Hello,newbie here

[Abby]

I am here as I need some info about Aspergers

I know a little but need to know more...

I think my son and my sister both have Aspergers but dont know what to do next.

My teenage sister is in denial and my son is too young to understand about it all.They both fit the criteria but are very very different in many ways.They both have a lack social skills,my sister doesnt really speak,I mean she can speak but doesnt seem to know how to hold a normal conversation and only speaks to her mates about teen stuff,her mates are all younger than her and she still seems very childish compared to them,she cant seem to do anything for herself,doesnt know how to ask for things,i.e.asking for something in a shop,still needs help with washing her hair and cooking etc,she goes into trance like states when you are speaking to her,like she is ignoring you,everyone gets annoyed with her but I dont know if she is doing it for attention or if she really does goes somewhere else in her head.

My son is similar in that he cant do anything for himself or organise himself,he gets into trouble at school for messing about,being disruptive and shouting out answers when it isnt his turn.

He is very easily led and if he thinks he is making his mates laugh he will go OTT with that until he gets caught and told off.He is on a school action plan becasue he has always had problems at all schools he has been to.

We didnt get anywhere with CAMHS,they just gave us parenting classes,which were just silly,we know how to manage him at home,its at school he has more problems,they dont understand him,i mentioned Aspergers at CAMHS and they said he doesnt fit the criterai because he uses eye contact and seemed keen to join in the session and chatted alot! I found this absurd to be honest,people with Aspergers do make eye contact,and can talk for England about a subject they are interested in.

My son loves taking things apart and finding out how they work.He talks constantly about his own topics,but wont listen to anything he finds boring,ie,school. or when he is asked to do something that home,like eat his tea,or get out of the bath or put his clothes tidy.

Homework is a huge issue and he get so stressed that we end up leaving it,then he gets into trouble again at school.

My sister has left school and doesnt really seem gifted in any area,didnt do well in her exams,and often appears really dumb,I read once that you have to have a high IQ to have Aspergers,this sounded utter rubbish to me but I need some info about this.

Sorry about the long post,i just let it all out once I got started.

Thankyou for any replies i can get.

[Kathryn]

Hi Abby, welcome to the forum

 

You'll know if you've read the posts here that getting a diagnosis and help at school is often no easy task. It takes a lot of persistence and you may need to ask for a referral elsewhere - the expertise is not always available in Camhs. Are you keeping a diary of the things that concern you about your son?

 

Lots of advice available from the good folk here,

 

K x

[wasuup]

Hi I don't know enough about Aspergers to comment on your son. However your sister does sound as she may have some traits of the condition selective mutism. It is common to seem to freeze up in situations where speech or communication is perceived to be expected. It is common to find risk taking and decision making hard. It is common to choose younger safer friendships. Just like any condition it can vary from seeming quite reluctant to speak and not initiating conversation to complete silence and with whom and where that person can speak freely. The hair washing thing maybe that could be something to do with sensory integration disorder, I don't know? Anyway this site is worth a look at just in case as regards to your sister www.selectivemutism.co.uk

 

Good luck from another newbie

[pearl]

Hi Abby & welcome <'>

You certainly seem more knowledgable about AS than CAMHS! You can be AS with average intelligence.

As your sis is an adult I'm guessing theres not a lot you can do for her except be ready to help if she needs it.

As for your son, as I've just posted to another newbie tonight, if you have these concerns then you should pursue them, maybe with GP or HV initially, sorry if you've already done that.

[Clare63]

Hi Abby and welcome to the forum.

May I suggest you keep a diary/log/record of your son's behaviour as this might prove very useful in the future when trying to obtain a diagnosis. There are so many people on this forumwith a huge range of knowledge I am sure you'll get some helpful input.

 

Clare

[Abby]

Thank you all so much for your replies.

I am always making lists and writing out my concerns about my son,I dont want to forget anything,so always have lots of scrap bits of paper full of stuff about my boy,I then re-write it when we have an appoinment but they always skim over it all and dismiss it.

I cant get my GP or CAMHS to take me seriously,even though he is having difficulties in school and is struggling to the point where he has been threatened by his very young teacher of being put on a report type thing (cant remember the name she called it) which is the step before being expelled!

He isnt a naughty boy,he is very emotional and lovely,he is so sweet and caring and thougtful,he just gets silly and easily led,he never means to and is alwys so sorry afterwards.he is so misunderstood,his teachers think he is being cheeky and answering back when he is only asking a question,such as,teacher will tell him off for doing something and he will correct her and say exactly what he was doing.This appears to be back-chatting but he doesnt mean it like that,he just has to be very precise and factual.AS trait ?

Its so unfair he is being treated like this,I have asked for the school SENCO to ring me to arrange an appoinment and she hasnt bothered so far.I dont want to keep pestering them but I want whats fair for my child.

I havent read many posts here yet,I just took the plunge and posted straight away,will go have a look around and see if I can get some answers to my many questions.

Thanks again.

P.S.Can you be of low intelliengce and still have Apsergers?

I now I cant help my sister if she doesnt want to be helped,but I feel she is a bit lost and alone and I want to help her.

Mum just thinks she is stupid and putting it all on but she seems so sad and gets depressed alot too.

She does such silly things that make mum angry,kids stuff,and laughs at things that arent funny,like her friends upsetting another friend,she seems so childlike at times but she is nearly 20.

[Clare63]

Keep plugging away, as for not wanting to pester the school, well I am afraid you'll have too and anyone else you want to listen to you.

 

You will see when you read all the threads that most of us have to fight for everything, from getting a dx to DLA or a statement. It can be a long and rocky road, some would say like a rollercoaster with many ups and downs, but its worth it and this forum will help you and give you strength to fight on.

 

Your sister is very lucky to have you and I hope too that you find some answers for her, the spectrum is so vast she could fit in there somewhere, at 20 though I guess it will need to come from her but of course with your support. Fairly recently there was a test posted on here which you could complete online and it gave an indication as to whether you might have AS, OCD, ADHD etc its for adults, I am so sorry but I don't know how to do a link, if I find it I will let you know.

 

Clare x x x

[Abby]

Thanks Clare

Is your avatar a picture of your dog?he/she looks really cute,what breed?

[Clare63]

Yep that's my dog....not sure that she looks cute in this picture, I thought it looked so awful I would put it, her big ears make me laugh. She is a cross breed of what sort we are not sure, she is a double rescue and we got her at 5 months old. She is very gentle and Connor loves her to bits, say she is the only one who understands him :wub

 

Clare x x x:

[Abby]

Aww,she does look cute,we had a black Heinz 57 once,lol,he looked a little bit like yours

 

 

hmm,just noticed,why does it say under my username that I am from the Norfok Broads??

Edited May 6, 2008 by Abby

[Kathryn]

Hi Abby,

 

You're not the first person to ask about the Norfolk Broads!

 

See this thread for an explanation.

 

K x

[Abby]

The link isnt working for me,but I have just figured it out-its to do with post count. ooooooohh,and I am now Salisbury Hill,lol

Edited May 7, 2008 by Abby

[Karen A]

Hi Abby Welcome to the Forum. Karen.

[Bagpuss]

Hi Abby and welcome to the forum

[Abby]

Thanks :-)

Bagpuss-K2 eh,the highest mountain in the world yeah?

Edited May 10, 2008 by Abby