Hello

[EvilSoupdrago]

I have recently found out about ASD, and I believe that I have either an ASD or symptoms that are close. I am just starting the process of asking for a diagnosis to be done but I wanted to ask people if knowing has helped them.

 

My symptoms seem mild these days as I am now 42 and have learned to work around many of my more erratic personality traits. I am now so practiced at this that I sometimes forget that I have problems at all: That is until something breaks my rules or routines and I go to pieces. Recently I have become troubled and I am finding it difficult to keep these traits under control, the worst problem for me is that nothing in my life has changed and I don't know why I am troubled.

 

I am a highly intelligent and articulate individual with excellent problem solving skills and I finding that this is working against me as people have a high expectation of me. Because I can cope with technical and intellectual problems people can't understand that many of life's so-called simpler tasks are very hard for me and sometimes downright distressing. When I try to explain that I can't go to the pub with them as I find it stressful or tell the more tactile people that I find people touching me to be distressing I find that people either think I am joking, eccentric or mentally ill - I am not sure which reaction upsets me most.

 

My wife is a compassionate woman but even she thinks that there's nothing really wrong with me and I am just a little odd; she is worried that I may open old wounds that have caused these "little quirks" by pursuing a diagnosis.

 

I don't think that knowing will stop me being the way I am, but I have blamed myself for every misery in my life and have always considered myself a failure (even though I have a relatively content existence). I am hoping that if I find out why I am the way I am (even if this is not due to ASD) it may help me make peace with myself and understand the things that have happened to me in the past. I was just wondering if anyone else has found knowing to be beneficial, or has it caused more problems?

 

A summary of me: I can very rarely read people. I can't understand hints or subtlety (it can take me days to realise that someone was trying to tell me something). I have a good (if inappropriate) sense of humour and a good sense of sarcasm but people laughing makes me uncomfortable as I always think it's directed at me. I can get obsessed with certain subjects but have such a poor memory that I find it difficult to get much other than fragments of knowledge. I repeat all my explanations at least twice and people rarely understand my explanations anyway. My speech is bombastic, pedantic, and if I have something to say I can talk right over people. I can be indecisive to the point of causing myself to have anxiety. I find it difficult to sit up straight and fidget constantly. I can't bear to be touched by people or animals (except the wife), but I find I have a childlike need for constant reassuring gestures such as cuddles and holding hands (only from the wife). I rarely feel emotions and when I do they are invariably extreme (depression, anger, anxiety). Even the slightest sound of people eating makes me feel nauseous. Dark neon-blue lightning makes me uncomfortable. I have such a severe phobia of embarrassment that I can't even bear to watch other people embarrassing themselves. I get on well with people, and I am liked (although the same people find me eccentric) but don't have any friends, nor any desire to have any. And I have no idea how small-talk works or what the rules for it are, which drives the wife potty.

 

I also ramble which is why I am going to stop typing as I could probably get another 200 words in on my "quirks"

 

[Tally]

Hello, and welcome to the forum.

 

There are some things there that sound like Asperger's, and others that sound more like a mental health problem, maybe something like anxiety, low self-esteem or social anxiety. It's quite possible to have both mental health problems and Asperger's, in fact the difficulties caused by Asperger's commonly lead to problems like depression and anxiety. Asperger's is a lifelong condition, so if your feelings have changed recently, then they are more likely to be caused by a mental health condition.

 

Personally, I have found that getting a diagnosis of Asperger's has been helpful overall. It has helped me to feel better about myself and the things I struggle with. Understanding the cause of my difficulties has also helped me find new ways around them, so I have been able to make progress and manage situations better.

[trekster]

I have recently found out about ASD, and I believe that I have either an ASD or symptoms that are close. I am just starting the process of asking for a diagnosis to be done but I wanted to ask people if knowing has helped them.

 

My symptoms seem mild these days as I am now 42 and have learned to work around many of my more erratic personality traits. I am now so practised at this that I sometimes forget that I have problems at all: That is until something breaks my rules or routines and I go to pieces. Recently I have become troubled and I am finding it difficult to keep these traits under control, the worst problem for me is that nothing in my life has changed and I don't know why I am troubled.

 

The above paragraph indicates to me that a diagnosis could be helpful to you. i wanted to know why i was different from others and you can only hide your problems for so long.

I am a highly intelligent and articulate individual with excellent problem solving skills and I finding that this is working against me as people have a high expectation of me. Because I can cope with technical and intellectual problems people can't understand that many of life's so-called simpler tasks are very hard for me and sometimes downright distressing. When I try to explain that I can't go to the pub with them as I find it stressful or tell the more tactile people that I find people touching me to be distressing I find that people either think I am joking, eccentric or mentally ill - I am not sure which reaction upsets me most.

 

All of those reactions would upset me as well, if i could avoid those people then i would but i understand it's not that simple in your situation. Some sort of reason for your quirks could help smooth things over at work.

My wife is a compassionate woman but even she thinks that there's nothing really wrong with me and I am just a little odd; she is worried that I may open old wounds that have caused these "little quirks" by pursuing a diagnosis.

 

Sounds like shes being protective, a diagnosis can lead to more understanding of quirks though. For about 3 hours last Thursday i hated being autistic. That rarely happens that i hate being autistic, it was only due to being refused services because of my autism that was the problem. However other services can be available for autistics in different fields. i was able to get extra exam time for example which was a tremendous help to me, i didnt ask for this type of separate conditions i just encountered a tutor who saw my struggles at the time as requiring further support. Now after recovering from the upset im back to feeling neutral about being autistic.

I don't think that knowing will stop me being the way I am, but I have blamed myself for every misery in my life and have always considered myself a failure (even though I have a relatively content existence). I am hoping that if I find out why I am the way I am (even if this is not due to ASD) it may help me make peace with myself and understand the things that have happened to me in the past. I was just wondering if anyone else has found knowing to be beneficial, or has it caused more problems?

 

i think a diagnosis will help you to stop blaming yourself for things you are unable to help. Perfectionism is a very difficult thing to resist.

A summary of me: I can very rarely read people. I can't understand hints or subtlety (it can take me days to realise that someone was trying to tell me something). I have a good (if inappropriate) sense of humour and a good sense of sarcasm but people laughing makes me uncomfortable as I always think it's directed at me. I can get obsessed with certain subjects but have such a poor memory that I find it difficult to get much other than fragments of knowledge. I repeat all my explanations at least twice and people rarely understand my explanations anyway. My speech is bombastic, pedantic, and if I have something to say I can talk right over people. I can be indecisive to the point of causing myself to have anxiety. I find it difficult to sit up straight and fidget constantly. I can't bear to be touched by people or animals (except the wife), but I find I have a childlike need for constant reassuring gestures such as cuddles and holding hands (only from the wife). I rarely feel emotions and when I do they are invariably extreme (depression, anger, anxiety). Even the slightest sound of people eating makes me feel nauseous. Dark neon-blue lightning makes me uncomfortable. I have such a severe phobia of embarrassment that I can't even bear to watch other people embarrassing themselves. I get on well with people, and I am liked (although the same people find me eccentric) but don't have any friends, nor any desire to have any. And I have no idea how small-talk works or what the rules for it are, which drives the wife potty.

 

I also ramble which is why I am going to stop typing as I could probably get another 200 words in on my "quirks"

 

All of the above sound like autistic characteristics. i hope you can find the peace you seek. Welcome to the forums.