shaking with anger

[Flora]

I am looking after Ben's friend for a couple of days 'cos his mum's at work. I noticed in the back corner of my fire place (it's an inglenook) that there was a pile of rubble (motar), I was cleaning it up when I noticed that the incense burner I have in there was cracked in two. I looked around the room and saw a few golf balls lying around which immediately answered the mistery! I called Ben down and he admitted that he'd been throwing golf balls round the room... I asked him if his friend had been doing it too but Ben said he hadn't... but I could tell he was lying because he'd be embarrassed at me telling of another kid! Anyway, asked the friend seperately and he admitted to it too!!! He said he didn't think it would matter because the fire place is built from bricks!!!! The thing is, I recently decorated and got new furniture so Ben is fully aware that there is to be no 'funny business' in that room.

 

I've told them both off quite severely but I'm still fuming. I have told them to stay right out of my way and not put another foot out of line because I am so furious with allready. His friend is really worried that I will tell his mum. I'm not sure if I will tell her because I know for a fact she'll be furious too.

 

Im probably angry out of all proportion but I really am jsut livid and in a real temper. Had to come on here and get it all out to prevent myself from seeking them out and shouting at them all over again!!!

 

Flora

[Diane]

Hi Flora,

 

It is horrid when you get so angry and cannot let go of it. I have found pulling the weeds out of the ground sometimes helps as well as and chocolate <'> >< <'>

 

I am sorry your incense burner was broken. I like those as well. Whats your favourite scent?

 

We have the same rule in our house no balls in the living room. My DS still does it. So I took them all away and we have loads as it was one of his obsessions when he was a little younger. He has earned some back and is allowed them on the landing upstairs with all the bedroom and bathroom doors closed.

 

Oh to tell the other parent or not that is the question? This is always a difficult one.

 

I think you have to decide if they understand what they did was wrong.

 

Perhaps you would not be so angry if the truth had been told in the first place. You could give them this one chance and say if anything happens again you will tell th eother parent.

 

I think you should also take into consideration if this child is a good friend of your sons or just a when he feels like it friend. You could tell them both that you really liked the incense burner and feel angry, sad that it is now broken. they may offer to replace it. I do not know how well you know the mum of your DS friend.

 

I will tell you about my daughter who is 17 now. When she was 14 she had one of many girly sleep-overs.

I forget how many came now but they all had a nice time and left the following morning after clearing up. Oh what nice girls I thought. :lol:

 

You now need to roll forward a couple of months.

 

I realised I was missing one of my extra large and fluffy soft bath towels. My daughter had the habit of hoarding them in her bedroom. So off I go to have a look. I open the wardrobe and see the towel. Grumble to myself and take it off the shelf. The towel feels some what heavy. I unravel it to find an empty wine bottle. Fume! Fume! Shock that my daughter was secret drinker. Realise it is from our drinks cupboard so I fume some more as she is now into stealing.

 

Told hubby when he got home and we discussed how we would handle it. I made our daughter a lovely breakfast the following morning and when she was sat at the dining table about to tuck in I placed the bottle on the table and said 'I think you have some explaining to do young lady'.. It is not often one gets to see a teenager embarrassed and speechless as well as guilty with no way out very often.

 

Bless her she told me that the girls all together had decided they wanted a drink so my DS went to see what she could find. She then told me how disgusting it was and how they all hated it and she tipped it down the sink. She hid the bottle and forgot about it.

 

I told her I was thinking about speaking to the other parents, she begged and pleaded with me not to. I told her she had better let her friends know what I had found and that I might tell their parents. After a week I told her I was not going to as I think they had learnt their lesson. I think I might have grounded her for a while. We had the long chat about what the rights and wrongs of what she did. The next time they came round for a sleepover I did mention the incident.

 

Here is the sting in the tale. The bottle of wine in question was a �1.00 lambrussco which we had for years it had done 3 house moves and just enjoyed living in the back of the cupboard.

 

We enjoy reminding her about this event. She still goes red.

 

Do I feel not telling the other parents was right. Yes I do. It changed my relationship with my daughter at the time and she became more open about all sorts of things. The next time she had a sleep over she asked if they could have a bottle of something and I said yes but I needed their parents permission first. They were all ok about this and for a while my daughter enjoyed being told she had a cool mum. I liked that to it is not often you get told that as a mum.

 

I would just like to say I do not encourage under age drinking but if they are going to do it they find away.

 

I was worried that if I told the other parents that some of these girls might take it out on my daughter, because whilst I liked most of them there were one or two who would stab you in the back given half the chance.

 

I know this is entirely different to your experience just now but i hope it helps.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Babylicious]

Pair of monkeys! I'd be annoyed too.

[Karen A]

I am looking after Ben's friend for a couple of days 'cos his mum's at work. I noticed in the back corner of my fire place (it's an inglenook) that there was a pile of rubble (motar), I was cleaning it up when I noticed that the incense burner I have in there was cracked in two. I looked around the room and saw a few golf balls lying around which immediately answered the mistery! I called Ben down and he admitted that he'd been throwing golf balls round the room... I asked him if his friend had been doing it too but Ben said he hadn't... but I could tell he was lying because he'd be embarrassed at me telling of another kid! Anyway, asked the friend seperately and he admitted to it too!!! He said he didn't think it would matter because the fire place is built from bricks!!!! The thing is, I recently decorated and got new furniture so Ben is fully aware that there is to be no 'funny business' in that room.

 

I've told them both off quite severely but I'm still fuming. I have told them to stay right out of my way and not put another foot out of line because I am so furious with allready. His friend is really worried that I will tell his mum. I'm not sure if I will tell her because I know for a fact she'll be furious too.

 

Im probably angry out of all proportion but I really am jsut livid and in a real temper. Had to come on here and get it all out to prevent myself from seeking them out and shouting at them all over again!!!

 

Flora

 

 

<'> <'> <'> Flora that is ok.I have been livid and in a real temper today too.I did seek the person out and shout at them all over again too....and the person concerned was an adult professional. Perhaps we both need a chill out zone . Karen.

 

[Flora]

Thanks all

 

I've totally calmed down now. The boy is a good friend of Ben's, and meand his mum are quite good friends. I'm not going to tell her, but I'm not mentioning that fact to the boys either (don't want to use that sort of threat as a means of discipline IYKWIM), I'm just going to let it drop. It's just been one of those days. My car has been getting a new exhaust fitted so we couldn't go anywhere and I had to wait near the phone to find out when it was ready to pick up!

 

I went out for a nice walk and am not so stressed now. Sometimes I just want them all to s0d off and today was one of those 'sometimes'

 

Flo'

 

 

[JsMum]

 

 

 

Glad you had a bit of a walk to seek yourself, and your now calmer.

 

Golf balls, blimey. if Jay had those here, id have smashed windows and holes everywhere.

 

They do sound like they got up to mischiefe though, and both were honest when the time came to cough up the truth, that in itself deserves a bit of respect.

 

Anyway, since its a sod of day, here is a HUG. <'>

 

TLC Tonight huns.

 

JsMum

 

 

[Clare63]

I would be the same too, I hate it when things get broken. Last week Connor was kicking a light plastic football around the lounge I was up stairs (making one of many very important phone calls) in the space of of about 10 minutes he managed to knock over a glass of squash covering his school work, knock over a lamp and the pendulam off the clock on the wall.....fortunately nothing was broken, but I was livid and the ball was no more !

 

Bit like the time when Connor and his friend smashed the rear window on my car, could not get too cross as I was the stupid person who brought them both a catapult

 

Glad you've calmed down and that the boys have learnt a lesson.

 

Clare x x x

Edited October 27, 2008 by Clare63

[hev]

i cant bear footballs or golf balls in my house,steve had a phase of kicking them full pelt like he was on a football pitch in my frontroom,they are banned now cos they make me fume too flo!!

[Karen A]

i cant bear footballs or golf balls in my house,steve had a phase of kicking them full pelt like he was on a football pitch in my frontroom,they are banned now cos they make me fume too flo!!

<'> <'> <'> <'> Good to see you again Hev.....missed you.Karen.