Beccy03 Report post Posted March 21, 2009 My daughter has been refusing school for 6 months now and has only been in erratically for odd days here and there. Her biggest problems are social and emotional ones although there are some significant learning problems. She hasnt yet recieved formal diagnosis and is not statemented but is believed to have aspergers and be dyslexic also. School have been very understanding and accomodating and recently it was agreeded that she should attend school for one hour per day and do work at home set by school. Sadly we are unable to keep this up as the distress at getting to school each day is ending in tears and tantrums and ultimately she doesnt make it there. she is then also not in a fit state mentally to co-operate and study at home. I am more and more leaning towards the idea of de-registering even though there is ongoing help and support for us. I feel very strongly as a mother that i dont want to see her go through so much trauma and it is also having an effect on the whole family. My instincts just say this is all wrong. However, all of our family and friends including my best friend and my husband and parents and parents in law would all oppose baking out of formal education and frankly im scared of being responsible for this decision. What can anybody advise? My daughter is 10. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westie Report post Posted March 21, 2009 My daughter has been refusing school for 6 months now and has only been in erratically for odd days here and there. Her biggest problems are social and emotional ones although there are some significant learning problems. She hasnt yet recieved formal diagnosis and is not statemented but is believed to have aspergers and be dyslexic also. School have been very understanding and accomodating and recently it was agreeded that she should attend school for one hour per day and do work at home set by school. Sadly we are unable to keep this up as the distress at getting to school each day is ending in tears and tantrums and ultimately she doesnt make it there. she is then also not in a fit state mentally to co-operate and study at home. I am more and more leaning towards the idea of de-registering even though there is ongoing help and support for us. I feel very strongly as a mother that i dont want to see her go through so much trauma and it is also having an effect on the whole family. My instincts just say this is all wrong. However, all of our family and friends including my best friend and my husband and parents and parents in law would all oppose baking out of formal education and frankly im scared of being responsible for this decision. What can anybody advise? My daughter is 10. <'> <'> <'> for you, it souds very overwhelming to me, and a big decision for you to make on your own. Have yr family stated the reasons behind their not thinking this is best step? What do they think are other possible solutions if that case? Do they acknowledge her diagnosis? Do you think that you can cope at home with her "full time" (thought sounds like you are anyway and having to deal with lots of stress caused by school situation? Is she okay at home otherwise? (if her bahaviour is a big issue it may be hard to deal with all the time) could you get respite from SS, or a home tutor for part of the time? Would another school be more suitable? I know there are others on here who are home educating/ or who have home educated and think this is best and may be able to give you some more advice and support. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
westie Report post Posted March 21, 2009 (edited) lots of questions in my reply sorry but just wanted to get a better picture. Edited March 21, 2009 by westie Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted March 21, 2009 (edited) First of all I would push for a full dx, then you will know exactly what you are dealing with, plus it will strengthen your position with your LA and clarify the appropriate provision your DD needs. So if it was me, first stop GP to explain the situation, and ask for a referral for a full assessment with a view to an accurate dx. Educational options: 1. Staying in mainstream school with a Statement to reflect and support her educational needs. 2. Moving to a special school (from what you say probably what used to be called MLD, but more often called Complex Learning Difficulties these days), ditto Statement. 3. Looking at a residential special school if you feel your DD needs a 24 hour curriculum to support her social and emotional difficulties too, ditto Statement. 4. Home Ed. A big undertaking. Some families say it's the best thing they have ever done. Look at the various sites on-line to get an idea of what it entails. I'm sure others will be along to fill in any gaps! HTH Bid Edited March 21, 2009 by bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beccy03 Report post Posted March 21, 2009 thanks. we are awaiting a full assessment for the aspergers but are on a waiting list. school can clarify the dx for dyslexia but only if she is in school which at the moment she isnt. i wonder if paying privately for a diagnosis would help? i just cant carry on like this for another 6 months let alone the 2 years we have been told we will wait for assesment. our local CAMHS have been seeing her regularly and say she has AS but she has been refered to another agency for a full assesment- its them we are waiting for. Autism outreach have bumped her up the list so to speak so they can help her in school but its no good if i cant get her there. i really doubt that a residential option would be right for us even though its a 24 hour job looking after her with lots of difficulties and often abuse - i just dont think any of us would like to break the family up like that. total respect to those who have chosen that option though. we would consider a more appropriate school environment but that would mean travelling and she is quite afraid of travelling in the car with us i certainly dont think she could get in the car or on a bus with a stranger and we are not able to transport her on a daily basis. i dont drive and hub goes to work in our car. im not trying to be difficult btw im just clarifying our situation <'> im a bit of a hippy at heart i think- we like to grow veggies, keep chuckies and go on wildlife walks etc, i have an interest in the arts and creative projects and my husband is quite academic as is our eldest daughter so im sure we could do what is required- its just such a 'biggie' and just because im a bit compulsive i need to add a ninja turtle because thats just so cool sorry oh well gotta have a sense of humour. thanks for all the comments so far. x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
