Sooze2 Report post Posted October 18, 2008 He's being really good at the moment. Ive written down all the things that he gets up to and the extra strain there is on the family etc etc. Parent Support Advisor went through it with me and said I'd done it well. BUT not he's being really good I'd feel like a fraud sending it off! He's sleeping now that he's on menatonin and I feel that has made a real difference to him. Is it because he's more chilled now that I have DH on side and he's handling him in a kinder way and I am not being so grumpy these days or is he getting better. We haven't done anything out of the ordinary lately either, its been School, Park, Home, freinds on a Wednesday each day since the new term started so perhaps that is a really tight routine and he will go mad again when we do other things. He did have a majour paddy the other day where he tried to smash my glass display cabinate and then his bedroom window, luckily DH stayed with him and managed to calm him down. All over getting the wrong toy in a Kinder Egg! Do you think I would be a fraud sendning this DLA form off since he's being so good? Am I just so used to him now that I haven't really got a big problem with him and the way he behaves because I have ways to deal with him that work? I don't know! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted October 18, 2008 No I don't think you're being a fraud, but I understand the dilemma, I went through similar when L's renewal came up and she was going through a good patch. You have to think, what is the worst case scenario - think how your son would be without the melatonin, routines and without the million tiny adjustments you probably make for him without thinking. It helps to compare him with your other children - what do you have to do for your son that you don't do for them? (not so easy if there's a big age gap but you can compare wih other children of similar age) Even on a good day, there will probably be differences if you look closely enough. And as we all know, things can change and there are plently of ups and downs in our children's lives - not that I'm wishing a rough patch on you - long may the calm period continue! As you've done the form, and done it well, send it off and good luck! K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted October 19, 2008 Hi You're not being a fraud. I too, understand where you're coming from. Various organisatons that assist with the filling out of DLA forms actually advise basing the form on a really bad day (certainly, in my case that wasn't difficult - there are a lot of those!). Kids don't behave the same way twice, so you have to generalise. In addition, you need to remember that if you don't, for example, base the form on a bad day, then the assessors may think 'oh, well, things are fine here' and award nothing. The criteria for DLA is in essence that if you have a child who is harder work than a neurotypical child, you are entitled to apply. Ask yourself if you fall into that category, and if it's a yes, get the forms sent off. Do remember to photocopy the form as you may need to refer to it at a later date. Best wishes. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BuntyB Report post Posted October 19, 2008 If you think about what the criteria is, would you say your child needs constantly supervising? It sounds as if he does! A child can vary so much, and even if he's being good right now, does not mean he doesn't need watching in case things escalate. You should meet Middle Rate Care, or higher rate if he has night time needs too, and the only way you can demosntrate that is by giving examples of the sort of danger he could put himself in if he wasn't watched, ie, trying to break glass! no, don't feel like a fraud. you're telling it how it is. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NickyB Report post Posted October 19, 2008 Take a look at your day, and think of how many things you do differently compared to what you might do for an NT child. I don't know about you, but most of the time we are thinking 'one step ahead' and anticipating situations so as to avoid any problems. This in itself is very time-consuming and wearing, even if it has become second-nature. Don't underestimate the stresses you are under and the care and supervision your child needs. If I were you, I'd definitely send in the forms - don't feel that you are a fraud. Nicky <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
joybed Report post Posted October 19, 2008 You are not being a fraud and i too was advised to fill it in thinking of the worst possible day. He may be Ok now but you might hit a bad patch (I hope not) soon. I justify it to myself that the money goes on M anyway as he needs his clothes replacing so often as he just eats them when he is stressed so needs a new jumper every month. He is also very destructive so i also use it to replace anything of the other 2s that he had destroyed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluefish Report post Posted October 19, 2008 Hi, totally understand how you are feeling! I not only found the forms very difficult to fill out but as I only have one child and know nothing different found it hard to understand why I could possibly get money for being a mum!!!! It took my mum to point out that even when things are good,it is nothing like the way things are with an A typical child! I found it hard to do the forms and made ds sound far better than he is in some situations , yes he has smeared but not for a while ect ect so I didnt include it....but as was pointed out to me by the disability officer how many other parents have to obssesivly visit places, buy certain things ,drive everywhere, replace furnitue,etc ect I think the forms are heartbreaking as they make you look at the hard stuff that we tend to regard as normal... fill them in and send them off. I know,that if given a choice would rather be in the position that the forms were something you had ever even heard of! I felt disrespectful (sorry about spelling) saying things about my son, the bad days etc so to make myself feel better put a note on the forms to say....although he is very hard work and has his difficulties he is an amazing little boy and I am very proud of him, might sound daft, but it helped me write down the negative things that he is capable of .. hope this helps? send the forms! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted October 19, 2008 I dont want to put a spanner in the works, but just remember whats around the corner, christmas, equals change, lights, hype moods, antisipation, surprise, all enough for things to esculate, my jay is very unpridicatable, a good few periods doesnt equal normal life, by the sounds of it, your doing a lot of interventions and treatments and it goes to show that all that really does benefit your son, take the meds and interventions away and triggers of changes add in and it could be back to square one. Dont forget that the DLA isnt yours, its actually your sons. and its there to give him the treatments, interventions and knowledge to support, assist him. Good Luck with the results when you drop it in the post, by registerd delivery. JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sooze2 Report post Posted October 20, 2008 Thanks a lot lovelies, I will send it in then. Like you say, he did try to smash the house up over a Kinderegg toy being wrong. Do most kids of 9 do that? I think not! Mwah xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted October 20, 2008 Thanks a lot lovelies, I will send it in then. Like you say, he did try to smash the house up over a Kinderegg toy being wrong. Do most kids of 9 do that? I think not! Mwah xx Good luck. <'> JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
