Suze Report post Posted March 27, 2009 My son is 13 yrs, a big lad, tall weighs about 10 stone size 9 feet , anyhow all this week he has left his packed lunch, maybe just eaten a biscuit.Hes eaten breakfast which is good, last night he reused his tea aswell.I,ve asked at every occurence why hes not eaten his dinner but he just says hes not hungry and does,nt feel like it.Today hes told us not to make a packed lunch as he won,t eat it.Which then raised a big discussion, we asked if he was worried about anything, feeling ill, conscious of his size etc (hes not fat but has a puppy fat type belly iyswim)and I,ve offered him healthy options etc which he still says he does,nt want.I,ve spoke to school as well and am waiting to hear back.Just wondered if anyones child of similar age went through a phase like this.I,m wondering if hes conscious of growing up and is un-nerved at the changes, which makes me feel the problem could be puberty and all that entails Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sally44 Report post Posted March 27, 2009 Have you contacted school to make sure there hasn't been any increase in bad behaviour, or being taken out of class, or have they recently discussed food in school. Have there been any changes in staff/pupils or environment etc. It might be around puberty, if he is concerned about body changes. Can you speak to a professional who could advise you on a book or video you could discuss together? If he is refusing explain to him how the body uses food. That might help him understand that he has to eat. If he has alot of sensory issues he might have times when he doesn't feel internal sensations such as hunger or thirst. My son can flutuate between the two ie. always feeling hungry and grazing throughout the day, or not ask to eat anything at all. If he does have some weight on him, see if you can find some kind of activity that he would enjoy eg. trampoline class, or rock climbing, or swimming, or martial arts. Small group and one to one activities tend to work better. Try to get an agreement between him that at every meal time he will eat something even if he doesn't feel hungry. I don't know if any medical condition could cause these symptoms, you could discuss it with your doctor if the behaviour is continuing. But the prospects of tests is often scary. Infact, sometimes if my son is refusing something ie. to eat or drink or wash or take medicine, or go to the dentist etc, I tell him that if he doesn't comply he will have to have tests done that might include a needle. Its cruel, but sometimes he is just so rigid that that is the only thing that works. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted March 27, 2009 Hi, it maybe that a friend or couple of kids have commented on his weight, its all it takes sometimes for someone to want to loose the puppy fat, he is 13 and going throw a lot of peer pressure, it was reported the other day that more and more boys are being pressured into having a very lean, muscles, no fat bod, many boys get more into fitness and a new drive to want to pump the weights, problem is though is there bodies are still developing and growing and could cause contributing problems as they get closer to adulthood, boys I think are vulnerable today to the pressures of looking good, it has been girls we worry about but boys are beginning to feel the pressure too, I would talk to him defo about his eating issues and that by not eating all the body will do is store the fat, eventually it will go, but once he eats again he will just put it all back on, loosing weight in moderation, over a slow pace is better with a few fitness routine that doesnt interfer with his growing and developing body is better. I would just prepare him the healthy option menu and hope that he eats it, hopefully the mouthwatering steak salad will be too tempting and he will eat it. Keep a diary of what he eats for a few weeks, keep to frequent smaller portions if he is refusing MEALS. JsMumxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chris54 Report post Posted March 27, 2009 How much is he eating. Most of us eat a lot more than we really need to survive. If it is a sudden chang in his eating habits there could be something behind it. The root cause of a lot of eating disorders in children is a fear of growing up. I would not rush to any conclusions but just see how it pans out over the next few weeks. My 8 year old son goes through phases of not eating much. And he only weight just over 3 stone, Im so use to it now that I dont worry any more. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted March 27, 2009 Apparently Children are given the same size plate as Adults and it is just too much, I personally feel also that Dinner Plates have got LARGER and so we pile the food on to fill it up, it may be better to look at the quantaty of his meals, so thats a good point chris, I personally am a slim person, but lately its been well very cold and Ive acumalated a bit of fat which I am sure is to do its job for my body, which is to keep me warm, Ive found it a lot more difficult this winter to keep insulated and so bought extra layers, Ive also had the central heating on for longer periods so maybe his puppy fat is just there to help him keep warm, once this cold spell has passed he will naturally loose the puppyness. Fat is essential for us as much as its dangerous to have too much, having too little can cause other circulation propblems. JsMumxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 27, 2009 Hiya shortstuff <'> In the short (haha) term I'd just go with the flow.... My guess it probably all links in with teenage stuff that's getting to him that no matter how much you might want him to discuss it with you and how great you would be at doing that with him he just doesn't feel 'comfy' talking to you about. Could be some comments he's had from others at school, could be something he's just made a big issue of in his own head, could even be one of them strange 'girl' things he's just started noticing on the playground. He may actually be eating more than you think - just not at the usual times/situations. Wait and see if he does lose any of that puppy-pot, and if he does whether he seems happy or unhappy about it (if he's 'sensibly' happy no worries, if he's 'obsessively happy' maybe time to start thinking of a back up plan). Hope that helps. BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted March 27, 2009 Suze, <'> <'> It's a bit worrying but see how it goes over the weekend - it could be school related. L never ate at school at all. K x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted March 27, 2009 Have been in touch with school today, were going down the route of playing it down, he did,nt eat his dinner today but had his tea.A girl has taken an interest in him and shes told him she fancies him , I think hes a little confused about stuff.I think hes becoming aware of himself and how hes percieved, theres a lad in the unit who gets teased as he is large and I think this is troubling him.Thanks for your help <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 27, 2009 Have been in touch with school today, were going down the route of playing it down, he did,nt eat his dinner today but had his tea.A girl has taken an interest in him and shes told him she fancies him , I think hes a little confused about stuff.I think hes becoming aware of himself and how hes percieved, theres a lad in the unit who gets teased as he is large and I think this is troubling him.Thanks for your help <'> Girls! Told ya!! Three most effective diet plans - 3 - New romance 2 - End of a romance 1 - Unrequited love. (may not be quite as 'crash/extreme as 2 & 3 but may be long term). Now what you really really really have to avoid - no matter how cute you think it is etc etc - is pointing at him and singing ****** and ****** sitting in a tree/K.i.s.s.i.n.g. Best as always, and hope he's got his head around it all soon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted March 28, 2009 <'> ..............poor lad is so worried hes done something wrong Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted March 28, 2009 <'> ..............poor lad is so worried hes done something wrong Well if he's doing something wrong and it gets all the laydeez fancying him can he PM me the details! Reassure him he's doing okay, and the gitrl just likes him for who he is... sadly, at that age it'll probably last about two weeks, and just as he's starting to come round to the idea that her liking him isn't such a bad thing she'll have transfered her affections onto his best mate He will then go on 'crash diet 2' for a wee while L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
