Aspergers and a tweenie phew!

[blueberrymuffin]

Hi,

 

I have just joined this forum after being refered by my mums' friend.

 

I am a single parent, with an 11 year son with a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome.

 

I'd thought I'd join to see if there were any other parents entering this latest phase of their lives.

 

So far, so good, I have managed to cope well with whatever has been thrown at me, however lately with physical changes happening and his lack of "opening" up, i am foreseeing alot of bumpy roads ahead.

 

would love to hear from any likewise parents out there who are approching or even experiencing the tweenie stage.

 

 

[mygifts1306]

hi, when you say tweenie, do you mean Teenage Phew. Perhaps better to rephrase your topic.I joined a last week and i already feel like i found a family, they are all amazing here.

kind regards

 

[blueberrymuffin]

Hi,

 

yes, even my son calls himself a "tweenie" as in pre teen. He heard a friend of mine call her son it and it has stuck now.

 

I have found the site really informative just by reading past threads.

 

 

 

[JsMum]

 

 

Hi blueberrymuffen my son is 12 nearly walking in the TEEN shoes, thinks hes already there somedays with his TEEN ATTITUDE hopefully we can prospone for a bit longer, though he is nearly a TEENager he is developmentally a 8 or 9yr old, he has ASD and comorbids and mental health disorders he is a handful already, cant bare to think of the Teenage years really, trying to put it off for as long as possible, the funniest thing is watching him litritally grow, they really do go throw a growth spurt dont they.

 

Anyway lovely to meet you and welcome to the forum

 

JsMumxxxx

 

[blueberrymuffin]

Hi,

 

Great to meet you Jsmum.

 

My son too is a very young 11. still acts like a 8 year old aswell.Which if I am honest I like, the innocence, still enjoy trips to the park and hanging out with his mum playing board games and just being a kid. The thing that makes me giggle still is how when we are out he likes to chase pigeons and then reenact being one, he has been doing that since very young, although I can forsee him still doing that a 15yr!!!

 

He is a big lad for his age and so very strong, he is eye level with me and I know in a few years I shall be standing on the bottom step of the stairs to even look him in the eye.

 

how is yours coping with the physical changes, mine sees it as a science project, he is always reading books on biology. His main weakness are the communication and social side of the coin and he does find it upsetting expressing himself, but that is something together we can work through.

 

xx

[JsMum]

Hi, Blueberrymuffin,

 

Yes my son is beginning to realise he is growing from a boy to a youth, he says he wants to stay a boy, he doesnt want spots and I tell you his body functions are something biology defo, I have a book on ASD and Adolescence and it does go into pubity and sexuality a bit, but Im searching for more, maybe ones for J to have a look at.

 

My son is only just beginning to get a bit embarrassed by my presance in front of his freinds, J does require full time supervisions so he needs someone with him at all times, I back off a bit and make sure I can see him, and intervene if things are getting unsafe but other than that I can see he is requesting more independance.

 

Yet at home I cant go to the loo or put out the bins without him knowing where I am otherwise if I do slip out to the bins and he doesnt know where I am or Im in the loo he goes absaloutly frantic shouting Mam, in real a panic.

 

I guess the next phase is going to be an intesting physiology lesson, my son is really into his adolescent shoes thoug, he is tall and lanky too, I know he has about 2 inches to go and he will be taller than me, Im average height for a lady, but he is easily going to be taller than me, he is a spit image of his dad who was 6ft 3inches.

 

I have to buy new trainers regularly because of the growth spurt, he hates new shoes and clothes due to sensory intregration disorder but when they grow at this rate it cant be helped.

 

Maybe we should start a topic on adolecence and pubity on the general topics as it could be interesting.

 

J does the same with the pigeons too, he does a lot of things that his friends just look at him oddly but they also like that side of him, he has a fantastic personality and he has an attitude where he doesnt care what others think, sure is innocence.

 

 

JsMumxxxx

 

Edited October 28, 2009 by JsMum

[blueberrymuffin]

Hi, Blueberrymuffin,

 

Yes my son is beginning to realise he is growing from a boy to a youth, he says he wants to stay a boy, he doesnt want spots and I tell you his body functions are something biology defo, I have a book on ASD and Adolescence and it does go into pubity and sexuality a bit, but Im searching for more, maybe ones for J to have a look at.

 

My son is only just beginning to get a bit embarrassed by my presance in front of his freinds, J does require full time supervisions so he needs someone with him at all times, I back off a bit and make sure I can see him, and intervene if things are getting unsafe but other than that I can see he is requesting more independance.

 

Yet at home I cant go to the loo or put out the bins without him knowing where I am otherwise if I do slip out to the bins and he doesnt know where I am or Im in the loo he goes absaloutly frantic shouting Mam, in real a panic.

 

I guess the next phase is going to be an intesting physiology lesson, my son is really into his adolescent shoes thoug, he is tall and lanky too, I know he has about 2 inches to go and he will be taller than me, Im average height for a lady, but he is easily going to be taller than me, he is a spit image of his dad who was 6ft 3inches.

 

I have to buy new trainers regularly because of the growth spurt, he hates new shoes and clothes due to sensory intregration disorder but when they grow at this rate it cant be helped.

 

Maybe we should start a topic on adolecence and pubity on the general topics as it could be interesting.

 

J does the same with the pigeons too, he does a lot of things that his friends just look at him oddly but they also like that side of him, he has a fantastic personality and he has an attitude where he doesnt care what others think, sure is innocence.

 

 

JsMumxxxx

 

[blueberrymuffin]

Hi,

 

whoops I quoted your last reply!!!!!

 

It is sooooo good knowing that there are other kids out that with the same quirks.

 

Your reply made me giggle as I can completely sympathise with you. K is a nightmare I'll tell him I'm going down to the tumble dryer in the garage or taking the bins out and he too, freaks out if I am not within 10 feet of him!! I think he just acknowledges what I said but then it soon escapes him.

 

it is so hard. letting them have some independance, if in the park and K is playing and I see other kids I am watching like a hawk trying not to make it obvious that I'm ready to intervene at any time. I want to protect but at the same time let him know that if he needs me I am close by.

 

k, used to hate news clothes or shoes, and I remember many a time a trip to clarks or a clothes shop, was such a big deal and the looks I would get from other people, used to make me want to cry inside. I don't know much about SID (we have only really focused on the AS) Lately K is one size smaller than me in shoes and alas for a joke to make clothes shopping fun in the changing room I tried on his jeans (he's a big lad and I'm a small mum!!!!) to assure him it was fine to have new clothes, ok ok I can't forever do that but its our way of getting him to accept new stuff and for us it works.

 

I can definately say, that this age is proving to be the hardest but the most rewarding, hard as in kids that age have a tough time going through puberty but throw in AS, SID, ADHD or any other and it makes it much more harder. I know we are all going to have some really really good times along with the bad, but what a great job being a parent is, I wouldn't change K for the world...ok maybe a small detail.....the large collection of glasses left in his room everyday......

 

What a fab idea to have a seperate section just for puberty, there are so many out there who would benefit, I know have just by knowing someone else is going through the same things.

 

xx

Edited October 28, 2009 by blueberrymuffin