How to stop breastfeeding.

[justine1]

Hi

My baby Eli is going to be exactly 22months this week and he is still fully breastfed at least five times daily.He has about 30ml of juice a day but then starts spitting out the rest.He drinks okay from a cup on his own.He absolutley refuses formula and cows milk.When his dad has taken him overnight(twice now) he goes the whole night and most of the day(about 18hrs) without any milk and very little juice.

 

He eats well,very good diet,I am desparate to get him off but have been trying 6mths now and no joy.He cries so bad and I know it will be temporary but wondered what else may work.

 

Thank you

[KezT]

the only solution I have to offer is to just do it!

 

pick one feed to drop and absolutely stick to it however much they cry. they don't need it, and it hurts you more than them - if you don't give in, they'll probably stop missing it in no time at all. definitely in a week or so. wait a further week or two, then pick another feed and do it again.

 

I found that the ones mid-morning/afternoon were easiest to drop (much to my surprise as I thought it would be the ones at meal times) as they were eady to replace with a snack the child really liked:)

 

If they do not have any cows milk & you are stopping breasfeeding, you should check in with your health visitor/GP about whether any replacement vitamins are needed

[call me jaded]

My number 4 child just didn't want to finish feeding either. With hindsight I think it was partly because she got a guaranteed time when she had attention from me. In the end I had flu and went to bed for 24 hours and that was it. Maybe you could wait until the next time he goes away and just stop. We switched to water.

[justine1]

Thank you for the advice!

I think he is only feeding properly twice a day,the rest of the time I can feel he is just using me for comfort.I dont want to get him something in place (i.e dummy or comforter) because he will then struggle to give it up too.

 

I think the night feed,before sleep will be a reall struggle as thats when he feeds the longest and properly,it is also how he falls asleep!

I am being firm,just hate seeing him cry

We will get there in the end.

[call me jaded]

Mmmmmm hugs with mummy and something yummy, why would he want to give it up? lol You'll have to find a bribe (or motivator) hehe We used to say she couldn't go somewhere because she was a baby and it was just for big girls, not babies and you're still a baby because...

[baranigirl]

Tis sucvh a toughie this one, but yes cold turkey is the only way

 

Luckily for me DD3 ave up on her own at 13.5 months and DS had to stop as he is milk protein allergic so has special formula milk, DD1 I stopped early as I fould it too hard and no support and DD2 was never BF

 

Best of luck with what you decide

 

BTW DS was 22 months on the 1st

[Samsam]

I'm sorry but the whole harsh cold turkey thing is incredibly wrong if a child uses the breast as a comforting method, I am a trained breastfeeding peer counsellor and I know that this method is akin to controlled crying and something I do not agree with whatsoever. If possible I would work out the times that he feeds as accurately as you can and during these times try to find something incredibly distracting and entertaining. If this doesn't work then a comforter may not be the end of the world not so much a dummy but maybe one of those rags with a head and an arms which you can always hold between yourself and your son so he still gets the closeness and something he could chew on as well but try to do this during the times he doesn't usually feed as this will help him realise he doesn't just have to get comfort from the breast. If you remove his main method of comfort too quickly it could create issues with separation anxiety which will manifest in other ways and at times you really don't want them to happen.

 

[Tabby-cat]

You have my sympathies with this one! My DD was 2 1/2 before I managed to stop breastfeeding The majority of the time, she was just using me as a dummy and it was getting embarrassing having this hulking great child pulling at my top! I worked out the times she was using me as a dummy and not actually feeding, and just refused to let her near my boobs at those times, saying 'no' and trying to get her attention onto something else. It wasn't instant, but after a few weeks she stopped. The last one to go was the bedtime one as she would fall asleep at my breast (so cute when 2 weeks old, not so cute at 2 1/2 years.... )

 

I don't think it will be an easy ride for either of you, but in the long run it needs to be done. Persevere and you will get there!

 

Good luck!

[justine1]

You have my sympathies with this one! My DD was 2 1/2 before I managed to stop breastfeeding The majority of the time, she was just using me as a dummy and it was getting embarrassing having this hulking great child pulling at my top! I worked out the times she was using me as a dummy and not actually feeding, and just refused to let her near my boobs at those times, saying 'no' and trying to get her attention onto something else. It wasn't instant, but after a few weeks she stopped. The last one to go was the bedtime one as she would fall asleep at my breast (so cute when 2 weeks old, not so cute at 2 1/2 years.... )

 

I don't think it will be an easy ride for either of you, but in the long run it needs to be done. Persevere and you will get there!

 

Good luck!

Thank you everyone <'>

Tabby-cat my eldest only stopped breastfeeding at 2 1/2 yrs as well,some people say that is why he is so clever But with my eldest he mostly drank at night,"helped himself" while I slept,and he drank plenty during the day he loved water so I was lucky.Eli is the last born so I do want to savour the moment but I am starting Uni in September so need him to be having milk from a cup.My other two both breastfed until 6mths and were fine when moving to a cup.I give Eli cuddles when he cries but he says "boobs" and keeps trying to get to them.He has done quite well today I must admit.I am lucky in that he isnt really clingy,he will just suck for 10-15min then he will go off and do something else,so the independence is already there.

 

I will come back and give an update soon

[Kathryn]

Sorry Samsam- I feel nobody has the right to judge another parent for making what is a very personal choice.

 

What's best for a baby is a happy parent, and sometimes that means a parent who puts some of their own needs first - and in Justine's case, the fact that she has 3 other children with their own demands has to be taken into account. I don't believe babies suffer in the long run from the breastfeeding choices parents make, and mothers are very vulnerable to being guilt tripped on the breastfeeding issue.

 

Believe me, when your child is in their mid teens, their breastfeeding history won't matter a jot - been there, done that and suffered all the angst, and now I wonder what the heck all the fuss was about. I don't think kids end up in therapy simply because mum has hoiked them off the breast unexpectedly, or God forbid, fed them on formula from birth.

 

He has shown he can go without it, so he will get there in the end. You are the expert here. Go with the flow (or lack of!) and do what suits you best. My son fed till 17 months and I can't remember how it stopped - I think gradually he just ate more and more other foods and the feeds got less and less and he just lost interest. I didn't intend to do it for so long but he refused to take anything else, so I sympathise! I could never get him to take a bottle - eventually he went straight to a feeding cup and cow's milk.

 

K x