Not eating at school :(

[Lynden]

Logan has always been a faddy eater. We've always had issues since the early days when he had bad reflux, then at 18 months or so he was seen as a hospital outpatient because of chronic constipation and weight loss when he dropped off the centiles. He's a diddy little thing and finally in the last year seemed to stabilise around the 2nd centile.

 

He has a lot of food issues, will only eat certain textures and smells, and he has problems with generalisation too - where he'll eat something at school but not at home, or something from one restaurant but not another etc. He also doesn't seem to recognise the sensation of hunger. He does get vitamin and calcium supplements and I try not to stress about it too much - or I've learned not to over the years. He does drink about 3 litres a day of weak squash.

 

We had hoped when he started school last year he might try school dinners but that was a nono so he has the same packed lunch every day, crisps or crackers, a cereal bar, yoghurt covered raisins and grapes (not the healthiest in the world but it was failsafe that he'd eat it). However the last week of term he stopped eating at school. I put other failsafe favourites (we dont have many) in his lunch bag to no avail. I put it down to change. He's been very very faddy at home over the summer, and since he's been back to school he hasn't eaten anything at all, and the past two days hasn't drunken at school either. We did move house the weekend before school went back, and its new class new teachers so he has had a lot of change and stress which he's dealt well with, and the eating is probably related but I'm petrified it becomes a habit.

 

He's only 5, and can't afford to lose the weight so the thought of him not eating/drinking from 9am till 3.30pm is worrying but I dont know what to do about it. I can't force the food into him

 

They do go to the dinner hall in year 1 which he didn't last year,and it is noisy there which stresses him so today they're going to try keeping him in class on his own to see if that helps.

 

Has anyone been through similar and what did you do?

 

Any advice appreciated.

 

Lynne x

[oxgirl]

Hi Lynne, you could have been writing about my lad, we had exactly the same. My lad was also below the centile lines and still is only on the 2nd at 14 and he refused to eat at school as well. He also never recognized when he was hungry and thirsty and this only started to develop when he was round 9 or 10. In the end I got some fortified juices prescribed from the GP for him to have at school and he would sip them throughout the day. It could be something in the hall that is putting your lad off, hope that him being in a quiet room to eat helps. In the end all we could do was to bring him home at lunchtime to eat at home, but I know this isn't possible for everyone. I know how worrying it is, so sending some <'> <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[NobbyNobbs]

i wouldn't eat at school when i was younger, it was the fear that what i was eating was wrong and the way i was eating it was wrong too as well as the sensory issues of smells, tastes, textures. i still rarely eat in front of anyone but my family, and often not even them. in the end i managed to find enough foods i was willing to eat that were acceptable to my friends as normal( i was on school dinners, but certain foods that were served were not acceptable to be eaten. moving him onto his own space hopefully will help, but if not try finding out what the other kids have in their lunch, and what he might be willing to try out of that. otherwise it could be something as simple as having the wrong lunchbox, seat, or anything else that plagues autistic people. otherwise, check his access to bathrooms, who hes sitting with and so on as they will be increasing stress. if its the change thats a problem, even asking if he can go eat in his old classroom (if hes at teh same school)might help as this will be more familiar and safe

Edited September 10, 2008 by NobbyNobbs

[Lynden]

Hi Lynne, you could have been writing about my lad, we had exactly the same. My lad was also below the centile lines and still is only on the 2nd at 14 and he refused to eat at school as well. He also never recognized when he was hungry and thirsty and this only started to develop when he was round 9 or 10. In the end I got some fortified juices prescribed from the GP for him to have at school and he would sip them throughout the day. It could be something in the hall that is putting your lad off, hope that him being in a quiet room to eat helps. In the end all we could do was to bring him home at lunchtime to eat at home, but I know this isn't possible for everyone. I know how worrying it is, so sending some <'> <'> <'>

 

~ Mel ~

 

Mel do you remember what the juices were? I've been thinking about going to the GP to see about getting *something* but I know build up etc he just wouldn't look at taking. I can't force things into him as he throws up when we even try to give him medicine - but he does like juice so that might be at least a little peace of mind.

 

Lynne x

[Lynden]

i wouldn't eat at school when i was younger, it was the fear that what i was eating was wrong and the way i was eating it was wrong too as well as the sensory issues of smells, tastes, textures. i still rarely eat in front of anyone but my family, and often not even them. in the end i managed to find enough foods i was willing to eat that were acceptable to my friends as normal( i was on school dinners, but certain foods that were served were not acceptable to be eaten. moving him onto his own space hopefully will help, but if not try finding out what the other kids have in their lunch, and what he might be willing to try out of that. otherwise it could be something as simple as having the wrong lunchbox, seat, or anything else that plagues autistic people. otherwise, check his access to bathrooms, who hes sitting with and so on as they will be increasing stress. if its the change thats a problem, even asking if he can go eat in his old classroom (if hes at teh same school)might help as this will be more familiar and safe

 

Thanks Nobby. He's not overly fussed about which lunchbox/plate etc, the only thing is his cup, which he has his own one from home in School. He does have the same lunch box every day as well btw. School tried him often with bits from school lunches when he looked interested but got nowhere with it which is why he's still on packed lunches.

 

I am hoping that keeping him in class makes a difference though and I might consider asking if he can go to early years for lunch to see if that helps if he doesn't eat soon.

 

He doesn't eat well at home either, but at least here we can have stuff out all the time that he can graze on if needbe whereas they can't do taht at school for obvious reasons.

 

Lynne x

[Mumble]

I am hoping that keeping him in class makes a difference though and I might consider asking if he can go to early years for lunch to see if that helps if he doesn't eat soon.

I hope that these work for you - I think it's worth trying anything. If he is staying in the classroom on his own, is it possible for another pupil who he knows who preferably eats well to have his/her packed lunch also in the classroom with him at the same time - the modelling might encourage him to at least eat a bit because what you definitely don't want to end up with is a situation whereby he feels segregated by this, as that may make him less likely to eat. Would a distraction at the same time help or totally lose the focus of eating - I'm thinking a favourite toy on the table at the same time so he's almost snacking whilst he's doing something else - not ideal I know but sometimes there's a need to think outside the box.

 

I suspect that the dining hall might be part of the bigger problem - they are always incredibly noisy and confusing environments. When I was teaching, we allowed the autistic boy in my class to always be at the beginning of the queue and go in so he had time to choose without being rushed a little ahead of the other pupils (nothing really noticeable, we always used it as a time to check they had clean hands etc and as he was always tidy and at the beginning of the queue it gave that little extra breathing space he needed and he was sat down and eating before the noise began). Does he have a time-out option if need be - this might help you to see if the dining hall is the problem if he's using it more there?

 

And I would definitely advise going to the doctors and seeing if they can help.

[oxgirl]

Mel do you remember what the juices were?

 

Lynne, they were called Fortisip. They are very thick so we used to dilute them into several drinks that he could have throughout the day whilst still getting the extra calories and nutrients. He also had a powder from the GP at one point, can't remember what it was called, sorry, but it was high in carbs and protein etc. and we used to add a scoop to his milk in the mornings and evenings. My lad was able to explain more to me as he got older. He used to love custard cream biccies for example, but when he went to the unit he is in now, the way another lad was eating them one day really put him off them, he said it made him feel sick, and he's not been able to touch one since. Also, because of his poor coordination, he wasn't able to open his crisp packet and so had to ask someone to help him with this, which he wasn't always able to do. So it could be something as simple as that, other kiddies crumbs or table manners or just the hussle bustle putting him off. Really hope that you can find a solution to this distressing situation. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[oxgirl]

Mumble's ideas are really good ones. When Jay was little there were various girls who would fight each other for the job of being his little helper for the day. They would take him into the cloakroom early and put his shoes on for him, etc. and they would really look after him. It would be great if the teacher could line up some volunteers to sit with your lad and I would also suggest that the teachers back off a bit and don't put too much pressure on him. At one point, Jay was having the teacher crouched down next to him holding food up to his mouth trying to cajole him to eat and it drove him to breaking point where he couldn't escape from it and would just bang his head on the table in distress. If they could just sit your lad down with a little helper in a quiet, relaxed atmosphere and leave them to it he might just feel relaxed enough to have a few mouthfuls and then it could become a habit.

 

I've gone all teary remembering this period of our lives now I never thought we would get through it, but we did and you will too. As I say, Jay is nearly 15 now and much improved, so there is hope. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[chris54]

Hi there

Our son now 8 has always had a problem with food right from day one. We kept a log for the first 2 years partly to show the health visitor to show that we were feeding him as he put on so little wight. Just managed to avoid any intervention. Not sure what they had in mind.

 

He, even now does not seem to recognise that he is hungry. Never had school dinners and very fussy what he has in his lunch box. What others at school say/do seems to make a difference. He'll have something in his lunch box for weeks then all of a sudden it will be a no no.

 

Today;- breakfast,. 3 spoons of coco pops very small glass of milk, Lunch 3/4 of a meat paste sandwich 2 digestive biscuits.

 

Few sweets on the way home that a friend gave him. Tea, 2 fish fingers a spoonful of baked beans. small glass of Orange. That was it today.

 

This was a bad day but not that unusual. But then we get a day when he does not stop eating and we get worried that he is over doing it.

 

I don't worry to much as he is never ill and has always got loads of energy.

 

He never use to be able to open crisps, If he wanted them in his lunch box, I opened them and folded the top over and sort of wedged them so they stayed closed.

 

Now they have health eating at school so crisps are frowned on.

 

I could go on.

 

Really if they are growing and health I would not worry to much.

[Lynden]

Thanks everyone - its nice to even know that others have been through it. I have to say his school is really good, and regardless of healthy eating they will feed him whatever I put in his packed lunch box. It is an SLD school so he does have at least 2:1 support all the time and often 1:1 so opening things etc are not really an issue. Logan doesn't have any real interest in what others are eating (other than my daughter who he watches intently which freaks her out a bit!) so I'm not entirely sure its what others have or haven't.

 

He did eat a few crisps yesterday in class with the teachers so am hopeful just keeping him out of the lunch hall will help! He still didn't drink though which I think concerns me more as he's always drunk about 3 litres a day, and often for comfort so him not doing that is odd.

 

Will see how it goes over the next few days.

 

Lynne