getting up for school

[nw1222]

Can anyone give advice on techniques to help a 13 yr old and beyond exhausted mum with getting up in the morning. My niece will scream like she's being murdered if anyone touches her to get her out of bed and mum is exhausted with forcing her , as she did in the last month of term and literally pushing a hysterical girl out the door to the bus. Bribery and incentive charts have not worked.

Now the child is in charge and mum waits each morning to see what kind of day she is going to have. If the child won't get up or agree to go out, then mum is house bound. Any tips from experienced carers will be appreciated. I'm the aunt and do not know where to start. My nieces attendance has been from 50 % to a perfect month at the last month of term last year , but the last three morings have been hellish. I'm visiting from overseas and cannot stay to keep the peace or help indefinitely. Also anyone with suggestions for respite care would be great.

[wasuup]

Is there anything that your niece really likes to do/play with/go to?

With my daughter its the computer so her turn is 7am in the morning even in the holidays and only if she is washed,dressed and eaten her breakfast without making a fuss. Most times it works. So maybe try to think of something your niece enjoys doing, it doesn't have to cost anything, something that she would get up for on a day when there was no pressure to get up and go with that?

[barb]

Is there anything that your niece really likes to do/play with/go to?

With my daughter its the computer so her turn is 7am in the morning even in the holidays and only if she is washed,dressed and eaten her breakfast without making a fuss. Most times it works. So maybe try to think of something your niece enjoys doing, it doesn't have to cost anything, something that she would get up for on a day when there was no pressure to get up and go with that?

 

 

 

hi, to be quite honest with you unless the mother breaks this circle of the daughter not getting up it will just continue on and on. i dont think i would want to force any child of any age onto the school bus but there must be some kind of incentive she can use, every child has a weak spot regardles of having a disability or not. have she spoken with the school to see if someone from school could work out something like her being able to do something she really enjoys when she gets to school. could someone from school come round in the morning to help in some way, that is what my daughters school did they sent someone round who helped her get ready etc and bring her outside so that it wasnt directly my fault that she had to something she didnt want to so school were responsible. the more pressure that is put on her the more likely she will just cover up herself and not get up.

 

 

barb

[nw1222]

hi, to be quite honest with you unless the mother breaks this circle of the daughter not getting up it will just continue on and on. i dont think i would want to force any child of any age onto the school bus but there must be some kind of incentive she can use, every child has a weak spot regardles of having a disability or not. have she spoken with the school to see if someone from school could work out something like her being able to do something she really enjoys when she gets to school. could someone from school come round in the morning to help in some way, that is what my daughters school did they sent someone round who helped her get ready etc and bring her outside so that it wasnt directly my fault that she had to something she didnt want to so school were responsible. the more pressure that is put on her the more likely she will just cover up herself and not get up.

 

 

barb

 

Hi Barb, Does your daughter go to a mainstream school or a school specialising with Autistic children. Hannah has a guardian , carer when she gets to school. The issue this morning was literally not turning over to get out of bed, absolute stiffnes and then kicking when I tried to put on her socks or try to see her face.

Thanks for replying

[bid]

Hi

 

You need to tackle this problem when things are calm...

 

I would try a visual timetable for your neice, using pictures you can print off from a number of sites online, so that she can clearly see the time she gets out of bed, then gets washed, dressed, breakfast, teeth cleaned, and finally off to school. you could use a kitchen timer to motivate her, giving her 5 or 10 minutes for each step to be completed.

 

To begin with I would think of some reward/motivator (or 'bribe' ) for each of those activities, that she gets straight away when she successfully gets out of bed, and so on. The thing is, it has to be something she really, really wants! What motivates her? Does she have an obsession you could use (when my son was little we used tiny Warhammer figures he loved to collect). You could even use small amounts of money if she's very conscious of the value of that. The main thing is that the reward/motivator has to be really desired, and you have to make sure she 'succeeds' so that she can see the positive value of doing what she needs to do. At this stage stars or stickers, etc, just won't work...she will need an immediate, concrete reward.

 

Once you have got this routine working well, you can reduce the number of rewards to one for every two steps completed, etc, until you are giving one reward for the whole morning routine.

 

This whole system needs to be explained clearly to your niece when she is calm. You need to really 'big up' the rewards she can win and make it a positive thing.

 

Hope that helps!

 

Bid

Edited August 21, 2008 by bid