Hi all

[DazedandConfused]

Hi All,

 

Mid 40's, diagnosed Aspergic when son was while he having problems at school, although we kept it off the paperwork in case such things count against us at a later date.

 

Am going through a bit of a weird time at the moment, partly, I think due to the age I'm at, but mainly through the insanely good memory I've had since as far as I can remember. I find that I can remember ridiculous amounts of detail from the last 40 odd years regarding all sorts of stuff good and bad. Not only the kind of important or life changing events that people around me seem to remember from their lives but stupid amounts of trivia like conversations and minor events that don't stand out from the background yet I can hardly remember what day of the week it is. When I talk to people who were about some of these events, they don't remember at all. Good long term memory sounds good but it's like being haunted. To be honest, it's doing my head in and I want to know is this normal for Aspergers or just normal.

 

One thing from 1984 (nothing dodgy) is driving me nuts and I don't know what to do because I think the other person involved would have a) forgotten it soon after the event and moved on probably doesn't even remember it anyway.

 

I started off just wanting to say hello but got carried away.

[Kathryn]

Welcome to the forum.

 

I think memory for details of conversations can be a feature of AS. I think remembering seemingly trivial events in one's life is maybe just part of being human? Memory is an asset but obviously not for you at the moment if you are brooding on things in the past that you have no power to change! As for the event in 1984, it may not be a significant memory for the other person involved and it may not be possible or appropriate to mention it to them, but perhaps writing it all down, just for yourself, might bring some kind of closure? Just a thought.

 

K x

[DazedandConfused]

Welcome to the forum.

 

I think memory for details of conversations can be a feature of AS. I think remembering seemingly trivial events in one's life is maybe just part of being human? Memory is an asset but obviously not for you at the moment if you are brooding on things in the past that you have no power to change! As for the event in 1984, it may not be a significant memory for the other person involved and it may not be possible or appropriate to mention it to them, but perhaps writing it all down, just for yourself, might bring some kind of closure? Just a thought.

 

K x

 

[DazedandConfused]

Hiya

 

I must admit I was kinda thinking that the inappropriate nature of action may be the the clincher. At school and beyond I put up with a lot of hassle and for years and couldn't understand why. It was during the consultation for my boy that everything started to make sense and I realised that the people I was at school with were not sadists but that I just wasn't behaving by the unwritten rules.

 

I think half the problem is the clarifying nature of hindsight. I've spent a lot of time studying psychology and trying to see the world from the other side and now "understand"(ish) how the world has seen me.

 

Sorry to be so heavy on a first post but I just feel the need to get this off my chest and the nature of the situation excludes those around me.

[Lisa40]

Welcome.

 

I think the memory may be an AS trait. My daughter (16) will frequently bring up conversations we had when she was 7 or 8 or even younger and mention something that I said or did that I have absolutely no recollection of because it was so small or trivial.

[DazedandConfused]

Welcome.

 

I think the memory may be an AS trait. My daughter (16) will frequently bring up conversations we had when she was 7 or 8 or even younger and mention something that I said or did that I have absolutely no recollection of because it was so small or trivial.

 

 

Hiya,

 

I Think you're probably right. By the time I was 4, I could name just about every plane that flew in WW2. It sounds weird thinking back but that was my thing from the age of about 3 to 16 (Dad was a pilot in the Med). I remember being with my mum and having a conversation with a WW2 RAF veteran who was selling paintings of WW2 planes in the local Library. I was aged 4 and he was stunned that I could name every one including identifying version numbers.

 

It sounds like a fantastic talent but the problem is not only being able to remember things but feeling the same as you did when they happened and I didn't have a very fun time as a kid as I was seen as weird, not that I knew that at the time.

 

Thanks for the replies, I don't find it easy talking to people about the past. I've put a lot of effort into trying to bury it and it's becoming obvious that that approach isn't working. Maybe I just need to deal with it.

 

Thanks again.

 

J

[pookie170]

I never realised that great memory can be an aspect of AS! Wow....that explains why my son can not only remember masses of things vividly, but why he wants to go over them again and again, and why he reacts to his memories the way he does........

 

J, perhaps it would help to write down everything about this troublesome memory that's bothering you, get it all out on paper but don't give it to the person involved.

You could even try burning it (safely!! )- I know that I've found this process cathartic. Or if you simply must discuss it, pick someone you trust completely (like a spouse, parent, best friend etc) and get it off your chest.

Whether anyone thinks it trivial or not, its obviously stressing you out and that's not healthy....

 

Anyhoo, welcome to the forum!

 

Esther x

[gaijin]

Hi there,

 

Just stumbled upon this post today. There is no question that having AS can commonly mean having a remarkable apptitude for remembering detail (this subject is dealt with in a lot of AS literature, e.g Tony Attwoods latest book). Both important and not so important detail with ability to recite excact quotation from conversations of years gone by. Personally this extends to the precise position of where all concerned were standing and in what direction they were facing when certain things were said and mannerisms when saying said things.

On the other issue you raised about being stuck on a certain memory......I find the easiest way to purge yourself of such a distraction is to voice it to another human. When I do that it tends to highlight its trivial foundation and dissapear.

 

Belated reply but hope it helps!