social skills, need help

[dana]

Hi there,

 

I need help and advise,please! My son ds (9) always had problems with socialising.We were abroad for 2 years,1 year he was very ill and did not go to school.We came back in september when he started going to school gain. In th beginning the children observed that he was different and started calling him names ,mocking him and bulling.Hedid not understand what was really happei9ng and thought that it was some kind o f a game,that it was funny and that they liked him! (I want to cry .....).We told him what was realy happening and to report this to the teacher .We also told him to ignore these children.Now,HE is calling THEM names and loughing even when they get upset, without realsing that it hurts them. He is a friendly child and wants to hAVE friends but does not know how to get their attention. Calling names is the way he gets it! In the beginning the teacher was simpathetic but now she tends to believe the other children, even if ds might be telling the trueth. She told them to ignor him with a hope that he will stop doing it. SENCO promised that she would reffer hm to the learning mentor who would help him to develop social skills but n0thing is happening yet.Only empty romises. His school asked me to help his teacher last term and it was good because I was able to see what was going on in his classroom. I observed that he simply imitates their behavior and amplifies it, without ability to stop doing it.

My hubi and I wanted him to go to school,to mix with children, to learn from diffeent authorities then us,to learn things we are not able to teach him.Now I am not so sure that this is so good idea because what he learned so far is only rejection, namecalling ... I don't know how to help him. Now he started to appologize to them ,feeling guilty but they don't appologise to him. I feel so sorry for him, I want to cry but don't know what to do...

 

 

dana

[chris54]

Is the teacher telling the children to ignore him or ignore what he is saying?

 

What may work would be (and I cant think of the name it is given) a group children from his class, they have to volunteer or it want work who befriend him with input from an adult.

 

This in a very informal way is what has helped my son to some degree get on with others in school.

 

He would resort to pinching and hitting out off frustration that "game" was not going as he wanted, or if he felt crowded. Most of the time he is very passive. The first time he did this, the hurting others at his new school the teacher was very concerned as it seemed out of character, but after I explained to her what I thought it was it seems to have settled down.

 

They do a lot about relationships in class and have even talked about how autism amongst other things, may affect someone, Not that the children know my son has autism just about accepting people as they are.

 

Just a few thoughts that might help.

[dana]

Is the teacher telling the children to ignore him or ignore what he is saying?

 

What may work would be (and I cant think of the name it is given) a group children from his class, they have to volunteer or it want work who befriend him with input from an adult.

 

This in a very informal way is what has helped my son to some degree get on with others in school.

 

He would resort to pinching and hitting out off frustration that "game" was not going as he wanted, or if he felt crowded. Most of the time he is very passive. The first time he did this, the hurting others at his new school the teacher was very concerned as it seemed out of character, but after I explained to her what I thought it was it seems to have settled down.

 

They do a lot about relationships in class and have even talked about how autism amongst other things, may affect someone, Not that the children know my son has autism just about accepting people as they are.

 

Just a few thoughts that might help.

 

I suppose the teacher meant to ignore what he wa saying. It seems that she wants to help him with socialising and she appointed the child to play with him dduring the break but this is not the child ds wants to play with. My son likes to play with particular girls but they are not interested and he is desperate to make them interested but does not know how. It is obsession. SENCO promissed to reffer him to the Learning Mentor to form a circle of children to help him. But nothing happened so far. I would like to press them but I am not sure that this is a good idea because I am afraid that they might find me too pushy and reflect that on my son. Each time I speak with the teacher I have a feeling that I am bothering her because she is very busy.This excuse she used not to make IEP for ds,also saying that anyway he would have to follow National Curr.

[chris54]

All children have to follow the national curriculum, well in theory at least. That does not stop them having a IEP.

If I understand what the government is saying correctly, all children will soon have an IEP.

 

And all teachers will say they are busy.

 

I would keep pushing the SENCO about the circle of friends idea.

 

A hard lesson your son will have to learn is no mater how much you want to be friends with someone if the feeling is not mutual then it is just not going to happen. Haven't go an answer for that one.

[dana]

All children have to follow the national curriculum, well in theory at least. That does not stop them having a IEP.

If I understand what the government is saying correctly, all children will soon have an IEP.

 

And all teachers will say they are busy.

 

I would keep pushing the SENCO about the circle of friends idea.

 

A hard lesson your son will have to learn is no mater how much you want to be friends with someone if the feeling is not mutual then it is just not going to happen. Haven't go an answer for that one.

 

Thanks for advise.

 

dana

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I'm experiencing exactly the same thing with my 7 year old. Basically, other kids don't want to play with him and he's being rejected because of the way he acts towards others (trying to control them and becoming very aggressive when they don't 'play ball'). School are aware of it, and he's watched by a LA (who watches goodness knows how many other kids!). It's reaching the stage where I'm wondering if it would be kinder to him to get him into an ASD unit. I'm in turmoil at the moment (I'm worried sick, quite literally I might add!) and am very confused about what the best thing to do is. I'm going to visit two ASD units next week and I'm hoping I'll get that instant 'gut feeling' which will help me work out what to do. It's just so difficult when you have a child that's effectively in the twilight zone, which don't quite fit into either mainstream or special school. I feel guilty for saying this, but I almost wish I had a child that didn't want to socialise because I can't bear watching R being rejected and watching him in tears time and time again. My feeling is that it's only going to get worse because he's at an age where he's beginning to realise he's different and likewise his peers are noticing he's different.

 

Best wishes - I'll be watching this thread with interest.

 

Caroline.

[dana]

Hi

 

I'm experiencing exactly the same thing with my 7 year old. Basically, other kids don't want to play with him and he's being rejected because of the way he acts towards others (trying to control them and becoming very aggressive when they don't 'play ball'). School are aware of it, and he's watched by a LA (who watches goodness knows how many other kids!). It's reaching the stage where I'm wondering if it would be kinder to him to get him into an ASD unit. I'm in turmoil at the moment (I'm worried sick, quite literally I might add!) and am very confused about what the best thing to do is. I'm going to visit two ASD units next week and I'm hoping I'll get that instant 'gut feeling' which will help me work out what to do. It's just so difficult when you have a child that's effectively in the twilight zone, which don't quite fit into either mainstream or special school. I feel guilty for saying this, but I almost wish I had a child that didn't want to socialise because I can't bear watching R being rejected and watching him in tears time and time again. My feeling is that it's only going to get worse because he's at an age where he's beginning to realise he's different and likewise his peers are noticing he's different.

 

Best wishes - I'll be watching this thread with interest.

 

Caroline.

Hi Caroline,

this is exactly how I feel as well! It would be easier for me if ds does not want to have friends although this does not make sense in a long run because this also gives me a hope that his desire to socialize might push him to learn how to do it. In the meantime, you put it perfectly: we are in the twilight zone,uncharted teritory, confused ...and very sad...

 

dana

[cmuir]

Hi

 

Thank goodness I'm not alone in thinking that.

 

Best wishes

 

Caroline

[Cat]

I did a great big long response to this topic earlier then managed to lose it all and so I have had to start again after going shopping.

 

First of all I feel that the school here has to accept responsibility for the way things have progressed re your son. They should have stamped out naming calling from the off. If they had acted then your son would have had less chance to now be copying inappropriate behaviour that he is displaying at school now. He is simply trying to make friends but has no idea how to achieve this. They should not be moving the goal posts around. They have a legal duty to make sure that they do not treat your son less favourably because he has a disability. They appear to have done just that. If you do not push them to put things in place for your son then no one else is going too sadly.

 

Having said all of this I think that social skills have got to be very finely tuned to meet the needs of our children because they are so very individual. I also believe that whoever is charged at delivering these skills needs to have a pretty good understanding of autism and how it is impacting on the child that is being helped. Do you feel that this school has a good understanding of your son? This does not mean that they should be doing nothing but I think that the foundations probably need to be set you his family.

 

I have two sons with autism and social skills are a big issue in our house. I am of the belief that until a child has a pretty good understanding of themselves it can be very difficult for them to successfully interact with others. My youngest has known that he was autistic from being 3 years old although at that time it was just a word to him. Now aged 11 he knows what that word means to him as a person. I think that the hardest part of teaching social skills to a child with autism is doing so without them walking away feeling that it is always ?them? that gets it wrong. How can you teach a child that they are getting it wrong without them feeling that way? It is not easy. The older they are the harder it is. Maybe a social story would help at the moment although I think that I would either be writing it with the school or for the school. Your son needs to be helped to understand that sometimes girls just want to play with other girls and that does not mean that they do not like him. Making him see that they might not want to play with him but that they do not dislike him is important. A circle of friends could work if the school put enough effort into it. I also believe in peer awareness but I know that not everyone does. I believe that if we want other kids to accept our children they need a little background info. Yes it can be a double edged sword but it can also spur some children on to make an effort to become friends with their autistic peer. Again this has to be done by someone who knows what they are doing. The school really should be doing a social story with ALL of the children in the class about name calling etc and leaving them in not doubt that that is bullying and not acceptable. If they were to do this, again in the right way, then your son is not being singled out and it might help him to understand that you can?t make friends in this way.

 

It is far harder when you have a child who craves friends. I know that for sure. I have one of each and I have shed a bucket load of tears and more over the one who craves friends. It can be done ? well at least we managed it. I went from the we are ?ALL? different and so there are no right ways and wrong ways only different ways approach. In that way I went though what NT children would think was someone one wanting to be their friend. Licking them in their ears was not one of the things they saw as a sign of friendship. At that time my son really did thinking licking someone?s ear was the way to go to make friends. I also taught my son about himself and that some of the things that he does are because of his autism. That being different does not make him wrong it just makes him different and that not everyone understands this. Maybe my way is wrong but it never points the finger at my son being different. We laugh in this house about the way that the two of us who are NT do things differently to the way that the two people who are autistic are. It has really helped to let my sons sees that what we ALL need to be doing is working towards understanding each other.

 

I have done all of this while home educating both of my sons. Far from isolating them it actually enabled them socially and allowed them take in what they needed to learn without feeling different all of the time. My youngest has just left the house with his brother to go and support his Ice Hockey Team. He has so really good friends now and attends many activities. The key to understanding is awareness. The child has to understand themselves and so be aware of their own condition. School needs to be aware of how the condition impacts on the child and so, in so my opinion does the peer group. Keep pushing if you feel you need to because as I have said no one else will.

 

[dana]

I did a great big long response to this topic earlier then managed to lose it all and so I have had to start again after going shopping.

 

First of all I feel that the school here has to accept responsibility for the way things have progressed re your son. They should have stamped out naming calling from the off. If they had acted then your son would have had less chance to now be copying inappropriate behaviour that he is displaying at school now. He is simply trying to make friends but has no idea how to achieve this. They should not be moving the goal posts around. They have a legal duty to make sure that they do not treat your son less favourably because he has a disability. They appear to have done just that. If you do not push them to put things in place for your son then no one else is going too sadly.

 

Having said all of this I think that social skills have got to be very finely tuned to meet the needs of our children because they are so very individual. I also believe that whoever is charged at delivering these skills needs to have a pretty good understanding of autism and how it is impacting on the child that is being helped. Do you feel that this school has a good understanding of your son? This does not mean that they should be doing nothing but I think that the foundations probably need to be set you his family.

 

I have two sons with autism and social skills are a big issue in our house. I am of the belief that until a child has a pretty good understanding of themselves it can be very difficult for them to successfully interact with others. My youngest has known that he was autistic from being 3 years old although at that time it was just a word to him. Now aged 11 he knows what that word means to him as a person. I think that the hardest part of teaching social skills to a child with autism is doing so without them walking away feeling that it is always ?them? that gets it wrong. How can you teach a child that they are getting it wrong without them feeling that way? It is not easy. The older they are the harder it is. Maybe a social story would help at the moment although I think that I would either be writing it with the school or for the school. Your son needs to be helped to understand that sometimes girls just want to play with other girls and that does not mean that they do not like him. Making him see that they might not want to play with him but that they do not dislike him is important. A circle of friends could work if the school put enough effort into it. I also believe in peer awareness but I know that not everyone does. I believe that if we want other kids to accept our children they need a little background info. Yes it can be a double edged sword but it can also spur some children on to make an effort to become friends with their autistic peer. Again this has to be done by someone who knows what they are doing. The school really should be doing a social story with ALL of the children in the class about name calling etc and leaving them in not doubt that that is bullying and not acceptable. If they were to do this, again in the right way, then your son is not being singled out and it might help him to understand that you can?t make friends in this way.

 

It is far harder when you have a child who craves friends. I know that for sure. I have one of each and I have shed a bucket load of tears and more over the one who craves friends. It can be done ? well at least we managed it. I went from the we are ?ALL? different and so there are no right ways and wrong ways only different ways approach. In that way I went though what NT children would think was someone one wanting to be their friend. Licking them in their ears was not one of the things they saw as a sign of friendship. At that time my son really did thinking licking someone?s ear was the way to go to make friends. I also taught my son about himself and that some of the things that he does are because of his autism. That being different does not make him wrong it just makes him different and that not everyone understands this. Maybe my way is wrong but it never points the finger at my son being different. We laugh in this house about the way that the two of us who are NT do things differently to the way that the two people who are autistic are. It has really helped to let my sons sees that what we ALL need to be doing is working towards understanding each other.

 

I have done all of this while home educating both of my sons. Far from isolating them it actually enabled them socially and allowed them take in what they needed to learn without feeling different all of the time. My youngest has just left the house with his brother to go and support his Ice Hockey Team. He has so really good friends now and attends many activities. The key to understanding is awareness. The child has to understand themselves and so be aware of their own condition. School needs to be aware of how the condition impacts on the child and so, in so my opinion does the peer group. Keep pushing if you feel you need to because as I have said no one else will.

Hi Cat,

thank you very much for your advise and for the effort you made it to write it again after you lost it! It is so encouraging to read success stories for us who are still deep in the tunnel...

I did tell ds that the girls prefere to play with other girls. He picks any girl who is once nice to him and has fixation to befriend her. One of assistant teachers told him not to give up trying even if she does not want that. I am not sure that is good idea. The teacher did try to tell the children not to do namecalling but being there I was able to see that some children show one face to her and play totaly different games behind her back. They pretend tht they want to be ds friends but ASK HIM TO CALL OTHERS NAMES AND AFTER THAT THEY REPORT HIM TO THE TEACHER. I was horrified when he told me that .One of them asked him even to hit the otherone and my son almost did it.Luckily the teacher observed that and punished that child. But on friday I was glad because he told me that one of the children asked him to hit the girl and he told me that he did not want that because he does not want to hit his friend. That gave me hope that he took advise which I gave him ie. not to listen to the other children who tell him to do these kind of things.

Some of them who are really nice and want to help him are put off by his behaviour or he is not very interested to play with them.

I am very fond of idea of home educatin and I did it in the past but you need to have money to pay for all kind of activities if you want your child not to be isolated (we just moved from abroad last autumn and setteling down still with jobs etc.). If the school does not help him we might consider it again in future.

[Cat]

The thing that sprang out from your post was the fact that your son has already worked some of these things out for himself This is excellent because means that he is realising that the other kids are the ones getting him into trouble. It is really very sad that other children can do this kind of thing but children can be cruel.

 

It sounds as if the teacher is trying but they also need to make an extra effort. Again without naming anyone the teacher should be telling the whole class that asking someone to hit another person because you think it is funny is another name for bullying and bullying will not be tolerated. At 9 I think that these children are well old enough to understand that.

 

You can do this positively with the school by saying that you really want to support them and that you need them to support you to. For your part you can tell your son that he never hits, name calls or does anything that can hurt someone else because a child has told him to. If you go as far as saying that the teacher is the one who makes the rules and calls the shots they for their part have to live up to the job, and that is what I mean about the school supporting you. I tried this with my youngest before we took him out and although the school were quite happy with the no hitting rule they were not so happy to listen to our son when he was telling them what the other kids were up to behind their backs. That hurt him as much as the other kids were.

 

Do the school understand that your son has a social and communication problem and that makes him vulnerable and it easy for the other children to make fun of him and also get him into trouble by using his vulnerability. If they understood his condition a little more it would make it easier for them to do their bit.

 

I share your concerns over the LSA and her take on things with the girls. We have to be soooooo careful with our children because they are socially naive. I brought in a 'no touch' at all rule when my youngest was only 6. This was because he LOVED girls and would launch himself at them and kiss them to bits. OK at six this was cute but I knew that come 16 it would not be as cute and could lead him into all-sorts of trouble. So we have a no touch rule which covers hitting and also inappropriate contact however well intentioned it was. It makes it easier for my son to keep on top of things because he only has one rules to remember. I have taught him a great deal about personal space because he tended to be in your face and in your face when he was excited. It is sad that we have to do these things but better to do them while they are young. I faced a much bigger challenge with my eldest who was not diagnosed until he was 13. It is very hard trying to make a teen socially aware and acceptable.

 

My son goes to St Johns - which is only 50p and has done for over three years now. They have all been wonderful with him. Most of the activities he attends are local and community based and most, but not all, have worked well. I write a passport for my son and give it to those running the group and they have all taken on board the info I have given them about how the autism affects my son. We have also worked hard with some of the local kids who could either take or leave my son. He now has some good friends, and I do mean good because they will now protect him if other kids try to have a go at my son. They all know that my son is autistic and have all now accepted him warts and all. We had a brilliant Garden Party for 7 kids in our back garden on Christmas Eve where we all had steaming mugs of hot chocolate, mince pies cakes and crackers, which just about sums us up I think - crackers but so far it is working for us.

 

Cat

 

 

 

[dana]

The thing that sprang out from your post was the fact that your son has already worked some of these things out for himself This is excellent because means that he is realising that the other kids are the ones getting him into trouble. It is really very sad that other children can do this kind of thing but children can be cruel.

 

It sounds as if the teacher is trying but they also need to make an extra effort. Again without naming anyone the teacher should be telling the whole class that asking someone to hit another person because you think it is funny is another name for bullying and bullying will not be tolerated. At 9 I think that these children are well old enough to understand that.

 

You can do this positively with the school by saying that you really want to support them and that you need them to support you to. For your part you can tell your son that he never hits, name calls or does anything that can hurt someone else because a child has told him to. If you go as far as saying that the teacher is the one who makes the rules and calls the shots they for their part have to live up to the job, and that is what I mean about the school supporting you. I tried this with my youngest before we took him out and although the school were quite happy with the no hitting rule they were not so happy to listen to our son when he was telling them what the other kids were up to behind their backs. That hurt him as much as the other kids were.

 

Do the school understand that your son has a social and communication problem and that makes him vulnerable and it easy for the other children to make fun of him and also get him into trouble by using his vulnerability. If they understood his condition a little more it would make it easier for them to do their bit.

 

I share your concerns over the LSA and her take on things with the girls. We have to be soooooo careful with our children because they are socially naive. I brought in a 'no touch' at all rule when my youngest was only 6. This was because he LOVED girls and would launch himself at them and kiss them to bits. OK at six this was cute but I knew that come 16 it would not be as cute and could lead him into all-sorts of trouble. So we have a no touch rule which covers hitting and also inappropriate contact however well intentioned it was. It makes it easier for my son to keep on top of things because he only has one rules to remember. I have taught him a great deal about personal space because he tended to be in your face and in your face when he was excited. It is sad that we have to do these things but better to do them while they are young. I faced a much bigger challenge with my eldest who was not diagnosed until he was 13. It is very hard trying to make a teen socially aware and acceptable.

 

My son goes to St Johns - which is only 50p and has done for over three years now. They have all been wonderful with him. Most of the activities he attends are local and community based and most, but not all, have worked well. I write a passport for my son and give it to those running the group and they have all taken on board the info I have given them about how the autism affects my son. We have also worked hard with some of the local kids who could either take or leave my son. He now has some good friends, and I do mean good because they will now protect him if other kids try to have a go at my son. They all know that my son is autistic and have all now accepted him warts and all. We had a brilliant Garden Party for 7 kids in our back garden on Christmas Eve where we all had steaming mugs of hot chocolate, mince pies cakes and crackers, which just about sums us up I think - crackers but so far it is working for us.

 

Cat

What is St. Johns? Is it some local organisation or you can find it in the other parts of Britain? I a sorry I am asking but we were abroad and lost touch.

Thanks.

[Cat]

What is St. Johns? Is it some local organisation or you can find it in the other parts of Britain? I a sorry I am asking but we were abroad and lost touch.

Thanks.

 

Sorry I should have put the name in full. St John's is the St John's Ambulance Brigade. My youngest attends their 'Badgers' where they do lots of different activities in a small group setting. I have found them to be excellent and I have some friends in different parts of the UK who also have children who have done well at St John's Ambulance Brigade.

 

Cat

 

[julie1]

I had very similar problems with my son when he was younger he never really had any friends at primary school and prfered to be on his own. we thought that was because of hi ASD. my son is older now, 13 years and he has explainned that we have got it all wrong. He would very much like to have some friends, he said that he would like the phone to ring and it was for him. He said that other children are mean and unkind to each other and they never keep to the rules of friend ship that he has been taught. He has got use to being on his own and has given up any hope of friendships, other children do talk to my son and i dont think he has any enimies, but he is a loner. He no longer pursues any friends and stays in the class at breaks. I dont think this is the answer but he is happy with what he has deciced to do. He no longer gets into fights or argues with other children. he has quitely gone away from the other children.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

One thing that I come up against is that it's easy to ask the school to observe and step in to situations. Problem is that it has to be a fine line between assisting and allowing space to become independent. Hard thing is that kids can be unkind to each other and even pick up on other's weaknesses. Don't know what the answer is, but I think a combination of strategies can help. For one thing, I think it's important that all children in a mainstream setting are taught that not everyone is the same and it's important to treat others as we'd like to be treated - in other words, educating kids. Other things like buddying, quiet playtimes, social stories, etc can all help as well. Definitely think that there has to be several strategies implemented which go hand in hand.

 

C.

[dana]

Hi

 

One thing that I come up against is that it's easy to ask the school to observe and step in to situations. Problem is that it has to be a fine line between assisting and allowing space to become independent. Hard thing is that kids can be unkind to each other and even pick up on other's weaknesses. Don't know what the answer is, but I think a combination of strategies can help. For one thing, I think it's important that all children in a mainstream setting are taught that not everyone is the same and it's important to treat others as we'd like to be treated - in other words, educating kids. Other things like buddying, quiet playtimes, social stories, etc can all help as well. Definitely think that there has to be several strategies implemented which go hand in hand.

 

C.

 

Hi again,

 

Teacher is desperate! She does not know how to help him .She asked him to get statemented. She thinks he needs one to one support. He does not do much at school at the moment. He has problems with focusing, disrupt the class, does not show respect to the teacher,he is trying to get childrens attention by calling them names(which they tought him),I think, because he finds work very hard.He does not know how to get childrens attention . He is refered to the learning mentor to help him socialise and hopefully this will happen soon. ..

I feel so confused,overwehelmed, all over te place, emotional,desperate et. etc. and they even havent started getting him statemented yet! Although we are aware of our sons problems, I am sooooo much afraid of the process of staementing.I know this means getting help for ds but I understand that it is a lengthy and stressful prosedure. I really dont know whether I can deal with it. I feel I do not have strangth, ability to cope. I understand I have to fight for my son and I feel I dont know how. I always felt that I was somehow different but now seeing my ssons problems, I suspect that myself has some traits of autism .I am naive,honest, not being able to properly asses some life situation and to stand my ground when needed because lack of confidence.I dont know what to say,how to say ,how to fight fr my son .Ifeel paralised and want to die. Maybe they will say that I am not a good mother and take my son away .I love him to bits and trying very hard to help him but maybe i is not good enough. Is statementing process realy that hard and stressfull or I am amplifying it? Is it really worth all of that? Does it really help or it is like you get statmented but die in the process? More statementing experiances, please!

[gemgems77]

dana ,i really feel for you at moment reading your post as this is simuliar to what is happening to my son,in respeact that the other children are getting him to do things like hitting the other children etc and my ds is not realising they are getting him into troubble ,he is 5 but on the larger side and the kids forget this and when he does hit them he really hurts them many ice packs ...and then go running into the teacher ,fortunetly they have seen the whole thing so they know its not all down to him ,but as a parent this really hurt me that they were doing this to him .i cant give you any advice on what to do as i am in early stages of getting him statmented and slowly sorting out many of his problems but you are not alone and just wanteted you to know i am thinking of you.....

[chris54]

Sorry I should have put the name in full. St John's is the St John's Ambulance Brigade. My youngest attends their 'Badgers' where they do lots of different activities in a small group setting. I have found them to be excellent and I have some friends in different parts of the UK who also have children who have done well at St John's Ambulance Brigade.

 

Cat

 

We tried the St Johns but we must have been unlucky as the meetings we went to just seemed to chaotic and noisy.My son just did not want to know.

 

Don't know if there are any near where we now live, but if there are might give it another go.

[dana]

dana ,i really feel for you at moment reading your post as this is simuliar to what is happening to my son,in respeact that the other children are getting him to do things like hitting the other children etc and my ds is not realising they are getting him into troubble ,he is 5 but on the larger side and the kids forget this and when he does hit them he really hurts them many ice packs ...and then go running into the teacher ,fortunetly they have seen the whole thing so they know its not all down to him ,but as a parent this really hurt me that they were doing this to him .i cant give you any advice on what to do as i am in early stages of getting him statmented and slowly sorting out many of his problems but you are not alone and just wanteted you to know i am thinking of you.....

 

Thank you, gemgems77!

 

dana