How can I stope being one - sided? - I find it really hard to be interest in other people - what do I say???

[Candyfloss]

I am usually stuck for words

[Bluesbreaker]

hmmm, well what i do when i meet someone is start the small talk, hi who are you??? oh you know so and so??? how did you meet them??? what do you do for a living???? oh i see, so what do you for hobbies???? etc.

 

its a pretty good method but it does take a lot of confidence to do it and sometimes a lot of courage so take it in little steps if need be, i find it works everytime

[Candyfloss]

hmmm, well what i do when i meet someone is start the small talk, hi who are you??? oh you know so and so??? how did you meet them??? what do you do for a living???? oh i see, so what do you for hobbies???? etc.

 

its a pretty good method but it does take a lot of confidence to do it and sometimes a lot of courage so take it in little steps if need be, i find it works everytime

 

 

 

how do i then carry on the conversation?

[Bluesbreaker]

it'll flow naturally, you have to think outside the 'box' as such, which i appreicate can be difficultm but because of my upbringing around adults, its quite easy, also leave gaps and cues for them to ask questions

 

i

[Tally]

People do like to talk about themselves, so if you can ask them question about themselves, you can often get them to do most of the talking and come away feeling good about it. If you can pick up on things they say and as them more about it, you might be able to get a conversation flowing. For example, you could ask what they did at the weekend. Instead of just leaving it there, then you could ask them something about the things they did. Sometimes it's worth talking about things you're not interested in, just to show an interest in other people.

[trekster]

i normally meet people in social groups so i introduce myself and offer to shake their hand. i ask them where they're from, how they found out about aspergers, what they do with their time. The last question is very open ended so i then get more specific if they dont answer within 30 seconds.

 

i ask them if they work or are studying or looking for work? Also if they have lived in (name of their location) all their lives. i can comment about something they have that interests me eg i like that blue top you have on, it's my 2nd favourite colour.

 

i used to be very overloading when i 1st met someone so if i notice they are getting quieter or appear upset i tend to walk away and talk to someone else.

The NAS runs a program called Socialeyes which could interest you. Also there is a social group for neurodiverse and IIRC you mentioned ADHD, DANDA is for autistics, dyslexics, ADHDers, OCDers (and some think bipolar and schziphrenics are neurodiverse as well).