'Aspie' Girls - info. wanted...

[Saneasever]

Hello everyone.

 

Can any of you recommend any good books / web sites that will help me gain a better understanding of my daughter (A., nearly 9yrs old, newly diagnosed 'Aspie').

 

She's prone to high levels of anxiety, has sensory issues (hypersensitive to strong smells and loud noise), and is somewhat clumsy - yet beautiful, kind and loving...

 

Having had a hellish 3 months in hospital with her, we're finding it difficult to know if her behaviour at the moment is 'Aspie' in origin. We're thinking some of it may be 'separation anxiety' (she's regressed and is very cuddly these days), or could it be emotional trauma?

 

She's a bright, articulate child, yet so not herself since our time in hospital. Other than school (which is staged re-intergration at the moment), getting her out of the house is hard work. She used to enjoy her friends, but I'm not even sure she wants to go to (one of her) best friend's birthday parties that's in a months time... Should I try and encourage her to go, or let her lead the pace and accept a 'no'?

 

Would welcome your input...

[Sammysnake]

My daughter is 10 and Aspie. I've learned lots from browsing this website and from various books:

 

The Complete Guide to Aspeger's Syndrome: Tony Attwood's

This is like the 'Bible' of AS, has lots of detail in and a section on AS and girls if you get the updated copy

 

Asperger's and Girls: Tony Attwood, Teresa Bolick, Catherine Faherty, and Lisa Iland

This was good, lots of stuff for future reference but quite Americanised

 

Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome by Rudy Simone

This one is a series of actual experiences from girls and women with AS. Personally I found this one a bit negative, I guess I'm hoping for a much better outcome for my girl but it will be much more relevant to other's experiences.

 

Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence by Luke Jackson

I'm reading this one at the moment and I love it! It's written by a 13 year old lad with AS but is really down to earth and says it as it is. It has direct advice in each chapter for parents, teachers and kids with AS.

 

With anything you read, there will be bits that apply to your daughter and bits that do not. Each person is a unique individual. I try to read as much and as broadly as possible to give me an idea of what to look out for but also try hard not to expect my daughter to act in a certain way just because she has AS and other with it have had certain experiences or behaviours. Good luck and if you have any specific questions, please post. It's a really supportive community on here <'> .

 

As for the party, others may well disagree but in my daughter's case I wouldn't push her to go to a party if she didn't want to as for Beth, this can be a really stressful situation at the best of times. Encourage your daughter to socialise again yes, but I recommend just one friend at a time as she rebuilds her confidence after the hospital stuff. Parties really can be hell on earth for some kids .

Edited October 19, 2010 by Sammysnake

[LS2242]

Tony Attwood is the best by far, I think. The most useful thing we have found is to take our son as he is and if we have an area of difficulty, such as sensory or change of routine then we look for advice on best ways of dealing with this.

It could be quite possible that your daughter goes not want to go anywhere after spending so long away from the home environment. If it was bad experience for her, then I would suspect she has a fear of having to return hence why if she is at your side, you would then fight her corner.

As for the party - absolutely encourage her to go. Once she has been, she may realise that it was not too bad and u picked her up at the end! Then next time, she has had the experience and it may not be so daunting. If when the time comes the anxiety is extreme then u may have to reconsider. Encourage the friendships, help her by giving her the opportunities.

Asd children need to learn the skills and therefore as they don't come second nature they have to practice and practice. It may help to invite the friend round for tea before hand

My only reservation would be if the party was too loud for her.

[Chezumss]

i I don't know about any books but I do have experience with it. I'm diagnosed with aspergers 1 year ago. I got to a point where I didn't go to school or go out of the house. Having a go at doing things is helpful as said above. I get really anxious over little things and refuse to do/ try them, but then if I do try it I realise that it's the thought which is much worse, and doing the thing is actually enjoyable, or not as bad as I thought.

Edited June 29, 2021 by Lufty
Removed age of poster

[Sammysnake]

Thought I'd better rephrase myself. I totally agree with what others have said about encouraging participation in social events and creating opportunities for friendships. My daughter has always gone to birthday parties, initially with me going along to support her as she found them really quite difficult but as she's grown she is now much more able to cope with them and I keep out of the way! The only reason I said don't push it with this party is because of the trauma your daughter's been through with the hospital stuff. I thought it might be better to start smaller but certainly encourage her to go if she doesn't get too stressed about it. Trust your own judgement too as I think we usually know how far to push our kids. Good luck .

[trekster]

Aspergirls ive heard is an excellent book. Also try the NAS bookshop.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/shop/books-and-resources-from-the-nas.aspx

[AutisticMillionaire]

Useful site and shameless self promotion: http://www.teenagerswithaspergers.com/

Edited November 6, 2010 by AutisticMillionaire