One step forward then a giant leap back!

[stressedmum]

My ASD son (11 yrs old) has started wanting some independence in the bathroom which is a bit of a pain because he doesn't manage anything to do with hygiene very well still but it's also sort of good that he is wanting some independence (if that makes sense).

Anyway, Tuesday night he went into the bathroom, locked the door behind him and found a bottle of bright blue semi permanent hair dye that my daughter had forgotten to take out of the bathroom. I thought he was taking a while so asked him to open the door and when he opened it he was bright blue from head to foot. There wasn't any visible skin at all, he even dyed his eyes. We ended up at casualty to get his eyes sorted He hasn't done anything like this for a long time.

Also in the last couple of days, he's started making a hell of a lot more mess than he normally does. He's decided to start looking for things that he's had no interest in for years but he throws everything over his shoulder as he goes along then walking off and leaving trails of destruction behind him

Again, this is something he hasn't been so bad with for a long time. I should be clearing up these trails now instead of sitting on the computer but I keep looking at it all at the moment and don't know where to start so I'm just going to leave everything where it is for now.

Does anybody else have times like this where their children just take a massive leap backwards or is it just me?

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

Sharon

[mariaterisa]

My ASD son (11 yrs old) has started wanting some independence in the bathroom which is a bit of a pain because he doesn't manage anything to do with hygiene very well still but it's also sort of good that he is wanting some independence (if that makes sense).

Anyway, Tuesday night he went into the bathroom, locked the door behind him and found a bottle of bright blue semi permanent hair dye that my daughter had forgotten to take out of the bathroom. I thought he was taking a while so asked him to open the door and when he opened it he was bright blue from head to foot. There wasn't any visible skin at all, he even dyed his eyes. We ended up at casualty to get his eyes sorted He hasn't done anything like this for a long time.

Also in the last couple of days, he's started making a hell of a lot more mess than he normally does. He's decided to start looking for things that he's had no interest in for years but he throws everything over his shoulder as he goes along then walking off and leaving trails of destruction behind him

Again, this is something he hasn't been so bad with for a long time. I should be clearing up these trails now instead of sitting on the computer but I keep looking at it all at the moment and don't know where to start so I'm just going to leave everything where it is for now.

Does anybody else have times like this where their children just take a massive leap backwards or is it just me?

Thanks for reading my ramblings.

Sharon

 

hi there Sharon

have just read your post with a mixture of laughter,pain,empathy for you and understanding.....for it must have been a living horror story for you when episodes like this happen.....yes..i think that tht is all u can do to preserve your mental state...WALK AWAY....hide.....have a brew.......charlie ,my aspi..is coming up for 6 and so am not witnessing ths yet from him...although when he gets angry he will hurt himself.....he is strong for his age....and so i am worried for the future if his strength continues from strength to strength so to speak......but the irony is sharon...i have 2 other boys..one 13, and one 19 yr old...he is at uni now and what i am saying is that both these 2 have not ever been diagnosed yet as teenagers do strange things and have baffled me with the things they have got up to in private!! and as for mess...well.....isnt that par for course....my middle sons room smells funny,despite my cleaning in there twice a week...a mish mash of wrappers,old food,discarded underwear...ps2 games not working..just nonchallantly tossed in various hidden corners......hair dyimg.......age apt.....the 13 yr old has just done this...schwarzcoph platinim blond....without even telling me...did it at a friends...ye Gods.....is there a parent island where just parents can escape to...maria xx

[purplehaze]

Hello, YES YES YES my son often takes leaps backwards and I always feel it's after he has done so well for a while.

 

My son is 14 and I give him independence as much as I can (which is very hard at times). When he comes out of the bathroom I always wonder what I will find (wee all over the toilet, poo on the floor in the bath, soggy tissue stuck to the ceiling, no toilet paper in the toilet after a poo or the toilet blocked with paper after a poo and the list goes on).

 

I find that giving him things to do in the bath helps (goggles, scuba mask & mouth piece, spray soap, wind up toys).

 

I know exactly what you mean about hygiene my son just doesn't see the point, hate the taste of toothpaste but you have to encourage them to be independent. My son also leaves everything lying around the house and makes a mess everywhere he goes in the house, I just leave it and ask him to pick it up, he protests but will do it (although he has no idea how to tidy so it's a struggle not to say leave it i'll do it).

 

The hardest leap backwards to deal with are behavioural ones for me.

 

Goodluck

[dooday24]

yeah reece is the same just 2day hes started pUtting his food on the floor and eating it liike a dog hasnt done it for ages

 

donnaxxxxxxx

[stressedmum]

Thanks for the replies you three It's good to know we're not alone.

I was about to start sorting out the chaos a few minutes ago but he started heading towards the bathroom again. I asked him why he was going and he said he was going to find out if clay floats I've managed to head that one off and have now got him sitting quietly on the living room floor with his collection of crazy bones while I have another calming cup of coffee.

[pearl]

I know its awful at the moment, but in the future, the day your son dyed himself blue will be a well repeated & loved family story - we had a similar incident with fluorescent green nail varnish, (also ended up in casualty), ten years down the line it dont seem so bad now <'>

[stressedmum]

Meant to add, the hair dye incident wasn't funny at the time but I can't help but have the odd giggle now because it was like seeing a naked smurf

[dooday24]

hope he is okay now is he still blue??

 

love donnaxxxx

[stressedmum]

Yes, he's still pretty blue (we're getting some very strange looks when we're out and about!). Thankfully his eyes are starting to get better now, no thanks to the hospital though. When we got to casualty they said we had to go straight to eye casualty but when we got there it had shut for the night and had a sign on the door saying to go to the eye ward. We got to the eye ward and ended up waiting for over an hour before anybody would even look at him, we only got seen then because I grabbed a passing doctor and had a major rant about chemicals in eyes and the possibility of blindness so he went onto the ward to speak to them and they were grotty with him too but then they told us to go in a few minutes later. Needless to say I've sent a letter of complaint to the chief executive of the hospital and hopefully they'll get a rocket up the backside because there were other people waiting aswell and they were being treated the same as we were

[harmony]

what a nightmare, a blue son, but blue is a great colour, In this house all the boys are big chelsea fans so your son would have been held in highest regard, now if it had been red..............................

I so empathise about the mess. my daughter with AS is 12, I have never seen or smelt a more disgusting festering pit as her room. I cleaned it yesterday before work, and after she had gone to school, I won't go in to what yucky things I found lurking, but they wern't nice! It was fairly ok when I left it, but went into it half an hour ago, and it was a complete state again. She has only been in from school for an hour, how can she turn it in to chaos in that amount of time heaven knows!

DD cut her hair last term, her lovely soft curls chopped off in to a rather bizare spiked top style, she cried for days said she hadn't wanted to do it but just did. I expect that kind of thing from a 5 yr old but not from someone her age. Sometimes I want to scream, but we all have to deal with this kind of stuff, and is great that everyone on the forum knows how it is, and understands without question.

harmony x

[stressedmum]

Thanks Harmony, I'll send him over so your boys can use him as a mascot

I can sympathise about the hair cutting, we've had that happen a few times too. The last time he did it he looked a right state, then his sister decided to do me a favour and chopped a bit more off for him. He wasn't happy with the results so the next day he chopped some more off and ended up with several bald patches! I thought I'd had the scissors really well hidden but obviously not well enough.

[pearl]

When JP was about 6, I took S away for the weekend & left Mr p in charge of him. He found a pair of nail scissors, and using the chrome of his bed as a mirror, chopped half of his hair off, right down to the scalp (JP that is, not Mr p)

 

So Mr p had to chop the rest off & finish the job, hissing at him as he did it, "you know I'll get the blame for this dont you?" I burst into tears when I came home & saw my little shorn lamb.

 

Several of the mums at school told me later they hadnt liked to ask in case he was having chemo!

[hev]

i still have to watch steve in bathroom as he has phases of shaving his eyebrows completely off he wont do it for ages and i will think its a thing of the past then out he comes with no eyebrows and chopped hair