Please help!!

[JsMum]

I have done all I can, I have tried my hardest for this kid just like I would have done had one of my kids had AS. ME ALONE!! JUST ME! NO-ONE ELSE!

Is that not enough? His Dad probably has AS too and yet I have stuck around for 10 years with no emotional support in fact no support of any kind.

WHY?

I just don't know

I know I'm incredibly sad that it's all been for nothing, I didn't want to walk away from this, I'm also incredibly sad that this child isn't going to get the proper help and guidance purely because no matter who I ask, who I talk to, who I shout at, wherever I have gone to try and get help I just get no-where.

I suppose I can reconcile myself that (whatever you may think) while I was here he had a better life than had he just been left with his Dad. At least he got fed properly, got help with homework, got in the right school, got clothes that fit him, got to go on days out (none of these things he got before I came along).

And he got a dx, no-one had a clue about AS here, they just thought he was allergic to orange juice (LMAO).

 

Anyway, you can lock this topic now, I'm done.

We all feel at times we have done all we can, but if you give up now then your step son wont get the support he needs now and in the future, have you tried NSPCC then, did they not give you any support, I find that hard to believe?

 

I know your finding it impossible right now but if you keep fighting to ensure he gets support you will get there eventually, sorry that you have not found some of our replies helpful or supportive, we try our best too.

 

JsMumxx

 

[Chiqqy]

Thanks JsMum, I just wanted to make it clear I'm not the evil stepmum all the time I don't want praise for doing what I have done to help him I just want it known that it hasn't always been like this and that things would have been worse for him if I hadn't been here.

Some think I reacted badly and they're are entitled to think that, I reacted full stop. If I didn't care about this childs future (and yes about my own kids' future on which this situation could have negative effects (could have serious negative effacts for all of us who live here and if that's selfish of me then so be it) I wouldn't have reacted all at.

I've clamed down a lot now (though am still angry, not just at him still) but we have still not heard from ANYONE regarding this situation nor about his future as an independant adult. Because I was never prepared to "look after" him well into his adulthood, we all want our kids to leave home eventually but I think his Dad thought he would never have to leave home.

I'm not being hostile now, but I don't really care what people think, unless they have walked a mile in my shoes they shouldn't judge me so easily. I know we all do it in certain situations, we can all say what we would do if such and such a thing happened to us, I've done it myself, but until it actually happens you really don't know how you will react.

I don't want sympathy either but it's having an effect on my job and my friendships.

It's not JUST about the person with ASD, if the people around them are falling apart then what? If we can't cope who is the person with ASD going to turn to? What effect will it have on them? I really don't think "the powers that be" think about anyof this, they sit behind their text books telling us what to do, but they don't really live it do they? They don't deal with it 24/7 365 days a year. When they leave work for the day that's it for them, they don't take all the stress and worry with them on holiday not even on their days off. Fair enough it's not their child, but they choose their career, we didn't choose for our relatives to have ASD.

I said I was still angry, I'm also sad about it all too.

 

Thanks to EVERYONE for taking the time to read and respond to my posts, I mightn't like or agree with what some of you said but you took the time, which is more than SS did.

 

Best wishes M x

 

I'd still like this topic locked/closed please.

 

 

 

 

[JsMum]

but we have still not heard from ANYONE regarding this situation nor about his future as an independant adult.

 

Would this be social services, are you still waiting for decisions to be made about his future and where he will live eventually? if nothing is happening, I too know how frustrating this can be, in my case Ive put in a complaint against social services and my son is now having a indepth assessment, and thats for the presant time, plans for his future are going to be made when he is 14 so we can get a good start ahead, by the looks of it we should of started that process the day he was born, I would contact them if no one has contacted you, what is it your waiting for them to do?

 

JsMumxxx