sullyandmike Report post Posted August 31, 2008 Evening all......... I've just joined the site, which looks full of useful info BTW, after getting an AS diagnosis for my 9 yr old son 2 wks ago. Now I'm sure there will be a million and one questions to ask, but the one most prominent at the moment is this. ..... Has anyone else witnessed a worsening of their child's symptoms once their diagnosis was explained to them?..... The reason I ask is that J is having a lot of "out pourings" all of a sudden and we were wondering if this could be down to the fact that we have explained (in simple terms) that it is ok to feel the things he feels/do the things he HAS to do etc. I feel that after a good few years of pent up confusions etc the pressure is finally off for him, and he can "release" without fear of ridicule, therefore a lot of stuff is coming out at once. I hope this isn't too much of a question for a first post, but I have always been a "dive straight in" kind of girl. I look forward to your replies, getting to know my way around, and hopefully contributing some useful stuff at some point. Cheers!!!!! Sully Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tjw Report post Posted August 31, 2008 hi sully and welcome to the forum i have a son age 5 and waiting for dx, so sorry but unable to give advise, but iam sure that loads of people on here will be able to help you, hope to speak soon theresa Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Diane Report post Posted August 31, 2008 Welcome to the sight Sully, When we told our son about his ASD he was angry. Still is. He does not want it. I would not say I noticed a worsening of symptoms but I was more aware of some of his behaviours being because of his ASD. Hope that helps in some way. Diane Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted August 31, 2008 Hi Sully - welcome to the forum... Firstly, no it's not uncommon to see an increase in behaviours on the back of diagnosis, for several of the reasons you mention. That's actually a good thing - feeling enabled to be more open and honest about how you're feeling because the fear of being negatively 'judged' has lessened. That said, it's also perfectly natural for a child being told 'that's okay now' to exploit the situation (kids are kids, AS or otherwise) so you do need to keep the boundaries in place and be realsitic with yourself and him about what is and isn't acceptable. I took my son's best friend (who's not AS/ASD) on holiday with us this year, and it was simultaneaously reassuring and exasperating to see him 'exploiting' the situation and testing the boundaries with behaviours he'd never have attempted in his own home. As I said, kids are kids... The important thing (IMO) about knowing is that it empowers the person with the dx to put the things that are 'different' into a context which is enabling - i.e. when a situation is too much they can respond openly and honestly and ask for 'time out' or whatever to get things back on track. If it becomes (or is allowed to become) a method of avoiding the situation all together or a way of rationalising behaviour that would otherwise be deemed innappropriate/unacceptable then it is disabling, because outside of a totally artificial and accommodating environment (i.e. the real world) those avoidances/behaviours have very real consequences. Hope that's helpful Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sullyandmike Report post Posted August 31, 2008 Thank you all for your kind welcome and insightful answers.........it REALLY helps to know you are not on your own in this scary new AS world. Pete and I were just talking last night about how hard it is going to be working out what is standard "little boy" behaviour and what is AS............I guess I'm just going to have to get better at making judgement calls. Luckily J is one of those children who is so TOTALLY transparent when it comes to trying it on that it is almost laughable. Within 10 seconds of a flase statement or reaction, he has to get the truth out there and put it right, or it just doesn't sit right in his head. I remember seeing the head teacher over one of the many instances of bullying *sighs heavily*, and he said that he could always rely on J for a full, un abridged and completely honest account of events (even down to colours and smells!!!!!). I guess we are all going to have to learn as we go along....... Thanx again for your replies............Sully Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cat Report post Posted August 31, 2008 I help to run a support group and I know from the many parents that I have spoken to and supported over the last few years that many of 'them' find the diagnosis of autism very difficult to cope with and come to terms with. It takes some far longer than others. If this is true for parents then why should it be any different for those who have the condition? I do not think that it makes one jot of difference that it is a child we are talking about I believe that being told that you are different (because let's face it that is what we are saying really) can be difficult to take on board and be instantly positive about. I do believe that a diagnosis is not an excuse for 'anything goes' but I do believe that sometimes it can be hard for the child/adult with the diagnosis. Is your son talking about the dx to you? If not his change in behaviour could be hiding his anxieties about his condition. I made it clear to my two sons that having autism was 'not' their get out of jail free card. Autism is an explanation for the way they are not an excuse to do as they please but I do know that sometimes living with their condition is not easy for them. I remember attending a conference where a very well known and respected VIP person in the world of disability said that children with disabilities do not want to be 'special' they just want to be the same as everyone else. I try to remember this when my two are making me want to run for the hills (not always easy though Cat Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sullyandmike Report post Posted August 31, 2008 Thanx for that Cat........I think there is a bit of dx frustration in the mix with J which may well be a contributing factor. He has a pertty hefty underlying (but unconnected) medical condition too (has had it since birth), so he has quite a weight on his little shoulders at the mo. We do talk with him about it, and are working our way through a childrens AS book as and when he is willing and interested........we'll get there in the end Thanx again for replying.....Sully Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted August 31, 2008 Hello, and welcome to the forum, I am an adult, diagnosed with AS last year, though I had suspected for some time. I think I probably appear more autistic now that I did before I learned I had AS, simply because I am more socially active now, whereas before I shied away from all social contact. Before, people thought I was extremely shy and serious, whereas now they are starting to see that I am quiet and different. There are many traits and behaviours that I tried to cover up, causing myself a lot of unnecessary stress which I no longer try to hide. The other thing is that the diagnosis can be a difficult thing to come to terms with. Many autistic behaviours can be exacerbated by stress, anxiety or just thinking everything through. Gradually I have realisations about the difficulties I have and the level of support I require, and during those times I retreat into myself, comfort myself by indulging in my special interests and display repetitive movements more than usual. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
