SCHOOL BEEN COVERING UP SON'S SELF HARMING

[cmuir]

Hi

 

My son is nearly 9, has AS, and is in a mainstream school with 20 hours LA support.

 

I'm absolutely fuming! Attended a meeting at school on Monday where staff admitted to me that R had told them he's been self-harming (he sported a large bruise on his jaw just prior to holidays). Although this didn't happen in school, they should have recorded this. In addition, he's actually been banging his head on his desk. Again, staff didn't tell me – only found out because R told me when I asked about faint bruising on his fore-head (another child verified this separately).

 

Also, R has long-standing concentration issues. A CAMHS Psych observed last year and reported his concentration span was only 3/4 minutes at a time. School SFL teacher was adamant concentration was only an issue for writing. I'd asked that concentration be incorporated into his IEP, but she refused stating that other kids have difficulty concentration – I counter-argued stating that not all kids have been medically proven to be outwith the normal range. Same teacher was also very dismissive of possibility that R has Dysgraphia. I've been proven right about Dysgraphia (he was diagnosed recently with that and Dyspraxia). However, on Monday, after a lot of questioning by R's Paed who was preent, she finally came clean and said that his concentration issues were general.

 

Since Rs return to school a week ago, there have been 4 incidents already. School wrote in diary yesterday 'R was uncooperative, went on to have a good day'. I asked them to ellaborate and discovered that a teacher was covering for his new class teacher. R had apparently become verbally aggressive.

 

I've emailed HT with each of these issues and have also emailed Principal Ed Psych. I'm furious that time and again these people are blatantly covering things up. Clearly, kiddo isn't coping. We'll be seeing CAMHS in 2 weeks, so we'll see what comes of that. Makes me so angry that they're setting him up to fail, not recognising the warning signs, covering things up, etc.

 

Sorry to rant!

 

Caroline.

[Kathryn]

Rant away! <'>

 

How demoralising for you to have to start the new school year on a low note. I hope your emails manage to move things forward and you can reach agreement with the school on how you would like them to communicate with you. Perhaps some of your son's behaviour is due to settling in anxiety at the start of term?

 

 

K x

[Emmet Murphy]

Although this didn't happen in school, they should have recorded this.

How can school staff record an incident which happened outside of school?

 

Going from what you have written it doesn't really sound to me like anything is being covered up. It does sound like some mistakes have been made but there is a colossal gulf between that and deliberately 'seeting a child up to fail'. Is there any proof that staff knew about the headbanging?

 

It does sound as though things might need to be changed (it is too early in the year to make any firm judgements) but your best chance of achieving that is by being positive with school staff and trying to work with them. No school is perfect and staff will make mistakes and get stuff wrong now and again (we are humans after all!) But after 10+ years of working with a range of SEN pupils in different schools, I have never come across anyone who did not want to help the pupils progress and achieve their potential. By the way, I'm not saying never complain - there is definitely a time and a place for that.

[Sally44]

I would put the ball back into the schools court asking them to ensure they record all incidents in the home/school book.

I don't know that these behaviours are necessarily classed as 'self harm'. They are typical of an ASD, and are signs of anxiety, stress, frustration and generally not coping. So write into school saying you want all incidents recorded in the home/school book and say you are concerned that a vulnerable child is showing behaviours typical of an ASD and related to his levels of anxiety, stress and frustration and that these behaviours show that he is not coping. Ask school to seek advice from the EP and SALT about how support can be increased for your son. See what their response to that is.

[cmuir]

How can school staff record an incident which happened outside of school?

 

Going from what you have written it doesn't really sound to me like anything is being covered up. It does sound like some mistakes have been made but there is a colossal gulf between that and deliberately 'seeting a child up to fail'. Is there any proof that staff knew about the headbanging?

 

It does sound as though things might need to be changed (it is too early in the year to make any firm judgements) but your best chance of achieving that is by being positive with school staff and trying to work with them. No school is perfect and staff will make mistakes and get stuff wrong now and again (we are humans after all!) But after 10+ years of working with a range of SEN pupils in different schools, I have never come across anyone who did not want to help the pupils progress and achieve their potential. By the way, I'm not saying never complain - there is definitely a time and a place for that.

 

 

Hi

 

Incidents HAVE occurred in school (and at home):

 

'Although this didn't happen in school, they should have recorded this. In addition, he's actually been banging his head on his desk.' - this was in class.

 

The point is that school have repeatedly failed to tell me when, for example, my son has banged his head repeatedly off his desk. I'm not suggesting no one wants to help, but it's unrealistic to believe that school with assist him in achieving his full potential. They neither have the expertise, resources or the money to do that. If they repeatedly fail to pass on info on whether kiddo is coping or not, then they're actually doing him a great dis-service. R gets 20 hours LA support and there are another 4 AS kids in his class (one gets 10 hours support). So, given that there's one LA in the class, the figures don't add up - it's very much in the school's interests to have R in school so that they're able to employ a LA to assist not just him, but the other kids too. I most definitely do think I have grounds to complain if school aren't telling me when my son is head-banging (which amounts to self-harm), when they've previously stated that he only has difficulty concentrating only for written tasks – yet, have thankfully now said he has overall concentration issues ONLY when questioned at length by R's consultant. The list goes on.

Edited September 9, 2010 by cmuir

[cmuir]

I would put the ball back into the schools court asking them to ensure they record all incidents in the home/school book.

I don't know that these behaviours are necessarily classed as 'self harm'. They are typical of an ASD, and are signs of anxiety, stress, frustration and generally not coping. So write into school saying you want all incidents recorded in the home/school book and say you are concerned that a vulnerable child is showing behaviours typical of an ASD and related to his levels of anxiety, stress and frustration and that these behaviours show that he is not coping. Ask school to seek advice from the EP and SALT about how support can be increased for your son. See what their response to that is.

 

 

Hi

 

If a child is headbanging irrespective of whether it's out of frustration/aggression/etc, that is still self-harming. I've already written to the school, Prinicipal Ed Psych and had an unsatisfactory response. The following day, they failed to note another incident saying 'R was uncooperative'. I asked for clarification, and discovered that R was aggressive and verbally abusive towards a teacher. I've gone back to the Principal Ed Psych stating I'd like him to address these issues and if he doesn't get back to me within 5 working days, I'll be making a formal complaint to the LEA.

Edited September 9, 2010 by cmuir

[Karen A]

How can school staff record an incident which happened outside of school?

 

 

 

Hi.

As a general observation if a child reports an incident that happened outside of school surely it is very important that school record it.

I would have thought that self-harming,bruising and a child reporting incidents that happen outside of school could all potentially be safeguarding issues which should be recorded and followed up.

I am sure in this case this is not the situation.

However schools do clearly have a statutary duty to follow up any potential safe-guarding issues reported by pupils.

Karen.

[cmuir]

staff admitted to me that R had told them he's been self-harming (he sported a large bruise on his jaw just prior to holidays). Although this didn't happen in school, they should have recorded this. In addition, he's actually been banging his head on his desk. Again, staff didn't tell me – only found out because R told me when I asked about faint bruising on his fore-head (another child verified this separately).

 

Hi

 

Thanks for all your comments.

 

Sorry, perhaps I didn't make things clear.

 

Although R told school staff that he self-harmed (took place outwith school), he has also self-harmed/headbanged in school.

 

I think staff should have told me that R told them he hurts himself. But more worrying, I'm stunned that they didn't tell me he actually headbangs in school. In either instance, this information should have been passed on and is particularly important to CAMHS.

[Emmet Murphy]

Hi.

As a general observation if a child reports an incident that happened outside of school surely it is very important that school record it.

I would have thought that self-harming,bruising and a child reporting incidents that happen outside of school could all potentially be safeguarding issues which should be recorded and followed up.

I am sure in this case this is not the situation.

However schools do clearly have a statutary duty to follow up any potential safe-guarding issues reported by pupils.

Karen.

 

In some situations bruising absolutely would be of interest to school staff but to suggest that all bruises on every child should be recorded as a matter or course is not realistic. Following up safe-guarding issues usually includes a phone call to social services - if schools called them over every bruise then they would never be off the phone. I'm pretty sure most parents would be less than impressed also.

 

I don't know about the arrangements in the OP's school but in a lot of special schools there is little face-to-face contact between home and school which results in inevitable communication difficulties. These difficulties apply both ways - home to school as well as vice versa. It isn't anyone's fault but it is the norm (in my experience anyway). I once had a child whose behaviour suddenly deteriorated quite rapidly. We called home and it transpired they were having their bathroom done and had been going next door to wash! I know I have on occasions forgotten to put stuff in the home-school book. Nobody does it deliberately but the lack of face-to-face contact definitely puts parents (and school staff to some extent) at a disadvantage over those who meet every day.

[Emmet Murphy]

I think staff should have told me that R told them he hurts himself. But more worrying, I'm stunned that they didn't tell me he actually headbangs in school. In either instance, this information should have been passed on and is particularly important to CAMHS.

Just to be clear - you absolutely 100% should have been informed of this.

[cmuir]

In some situations bruising absolutely would be of interest to school staff but to suggest that all bruises on every child should be recorded as a matter or course is not realistic. Following up safe-guarding issues usually includes a phone call to social services - if schools called them over every bruise then they would never be off the phone. I'm pretty sure most parents would be less than impressed also.

 

I don't know about the arrangements in the OP's school but in a lot of special schools there is little face-to-face contact between home and school which results in inevitable communication difficulties. These difficulties apply both ways - home to school as well as vice versa. It isn't anyone's fault but it is the norm (in my experience anyway). I once had a child whose behaviour suddenly deteriorated quite rapidly. We called home and it transpired they were having their bathroom done and had been going next door to wash! I know I have on occasions forgotten to put stuff in the home-school book. Nobody does it deliberately but the lack of face-to-face contact definitely puts parents (and school staff to some extent) at a disadvantage over those who meet every day.

 

 

 

Absolutely, and nor would I expect this, however, coupled (and that's the key) with the fact that R self harms in school is significant and should have been relayed back to me and other professionals. There's a lot of background which is mainly about the school failing to recognise warning signs of R not coping. This is down to the fact it's a mainstream school and they have their limitations. Whilst you're right that communication issues can occur on both sides of the fence so to speak, however, when failure on either side to pass on significant information which could ultimately reduce a child's anxiety levels, lead to extra provision of support, etc, doesn't make it right, and it is someone's responsibility (usually HT). When a child is in school, the school have a duty of care to ensure that child's wellbeing and safety, etc.

[Karen A]

In some situations bruising absolutely would be of interest to school staff but to suggest that all bruises on every child should be recorded as a matter or course is not realistic. Following up safe-guarding issues usually includes a phone call to social services - if schools called them over every bruise then they would never be off the phone. I'm pretty sure most parents would be less than impressed also.

 

I don't know about the arrangements in the OP's school but in a lot of special schools there is little face-to-face contact between home and school which results in inevitable communication difficulties. These difficulties apply both ways - home to school as well as vice versa. It isn't anyone's fault but it is the norm (in my experience anyway). I once had a child whose behaviour suddenly deteriorated quite rapidly. We called home and it transpired they were having their bathroom done and had been going next door to wash! I know I have on occasions forgotten to put stuff in the home-school book. Nobody does it deliberately but the lack of face-to-face contact definitely puts parents (and school staff to some extent) at a disadvantage over those who meet every day.

 

 

 

I do agree with many of the things you say.I have two sons both at mainstream.

I would not expect to be contacted regarding every bruise or mark.

I would certainly not expect to be contacted about every minor issue .

However I would expect that where children are known to have ASD and be vulnerable it would be even more important to follow up every issue.

I did not say in any case every bruise or mark.

 

I said

I would have thought that self-harming,bruising and a child reporting incidents that happen outside of school could all potentially be safeguarding issues which should be recorded and followed up

 

 

Together self-harming,bruising and a child reporting incidents that happen outside school could togetherpoint to a potential safeguarding issue.

 

This is even more important where a child is known to have ASD when it is known that statistically children with disabilities are known to be more at risk of abuse compared to their peers.

Also children with ASD often do not have the same pain perception.It is very difficult to asses an injury and so even more important than usual to communicate with parents.

My son fell in the playground on his first day at secondary school in what school thought was a very minor incident.Fortunately school called me to take a look and he had broken his arm.

 

 

 

 

 

I have frequent contact with parents of children from my local Specialist Provision.

I know it is difficult to maintain contact and communication.

However the reality is that they do use home-school contact books.

I have two sons both of whom have always been in mainstream.

Ben is 12 and has AS.J is 14.

At primary school far from meeting the teacher every day an appointment was needed to talk to staff.

It could take days.

At the current secondary school after a great deal of work and because of Email it is easier to contact staff.

However as for face contact I could go for months without seeing a teacher.

 

Also I am extremely supportive of teachers and TAs who do a very difficult job.

However it is a job for which they are payed and which they do for a limited time.

Parents recieve no training to parent any child and often have minimal help in supporting a child with ASD.

They often have no time off,minimal support and little respite in a role for which they are ill prepared and may not have chosen.

So I do not believe that expectations can be applied both ways equally.

 

Although I am currently class myself as a carer for want of a better explanation of my role in life I was previously a district nurse.I trained with Health Visitors and my training did include child protection.

I have also worked in education myself and trained as a TA.

My husband works in the NHS also and has done for over twenty years.

With two sons now at secondary I think we are very realistic in terms of our expectations.

Edited September 10, 2010 by Karen A

[Karen A]

How can school staff record an incident which happened outside of school?

 

Going from what you have written it doesn't really sound to me like anything is being covered up. It does sound like some mistakes have been made but there is a colossal gulf between that and deliberately 'seeting a child up to fail'. Is there any proof that staff knew about the headbanging?

 

It does sound as though things might need to be changed (it is too early in the year to make any firm judgements) but your best chance of achieving that is by being positive with school staff and trying to work with them. No school is perfect and staff will make mistakes and get stuff wrong now and again (we are humans after all!) But after 10+ years of working with a range of SEN pupils in different schools, I have never come across anyone who did not want to help the pupils progress and achieve their potential. By the way, I'm not saying never complain - there is definitely a time and a place for that.

 

I thought I would just say.

There are some excellent staff around both in Speciaist and mainstream provision.

We have worked with over a hundred different professionals in the last three years and I remember the vast majority very positively.

Some of them have changed the lives of not just our children but our whole family.

However we have come across one or two who would go as far as to say children with SEN should not be in their school.

Far from wanting Ben to progress they have actively suggested we look at other schools.

 

Cmuir has not said herself.

However I know she has been attempting to get some provision in place for as long as I can remember and that is too long.

Hence her frustration and need to complain.This is not a one off.It is one of dozens of issues not followed up.

What is more she is not unusual.

It appears that your experience has been very positive which is great.

However I long for the day when thisis the experience of all parents here most of the time because I can spend more time in the garden and less posting here.

 

Cmuir sorry to talk for you I do apologise if that was not appropriate.

Karen.

Edited September 10, 2010 by Karen A

[trekster]

The NAS have written a report "no secrets self guarding vulnerable adults". i hope this can help you get

the support you need. Also their current campaign is called "you need to know" which is an ASD child mental

health campaign. i knew something was different about me at age 7, that difference wasnt recognised until

after i was 16 and by then i was self harming for most of my teenage years. Good luck.

[Karen A]

Hi.

I recognise this is slightly off topic however I thought I would post here as it is a very good example of some of the difficulties parents face in communicating with schools.

I had reason to Email one of Ben's teachers this evening.

Ben has a Statement of SEN.He has a diagnosis of dyspraxia and AS.

He is funded for fifteen hours support per week plus delegated funding.

I know the teacher very well as she has taught my elder son.She is very helpful.

However her approach to dealing with a situation today suggested that she was not aware of Ben's needs or a history that goes back to this time last year of being bullied by a specific pupil.

It turns out the staff have not yet been issued with any information regarding SEN for the pupils they are teaching this year.

Ben went back to school on Wedensday.

[Sally44]

Absolutely, and nor would I expect this, however, coupled (and that's the key) with the fact that R self harms in school is significant and should have been relayed back to me and other professionals. There's a lot of background which is mainly about the school failing to recognise warning signs of R not coping. This is down to the fact it's a mainstream school and they have their limitations. Whilst you're right that communication issues can occur on both sides of the fence so to speak, however, when failure on either side to pass on significant information which could ultimately reduce a child's anxiety levels, lead to extra provision of support, etc, doesn't make it right, and it is someone's responsibility (usually HT). When a child is in school, the school have a duty of care to ensure that child's wellbeing and safety, etc.

 

I agree with what you are saying. What are the schooling options in Scotland?

I've also had some instances with my son that have resulted in a referal to CAHMS. Not that we have seen anyone yet because the waiting list is so long. But my opinion is that many of the 'behaviours' my son was showing were due entirely to not coping in certain situations. It is definately related to the amount of professional input, because when a child is of around average cognitive ability there is alot that can be done to explictly teach how to respond better to situations or environments, and the level of professional support and input does tend to directly correlate to how the child copes.

So identifying that a child has more needs means that they will require more support/funding and the money to do that.

Are you ultimately aiming for a different kind of school, or can you get more provision detailed in his Statement (or the equivalent you have?. Are his current school insisting that they are coping (and that your son is coping?). I did have to have a conversation with my son's previous HT and tell her that her insistence that they could meet my son's needs was causing him to fail and that it would actually help him if they admitted they could not do it. The HT admitted to me that it was very hard for her to admit that the school had failed my son, and that she was very protective of her staff. You need to be very careful not to make this a criticism of the school (eventhough that is what it might actually be). But you also need to be very clear about what you are intending to do with this information and what the end goal will be.

I also think it is useful to think about what is causing the head banging etc. 'Self Harm' tends to indicate mental illness. Whereas alot of ASD behaviour (which is harming themselves), is due to anxiety, frustration, avoidance behaviours etc which is not necessarily a mental deterioration in the same way that someone might cut themselves with a razor etc. There is a difference and there is a different way to approach and support children that are hurting themselves in an ASD typical way. But that is not to exclude that children can have mental illness, become depressed and suicidal etc.

For example a child with low tactile sensation may bite themselves (and others) for various reasons. The root cause of that maybe sensory rather than mental, emotional or behavioural. And to get the better and relevent outcome you need to be focused on what the real problem is.

Don't know if that makes sense to others at all, but that's how I see it.

[Karen A]

I agree with what you are saying. What are the schooling options in Scotland?

I've also had some instances with my son that have resulted in a referal to CAHMS. Not that we have seen anyone yet because the waiting list is so long. But my opinion is that many of the 'behaviours' my son was showing were due entirely to not coping in certain situations. It is definately related to the amount of professional input, because when a child is of around average cognitive ability there is alot that can be done to explictly teach how to respond better to situations or environments, and the level of professional support and input does tend to directly correlate to how the child copes.

So identifying that a child has more needs means that they will require more support/funding and the money to do that.

Are you ultimately aiming for a different kind of school, or can you get more provision detailed in his Statement (or the equivalent you have?. Are his current school insisting that they are coping (and that your son is coping?). I did have to have a conversation with my son's previous HT and tell her that her insistence that they could meet my son's needs was causing him to fail and that it would actually help him if they admitted they could not do it. The HT admitted to me that it was very hard for her to admit that the school had failed my son, and that she was very protective of her staff. You need to be very careful not to make this a criticism of the school (eventhough that is what it might actually be). But you also need to be very clear about what you are intending to do with this information and what the end goal will be.

I also think it is useful to think about what is causing the head banging etc. 'Self Harm' tends to indicate mental illness. Whereas alot of ASD behaviour (which is harming themselves), is due to anxiety, frustration, avoidance behaviours etc which is not necessarily a mental deterioration in the same way that someone might cut themselves with a razor etc. There is a difference and there is a different way to approach and support children that are hurting themselves in an ASD typical way. But that is not to exclude that children can have mental illness, become depressed and suicidal etc.

For example a child with low tactile sensation may bite themselves (and others) for various reasons. The root cause of that maybe sensory rather than mental, emotional or behavioural. And to get the better and relevent outcome you need to be focused on what the real problem is.

Don't know if that makes sense to others at all, but that's how I see it.

 

Hi.

I know you had a good go at explaining self-harm but the distinction between self-harm in ASD and self-harm for other reasons are not as clear and are far more complex.

People with other difficulties in there lives do explain self-harm as an action to obtain some sort of stimulation and sensory experience.They may well self harm as a way of managing anxiety or frustration or even as a form of avoidance.

Many people who write about self-harm would also not class it as a form of mental illness but as a response to difficulties which they cannot manage.An understandable response to a difficult situation.

Some people who self-harm are people who cope in most areas of there lives.Although some professionals in the past gave these people the label mental illness or various specific disorders this label is not now often considered helpful because it avoids the need to offer support or explore the reasons behind self-harm.

Some people who self-harm would not think it indicated a deterioration in their condition either.It is just something that they have got into a pattern of doing.

 

Some children with ASD may head bang but this is different to self harm in response to anxiety.It will usually be a pattern that has always happened.

 

It is important to not place all children with ASD who self-harm under the same umbrella because I have known CAMHS professionals to take the view that because a child who has ASD is self-harming it is part of them having ASD and so there is no need to offer any new intervention at all....even when the self-harm was new.

 

Self-harm is distressing whether a child has AS or profound ASD and severe learning difficulties.

Some behaviours may be mild self-stimulation rather than profound ASD but it does not follow that there is less need for thorough investigation.

Children with profound ASD may also be bored,unhappy,frustrated or in pain.They may use self-stimulation as a way of coping and this still requires expert input.Some would say more expert input because they cannot explain why they are using self stimulation as a way of coping.

 

I have thought about this issue a lot because I saw a huge difference in my area in the CAMHS provision for children with AS or emotional difficulties compared with those with ASD or other learning difficulties.

Professionals would often consider self-harm and other signs of distress as being part of ASD where if the child did not have ASD the child with similar difficulties would have been considered in need of urgent therapeutic input.

I felt this was an equality issue because all children should be entitled to the same standard of care whether they have a disability or not.

Edited September 12, 2010 by Karen A