

wanted to send joe to bens school but told no as he wont get transport so have to send him to local school with appaling record for children with aspergers.

 

mainstream nursery rubbish - dont support joe just ignore the issues.

 

anyway joe is also a twin to keira. shes in the same nursery and have managed to keep them apart but as my hand being forced to send them to school together in sept asked in january to put joe and keira back together for just 2 mornings.

 

now all hell boken loose!!! joe been seen by area senco and she was appalled at how much joe relapsed - he doesnt make eye contact, no social skills, eats anything he can get in his mouth etc etc - now been referred to ed psych who will see joe in 10 days time

 

keira has come home and has started to talk about how joe is affecting her at school. went into nursery today and they admitted that joe is making keiras life hell - he is now relying on her so much that its affecting her - he sits on her in circle time, bites her , pushes her, wont allow her to play with other children, is controlling in class etc etc but its only cos i asked today how joe is that the nursery told me this - it was different key worker to who he usually has

 

i just dont know what to do - i want joe to go to bens school but without a statement or dx im buggered. keira is now really suffering - she has one brother dx and then joe. i have followed the 'professionals' advice and its in danger of blowing my family apart as joe is not coping and soon neither will keria.

 

me and dh have had a major row tonight cos im so stressed by it all - he wants to send joe to local school as he feels him breaking down and not coping will be fatest way to statement but why should joe have to suffer to get help??? its agreed he will go into school on school action plus so clearly an issue with him plus they have found funding for him to have a longer transition

 

ive spoken to bens school and though they happy to have him, they have been honest and siad without a statement joe will get help but not to the degree ben has had. im just so fed up of it all and i feel so let down by everybody at the special needs nursery who withdrew his place - he is clearly a child with issues but im going mad thinking that it must be me and all i want is for my children to be happy

[Paula]

My son is now 14 and has never been official diagnosed with aspergers syndrome but i know thats whats amis with him.............we just gave up trying to get a diagnosis coz no one could agree and we kept going round and round in cirlces and the stress was too much...............

 

he was however statmented due to what the could agree on learning difficulties he also attended a special nursery placement but against what i wished for he had to go to a mainstream school at 5.............utter disaster..........even though he had assistance one to one for 15 hours a week..............unfortunatly it had to go wrong and he had to suffer and the school realise they couldnt cope before theyd listen adn support me in getting him into a special school..................Hes been there ever since.

 

 

 

Thing is because my son is at a special school hes doing brilliant,he may even be entered for some gcses when the times right and there talking about him attending college one day a week in september...............but this acheivment is only because hes in a special school it would be so easy for someone to say well hes ok he could go to mainstrea....but that would undo years of work on the teachers part and my sons part and he would regress...............

 

 

Maybe youll have to let it go wrong........................then theyll listen...............or maybe you could kick up a almighty stink...............i cant believe one salt teacher can make a decision like this on her own...........

 

Good luck

Edited March 27, 2008 by Paula