A minor misunderstanding

[baddad]

Today we went to a local country park to try out a folding bike we bought... for that reason we only had the one bike, and after some 'doubles' ben took off on his own. He rode to where the bike path veers off from the main path round the lake, then came back. I told him well done for being sensible, and said he could go off on the bike track, but not too far before doubling back to find me...

Twenty minutes later, I'm in a blind panic, 'cos i've reached a fork in the bike path and haven't a clue which way he's gone (several cycle routes intersect, all going off in different directions.)... I'm nervous of going too far in any one direction in case he does double back from another one and misses me, but also don't want to just sit and wait in the assumption that he will double back.

In the end, I take the path I think he's most likely to have followed, and walk along bellowing at the top of my voice and getting more panicky the further I go without a response.

Finally, I see him cycling towards me looking very worried - NOT because he was worried about being lost, but because he'd heard me shouting and thought I might have the hump with him!

After a good dressing down, I said 'I thought i told you not to go too far before doubling back' he said, 'I didn't - I knew where I was'. I said, 'Yes, but i didn't - how was i supposed to know which way you went?' He said that i didn't need to know, 'cos he was coming back to find me. I asked, but how would you know which way I went? Which was the first point he looked confused......

Which just goes to show, no matter how much he appears to have it sussed, and how often he does get it right there is still that gap between intuitive logic and 'processed' logic - and it applies to more than just Sunday bike rides.

 

Lovely day for a bike ride, though

[Frangipani]

Lucky you have a loud voice poor Ben, you scary old man. Just kidding.

 

It is quite scary when that happens though. The panic goes through you and you feel the heart pounding. Thats my natural state these days.

 

It reminded me of when I was doing the 'great north walk' on the north shore with a group of friends, I think there was about 30 of us. We started off in the front, but after about 8 kilometres we were engrossed in conversation, about four of us, and we somehow became separated from the group. We walked past a major key turn and kept walking there was dead silence. We called out to people not a sound. We walked back and didnt see the turn as it was camouflaged so turned back the way we were going, but our instincts told us we were going in the wrong direction. Panic, sets in, all of a sudden some slow walkers appeared that were with our group so we raced back to them, one of the guides was with them that knew the track. Talk about butterflies in the stomach. From the direction we were standing the turn was completely camouflaged and we yelled like you Baddad and not a sound. All the thoughts of getting stuck out over night flashed passed us.

 

Maybe a walky talky or a mobile phone each might be a good idea.

 

A Fold up bike sounds good, is it easy to put up and down, BD.

[Imelda]

The thing is if they think something, they assume we think it too. Its the same if they hurt themselves, or have a pain, they assume we can feel it too.

The wonderful world of autism!

[bikemad]

O heck!!!! That sounds like something my ds would do then when he came back he would wonder why im stood panincing.

[Tally]

We lost my cousin in the park once when he was about 7. He has learning difficulties and would have gone off with anyone who asked. Luckily there were enough of us to try several different paths. When someone brought him back to us, he said exactly the same thing, "I knew where I was," and couldn't understand what all the bother was about Very scary! Glad you found Ben safe and sound.

[Flora]

Those subtle language differences! I have them often with Ben. Similar issue not with me but with his dad, he was cycling round a lake and there was something lost in communication; his dad was going round the lake in the opposite direction and said they'd meet each other going round. Ben misunderstood and had doubled back to find him so they were chasing each other round this lake. The police were about to launch a helicopter when he was spotted.

 

Alls well that ends well. It's easy to forget the finer language details that some kids are struggling with, and it's times like this that they force you to remember!!!

 

I can just imagine that moment of fear and panic before he cycled back up to you <'>

 

Flo' <'>