ASD at work

[got the tshirt]

At the pre-school that I work in we have a little boy with an asd dx, he is brilliant and has come on soo much recently, one of the targets on his iep is to begin to share certain things. This is something that he finds hard because if there is a set of something he likes to have the whole set. Anyway to cut along story short, today we had this woman from Early Years in to see us about something and she was watching me while I was doing apainting activity with the little chap. He had 2 paints and another boy had 2 and I was swapping them over to show him that he can still use all the colours but someone else can use them too. Anyway he was having a flap but was not crying or vocalising like he does when he is upset. Then the woman from Early years came over to me and said "in order to meet his needs, you need to give him all the paints, because he wants all the paints." I was so upset I can be over sensitive at times but this really upset me because we have worked soooo hard with this little chap and we are all very fond of him. He loves to come to pre-school and comes in spinning and laughing everytime.

I went out side to get the bikes out and calm down. I am still upset about what do you all think?

[Kathryn]

I don't really know much about the early years set up, but it seems to me as a visitor who parachuted in with an incomplete understanding of the situation she should have kept her mouth shut, at least until afterwards when she could have asked you to explain why you were doing that and discussed it with you.

 

I would have been furious had it been me and for what it's worth it sounds as though you are doing the right thing - not just for him, but for all the children. Doesn't the other child deserve to have his needs met too - or is he just supposed to stand by while someone else hogs all the paints? Ignore her, I would.

 

K x

 

 

[NickyB]

Then the woman from Early years came over to me and said "in order to meet his needs, you need to give him all the paints, because he wants all the paints."

 

I'm no expert but I don't think that's going to help him in the long term. Although he's only young, he is going to have to learn how to get on in the real world, and we don't always get what we want. I think the earlier you can try to teach these skills, the better. Seems to me that you are doing a great job.

 

Nicky

[got the tshirt]

Do you know what Nicky that's just what I thought, We are really sensitive to his moods and try to only do new stuff or hard stuff like sharing if he is receptive and not distressed. There are times when he gets upset but we move on and always reward him for taking part.

The Lea Spec needs person who comes to see him wrote his IEP with his Mum and our SENCO. And they all agree that exposing him to sharing is a good thing even if he never gets the hang of it.

 

Kathryn I was furious I love working with children with spec needs, but it only takes one stupid misinformed person to spoil someone else's day. Hence the reason I went outside, what was quite funny though was that 2 minutes later the little chap followed me out and we had a great game playing with his shadow.

[Sally44]

I think you need to have a good understanding of the child and be able to see how they are coping. If the child is not coping with the idea of sharing or taking turns then I presume you would move them onto something else. However, although you say he was flapping etc, he seemed to cope with what was happening. So you are probably doing the right thing. Depending on his ability to understand language I presume you can also model the language at the same time to explain what is going on.

At my son's primary school I did have an issue because they always wanted him to 'share' and 'take turns'. He could not cope with that all the time. The advisory teacher said that sometimes he needs to have something himself and know that he can play with it without being afraid that someone might come over and try to join in or take over. These were times used as a reward, or as a way of helping him relax. But there were other specific times when he would play games and have to share or take turns with an adult and one other child.

One thing that did upset me once was when a TA told me that my son had got out the box of dinosaur duplo at playtime and was building a robot with the bricks (robots were all he did for a while). Then two other children came over and wanted to build a dinosaur, so the TA let them take over, take apart his robot and and tried to encourage my son to join in with them building the dinosaur. Well all hell broke loose, and she complained to me that he had tried to hit her and had thrown duplo bricks at her. At the time he was not at a developmental stage to be able to do that. So many skills were needed for him to cope with that, and he didn't have them at that time.

But I agree that a child has to learn that they don't always get everything they want.

I'd try not to take it personally. Afterall you may never see them again!

One final thought is that it would also depend on what the painting was trying to achieve. For example my son never drew or painted or picked up a pencil until he started school. If the purpose of the painting was to encourage him to paint and improve his hand control skills, then it would probably be better to have everything needed to hand, otherwise the ASD child might experience anxiety etc around the 'sharing' issue, when that is not the point of the exercise and that may cause them to fixate on that so that you do not achieve anything.

[got the tshirt]

I am not surprised your son was upset sally44, I think most children would not tolerate this kind of "sharing", whether they had an asd dx or not.

The painting we were doing was a free activity, most of the activities at our group are like this, we have one adult led activity each day which is topic based and the children choose whether they take part in this or not, all other activites are free choice including indoor/ outdoor play.

The staff move around and interact with the children as they play.

The little chap concerned loves colours and I was talking to him and the other little boy about the names of the colours.

I do agree that sharing is a really tough issue and am having massive problems with it at home with my own Dd3.

I am going to ignore the early years woman because I am really lucky to work in such a lovely setting.

[Tally]

I think the visiting Early Years woman is getting confused between needs and wants. I want lots of things, but it doesn't mean everyone has to provide them for me just because I have a disability.

[purplehaze]

Hello, I also work in the early years (SENCO) with children who have various needs including ASD- it is our job to make sure all the children's needs are being met! You seem to understand what is needed to meet all the children's needs in your setting. You are so right children can learn to take turns if it is done in a way that isn't distressing and you are doing that. You should have told her that it is a target on his IEP and you are meeting his needs by teaching him to take turns and share in a responsible way without making it distressing for him and all professionals and parents have been involved in making it. Don't worry about what she said she isn't there all of the time and you are doing what is best for the child. I know how difficult it can be sometimes when other professionals come in and seem to put you down-don't worry about it and continue your good work.

[got the tshirt]

Hi purplehaze, you are right my manager said that I should have said that sharing is on his IEP, The trouble is I have a tendancy to be outspoken and what I say can often be misinterpreted, so I am working really hard at being careful what I say and to whom I say it. That is why I chose to walk away today.

Thanx for the support though.

[cmuir]

Hi

 

It's sounds to me like the early years woman wadded in without having known about the work that you've been doing with him. In fact, I believe, you've taught this little fella a valuable life skill - sharing. Giving him all the paints isn't teaching him a thing other than he gets what he wants, which certainly isn't going to do him any favours. Professionals get things wrong sometimes and so it's no unreasonable for you to be upset.

 

Caroline.