How to help stop hitting etc..

[Lynden]

Although he's never aggressive without good reason, L will lash out when he's confused or upset. He really struggles with transition even with good warning.

 

He also struggles with other children, more so those younger than him, touching him and will hit out at the adult next to him if this happens. He doesn't hit the child or people he doesn't know which is something at least!

 

He will hit, scratch, pull hair and kick but it doesn't seem to be something that he's entirely in control of, it's like he doesn't know what to do next.

 

He's newly verbal, well, for 6 months now ( :thumbs:) so it's slightly easier and he can tell us he wants to go home for example.

 

We use stop, hands down etc, will restrain him (if out and about, not at home) and tell him we are trying to help but can't if he is hitting, that it hurts and makes people sad, but I'm not sure how much of it goes in when he gets into that kind of a state.

 

If we get in quick enough, or depending on the situation, we can sometimes 'tickle monster' him out of it - which is fine at 7 but not so much at 14

 

He is still quite a little thing, but already I really struggle to, well almost can't, manage him if this happens when we are out and about.

 

At home I tend to give him time out and I know that it's safe, but obviously if we are out and about it's often impossible to do that and have him safe.

 

Although he is quite obsessed with books and reading a bit now, he hasn't quite got the level of understanding for social stories yet, although I think he will in future.

 

The other issue we have is that he is very unpredictable so we can never be sure what will actually set him off. This came up in his annual review too as the head asked what does set him off and his teacher and I just looked at one another and said you can't predict it! There are some obvious situations, noisy/busy indoor places, but I just avoid taking him there for now till we can give him some coping mechanisms. Some days he'll cope with one situation though and the next the same will really upset him.

 

Any advice welcome.

 

Thanks

Lynne

Edited July 2, 2010 by Lynden

[lollypopz]

Although he's never aggressive without good reason, L will lash out when he's confused or upset. He really struggles with transition even with good warning.

 

He also struggles with other children, more so those younger than him, touching him and will hit out at the adult next to him if this happens. He doesn't hit the child or people he doesn't know which is something at least!

 

He will hit, scratch, pull hair and kick but it doesn't seem to be something that he's entirely in control of, it's like he doesn't know what to do next.

 

He's newly verbal, well, for 6 months now ( :thumbs:) so it's slightly easier and he can tell us he wants to go home for example.

 

We use stop, hands down etc, will restrain him (if out and about, not at home) and tell him we are trying to help but can't if he is hitting, that it hurts and makes people sad, but I'm not sure how much of it goes in when he gets into that kind of a state.

 

If we get in quick enough, or depending on the situation, we can sometimes 'tickle monster' him out of it - which is fine at 7 but not so much at 14

 

He is still quite a little thing, but already I really struggle to, well almost can't, manage him if this happens when we are out and about.

 

At home I tend to give him time out and I know that it's safe, but obviously if we are out and about it's often impossible to do that and have him safe.

 

Although he is quite obsessed with books and reading a bit now, he hasn't quite got the level of understanding for social stories yet, although I think he will in future.

 

The other issue we have is that he is very unpredictable so we can never be sure what will actually set him off. This came up in his annual review too as the head asked what does set him off and his teacher and I just looked at one another and said you can't predict it! There are some obvious situations, noisy/busy indoor places, but I just avoid taking him there for now till we can give him some coping mechanisms. Some days he'll cope with one situation though and the next the same will really upset him.

 

Any advice welcome.

 

Thanks

Lynne

Hiya!

It was suggested to me by psych when ds is kicking off&lashing out,to try wrap him in a quilt&hold him so he feels safe&can regain control.

ok thats not practical when outdoors as you cant drag a 10tog quilt everywere u go lol

what about a special blanket maybe?

works for me but all kids are different

its just a thought

[JsMum]

 

 

how often are you having to restrain him when outdoors?

 

It maybe he is seeking this very sensory imput, so I agre with other post about a type of blanket, more a weigted blanket, if it is that he is acting physically to gain a restraint that is.

 

You sound like you are doing lots of the suggestions I would share that I use with J.

 

other things to look out for is when he is out, has he got access to food and drink.

is he tired, difficult mood, irritible before or on the way out?

I know you plan the outing but do you give him a visual countdown of when he is going on, with J I say in 10 mins were going to the shops, then 5mins, then right put on your shoes where going to the shops.

 

What was he doing before you go out.

 

Look at keeping a ABC chart they are good at looking for triggers and what consequences he is recieving.

 

The tickle monster may also be looked on as a reward or if hes like J, tickling too hard he goes nuts over, he doesnt like it and can send him into a rage so it maybe that it is backfiring.

 

I know not everyone agrees with me on this one but we also have a standing punch bag that he can kick and punch.

 

We also looked at anger and feelings.

 

What about relaxation/meditation sessions in the day, such as a guided meditation cd.

 

I cant use time out with J, it just esculates the situation, but we do have a sensory room. you could look at setting up a chill out area, somewhere he can just relax, beanbags, books, music, lights, something to distract him.

 

Do you have a local Autism outreach team, maybe they would come and give further ideas.

 

JsMumx

 

 

[Lynden]

Thanks guys. He definitely needs deep pressure to calm him, and he has a weighted blanket for bedtimes. I'm not sure how that would work when out and about though. He does have a complicated sensory profile but gets regular sensory integration which helps a lot. His room is his calm space too and he will go up there and chill out (he has a bubble tube, different lights, a music box etc). Time out works really well and in school if he's struggling he will go and sit in a corner for a bit and come back and join the lesson when he's ready. Often he'll actively partake in the lesson from his corner - and school are happy with that as he will rejoin them.

 

I don't think his acting out is because he is seeking sensory relief though as it's usually in situations where he doesn't want to do something, or doesn't want to stop an activity that he enjoys. We do give him countdowns, 10 minutes, 5 minutes, 3/2/1 minutes.

 

It's also not something that happens on a very regular basis, but it does happen often enough that I need to find a way to manage it/help him manage it before he gets bigger than me

 

What prompted this post was him not wanting swimming to end yesterday. It took me 40 minutes to get him dressed after we got out of the pool. We go swimming at a school ours is in collaboration with, they have a lovely hydro pool and it's only L, his sister and I, and one other little boy and his Mum in there at one time. He loves it and doesn't want to finish. Sometimes however he'll be fine - usually if I say we're going to the car for juice he's fine. Sometimes, like last night he wasn't. He can't dress himself yet, so I have to mostly do it and at home if he's being difficult we get down on the floor and I can basically manhandle him into his clothes quickly, however in a wet changing room, that's not possible. So trying to get him dressed whilst trying to avoid having my hair pulled and getting kicked isn't ideal. Once he's dressed and we're back in the car, a cuddle and he's calm again.

 

Yesterday was a 'different' day anyway as it was sports day so I guess I probably should have avoided swimming - but then my daughter misses out which I try to not have happen too often as there are many occasions where we have to leave somewhere early because he can't cope anymore.

 

I am going to go into school and have a chat with them about how they deal with it to see if they do anything differently than I do. Perhaps I just need to make sure I take the buggy everywhere as he is 'safe' in the buggy and usually calms quickly.

 

I am hoping it gets better as his vocabulary and understanding increase too as we do see a difference in the amount and length of his tantrums since he became verbal - I guess he just doesn't have the words yet.

 

Lynne

Edited July 2, 2010 by Lynden