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      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
bluefish

Help! Advice please

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bluefish   

Hi all

I am a single parent and so want to get off benifits and work again, I am thinking 16 hours not full time. My major stumbling block is ds. I would love to take a position as a breakfast chef that has just come up, the hours are perfect 7am till 10am daily we are up way before that so it would be a breeze. My Mum would be happy to do the school run and in holidays commit to looking after ds.....my only problem is ds. No one else has ever been able to take him to school, and he became extremely distressed at the thought of Grandma taking him.....my worry is that things are going so well at school I dont want to create problems..... anyone got any experience of this situation? I want and need to work but as things in the past have been so awfull with ds not coping and now for over a year things have been calm I dont want to mess that up, It is important to me that ds continues to be happy at school as when he was not the behaviour at home was very distressing! I feel like I am stuck because ds really finds change hard even with visual prompts and I dont want him to go through the distress but also want to find and take a job!

advice welcome

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vicbee   
Hi all

I am a single parent and so want to get off benifits and work again, I am thinking 16 hours not full time. My major stumbling block is ds. I would love to take a position as a breakfast chef that has just come up, the hours are perfect 7am till 10am daily we are up way before that so it would be a breeze. My Mum would be happy to do the school run and in holidays commit to looking after ds.....my only problem is ds. No one else has ever been able to take him to school, and he became extremely distressed at the thought of Grandma taking him.....my worry is that things are going so well at school I dont want to create problems..... anyone got any experience of this situation? I want and need to work but as things in the past have been so awfull with ds not coping and now for over a year things have been calm I dont want to mess that up, It is important to me that ds continues to be happy at school as when he was not the behaviour at home was very distressing! I feel like I am stuck because ds really finds change hard even with visual prompts and I dont want him to go through the distress but also want to find and take a job!

advice welcome

 

 

Hi Bluefish

 

I am in exactly the same position as you as a single parent - desparate to go back to work. Unfortunately i dont have anyone just round the corner to look after my daughter. I dont want to go full time as it would be too much to cope with for myself and my daughter yet i was told by my benefits office i could only earn £59 before all my income changed drastically. (not many jobs around with hours of that weekly salary)

 

I think your only option is to find work during school hours. I know its tempting to take the job because it seems perfect but its really worth waiting till the absolutely right thing comes along that will fit in with your son. It takes us so long to get things on an even keel with our kids after a bad bout and I think this would just upset the apple cart completely and make life hell for you and you would probably end up having to pack in the job anyway - causing more upset.

 

Its so nice to hear from another single mum in the same situation. I feel desparately guilty about being on benefits - ive worked all my life since i was 13 and have spent the past 3 years as my daughter's carer as she became quite ill with an asd related eating disorder just before she was diagnosed a year ago. I hate people asking me what I do. I have decided that my only option is to stay on the benefits and volunteer at a local school in order to gain some experience in this sector which could possibly lead to a job as its my only hope of balancing home and work life in the future - by working school hours only.

 

Id hold on and keep looking for something during term and school hours. You could end up with a job as a school cook!!

 

Good luck!

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justine1   

Hi

I am also a single mum.I got four boys aged,9,6,4 and nearly 2.My six yr old has AS.I stopped working two years ago because I separated from my boys' dad and I worked nights while he cared for them then daytime I would care for them.

 

I did three Open University courses since 18mths ago,so you could say most of the time I have been on benefits I have been a part time student.I have now gained a place at full time Uni to do a nursing degree.I have no help or support from anyone but I have taken a leap of faith and decided the only way to get out of the situation is for me to get a better education and thereafter a better career.Also even if you are on benefits while studying at least you can say you are a student instead of I am on benefits.

 

So you could always try and do a Open University course,that way you study in your own time,everything is free as you on benefits and you even get a £250 grant if you doing a 60point course.This maybe enough to get you into a higher paid job or you can go to furthur education which again you will basically be getting the same amount you get on benefits and many courses are around school hours.At least if you have a problem your mum is at hand to pick your child up from school.

 

Another option would be to find night shift,I did this for 6years,most places have a slightly higher pay rate as its unsociable hours and you can squeeze 10hours into one shift so you may only need to do 2 nights a week.Then you can sleep while your child is at school.Weekend work is also good,as again you can often get paid slightly more,if you did 8hrs Sat and Sun it will be 16hrs total.

Edited by justine1

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