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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

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justine1

What on earth!!!

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justine1   

Hi

 

Just wanted some understanding really.My nine year old son(NT) has started throwing serious tantrams.He has done this in the past but since Saturday its far worse.

He is normally really calm and listens to what I say,for example he has to clean his room and do homework before going to play outdoors or use the computer.On Saturday before he went out I asked if he has done his homework,he said"I have started it and I have read" so I said that is fine so he can finish it on Sunday.

Turns out he lied.He then threw a tantrum because he was outside he didnt get any computer time,so he asked for this at 8pm,I said no as it was late, he threw all his things all over and coughed to make himself vomit.

 

On Sunday he had cleaned up his mess and in fact made the room really clean.He then begged for the computer,I said he has a reduced time because of his behaviour I also said he should go and finish his homework.He had a moan but did as told.he came back and used the computer.Then when it was bedtime he said I cant go to bed yet I havent done my homework and spelling.I then got furious and asked him why he lied for two days claiming he had done it?He got upset went to his room and started throwing things around again.

 

So I told him no computer now for a week.I told him when he got back from school that he needs to do the homework.He said he cant,I explained I cant help him as he has to write about a piece of art he did at school and I havent seen it.He then threw the book stomped upstairs and repeated the behaviour again!

I am so confused :unsure: Where has this come from?

 

I dont think anything is bothering him,cause he seems happy except for the tantrums.I feel he is spoilt but I dont think so?The rules have been the same for a year now so not sure whats going on.

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arghhhhhh the dreaded 9yr old and hormones! You are luckier (IMO) with boys as girls are horrendous for about 4 years!

 

Hope he settles down soon and it is a shortlived experience for you both xx

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justine1   

Thank you.It just came as a shock.I do hope he will settle down.I had to get his father to talk to him last night and he seems a bit better since.

I thought 9(well and 3/4)was a bit young for this but I guess not :unsure:

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zenemu   
Thank you.It just came as a shock.I do hope he will settle down.I had to get his father to talk to him last night and he seems a bit better since.

I thought 9(well and 3/4)was a bit young for this but I guess not :unsure:

 

I started puberty at 9 years old, it was an interesting time :)

 

Zen

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justine1   
I started puberty at 9 years old, it was an interesting time :)

 

Zen

So did I,but I thought as a female this is normal.So I thought 9 is young for boys.His father only started at 14!!!

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baddad   

I wouldn't bank on it being the puberty thing (but wouldn't rule it out completely) but think of it more as a 'pre-pubescent phase'... that way, if he's still 'doing a Kevin' at sixteen/seventeen it won't be such a shock to the system! :lol: Nines an age where all sorts of push-me-pull-you effects come into play - sort of too old for the sandpit but too young for kiss chase (there's another phase at around thirteen/fouteen where you're too old for the climbing frame and swings but too young for the pub and all it's charms. sadly, I think this phase is getting younger and younger, and where it was traditionally associated with 'hanging around outside the wimpy with a bottle of coke and pretending it's got brandy in' it's now quite often more a case of 'hanging around outside the off-license with a bottle of brandy and pretending it's got coke in it'). I think all you can do is keep a wary eye for any possible causes you haven't considered and buckle in for a (hopefully brief) bumpy ride. I think (as you probably guessed!) you need to stick to you guns as far as the sanctions/expectations etc go, but personally I try to avoid the prolonged ones as at nine a week can seem so long that it's more like science fiction than fact, and keeping the sanction going can bring both parent and child to the brink! That said, if that's what you've done historically then probably best not to change things now as it'll be taken as a sign of surrender! and either way, this time, if you've said a week, gotta stick to it, unless there's a sneaky trade you can make to negotiate it :whistle:

 

L&P

 

BD :D

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As far as I'm aware, all the wretched glands that make puberty such a joy to behold (and experience, if memory serves....) start to wake up and sed out teeny flahes at around 7 or 8, in boys. Not full blown hormonal activity, but they start to prepare for the onslaught!

That said, what you guys are seeing in your son seems more likely to be due to him developing behaviourally and socially- and not that far off what kids of a similar age are trying to pull! My youngest started trying this kind of thing out this year, the little toad that he is!

BD's advice is good- just keep an eye on him in case there's an underlying issue you haven't discovered yet, but this should pass as you're handling it well. Good luck, though- this stuff is such fun, isn't it??

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