Making contact with other children

[Squirrel]

Robin seems to be getting set in a 'phase' of hitting or kicking children, gently but persistently, in order to make contact with them/get attention/ something ....

 

I looked like we were going to have to impose a 'rule' of No Touching in School (preschool) but when I discussed this with Robin he said

"but Lena likes to hold hands with me"

Don't know if she actually does, or just tolerates him, but I don't want to take him away from any social contact he does have!

 

We've come up with a Social Story as follows

(It's far too wordy, bearing in mind he's only 4, but I'm struggling with this! Especially as he keeps wanting me to put more of his ideas in!)

 

Making Contact

 

When I want to talk to or play with somebody, I can,

Say their name (picture - Matt (family friend, not kid at school) in a speech bubble, he's been practising this with Matt all weekend)

Notice something (beads on string and loose) pretty beads

Say what you want (picture - speech bubble "Play trains with me, please" picture of train)

Ask them something Excuse me, I want to pass, please

 

I will try to ask before touching

Shall we chase? and catch each other? (picture - stick people chasing and hugging)

I'd like to hold hands with you (picture - hands interlocked)

I like tickling, tickle me! (picture - attempt at a clawed hand, like a spider!)

 

 

 

Does anyone else have any ideas? comments?

experience handling this reaching out for social contact in an inappropriate way?

Many thanks, Helen

[Boy]

I'm not sure if this will help, but...

 

I am autistic and I work in a school. My main job is to look after an autistic five year old during lunchtime (supervise him specifically in the playgound, take him in to lunch). Since I started working there, and because he is my 'friend' the other children will now follow my lead and play with him, or even attempt to look after him. This means he gets more contact with the children. It also means I can mediate (letting children know if they're being too rough with him, and vice versa, or explaining to them if he touches them that he is being nice - he's a very caring and gentle child) so that children aren't upset by him touching them.

 

Perhaps you could get someone at your son's pre-school to mediate and start up some physical games (ring a roses, perhaps, for hand holding?) so that your son can physically interact with the other children in a structured way?

 

I sometimes play chase in the playground, and I've noticed that the autistic boy I look after will sometimes stop or actually run at me instead of away so that he can have a hug.

[Sally44]

I agree with the above post.

What you are trying to do is helpful. But it really should not be down to you to be doing it. When he is in nursery/school he is supposed to be supported by professionals who have experience and expertise in autism. That would include addressing his social interaction and play skills.

You may well have to fight and put your foot down to get it. But difficulties with social interaction and play skills are part of the diagnosis. Therefore it is a need, and therefore they have to meet that need in school.

My son's school have used alot of things to improve his social interaction, conversation and play skills.

This began with a clip on his trousers of different picture symbols that he could point to.

The school also teachers all the children (it's a mixed mainstream/SEN school) sign language. So, eventhough he only joined the school at age 8 they have taught him some sign language that he can use if he feels unable to talk.

He goes to a Social Skills Club where they practice social skills such as conversation, joining in, asking questions. They also have social stories about things like being a good friend etc.

He has support in the playground from a TA. This was initially during one playtime and he has on-going access to dinnertime clubs.

His Social Interaction and Play skills are frequently monitored to record whether he is using skills in the playground and whether he is joining in and playing.

They have taught him ways of initiating contact such as working on recognising the children in his class by name. Then teaching him to shout their name to get their attention. Previously he might have tried to grab them or shouted 'excuse me'.

[baddad]

Hi squirrel -

 

I think the social story is a very good idea, but I think you may have made it a bit too specific by giving details of the kinds of conversations he might have and including pictures of people known to him.

If you can generalise the SS as much as possible it would probably be more helpful, because at the moment he's seeing it as 'his' social story (and 'rules of engagement') rather than a set of social expectations that apply to all of the children on the playground. I would also very strongly reinforce the message that Children (generally) should not try to attract the attention of others by kicking, poking or pushing and explaining why (because the other child might misunderstand and feel hurt/upset, or not like that kind of attention or may just not want to play), especially if that escalates in any way beyond 'gentle nudges' as frustration creeps in...

I agree partially with sally44's point that there should be teachers/staff around to guide him, but the onus has to be on him (unless he's going to have someone hovering over him every minute of the day) and on parent's too because they are the child's most significant role models and should be reinforcing this stuff in and out of school. Teachers/staff should be doing everything they can to help him understand/interpret the message, but not taking or shouldering the responsibility for him, which is ultimately disabling.

 

Hope that helps

 

L&P

 

BD

 

PS: Yonks ago I posted some links in resources section to sites offering social story templates and guidelines etc, and I know other members posted similar stuff there too. Well worth a 'search' in the resources section using social stories as the keywords.

 

[Sally44]

No you can't have someone hovering around the child 24/7.

But what happened with my son was that he would have a target in his MEP eg. to initiate social interaction. And we (myself, school and SALT) would discuss what his major difficulties were. One of these was that my son did not use anyones name to get their attention. This is a very important social skill. In the playground when children are running around, if you don't shout the name of the child you will not be able to get their attention. So the SALT drew up a programme which started by showing him pictures of a small group of children in his classroom and helped him learn their names. In the Social Skills Group each child had to bring an object in that they could talk about and which the other children could ask questions about. They would teach the children how to ask a question using the child's name first to get their attention. Then that skill would be generalised out into the playground with a TA initially helping and prompting the child to use the names of the other children and would record whether the child was able to do that with prompting. Then gradually, the prompting would be reduced until the child was seen to be independent.

The idea is to explicitly teach a new skill in a one to one context and then gradully generalise it out into other environments and with other people. In that way the skill taught becomes more widely used. This approach is usually successful.