Silver Linings

[KezT]

Thought I'd share my silver lining story

 

Apparently, some **** of a neighbour reported DH to social services for child abuse when he pulled DS out of the car kicking & screaming last month

 

So the duty SW phoned us up & arranged a visit last week - only 20 days after the reported abuse I wasn't to worried because I knew we hadn't done anything, but it's still a bit scary when social services send a duty SW out to your house without giving any information as to what it is about

 

SW went through what happened with us, and with DS (who didn't remember anything about the incident other than he had been naughty - when I asked who had been hurt, he suggested the car or daddy, but not himself <'> ) and obvously wasn't at all concerned about the report

 

Then she asked about what support we're getting. I pointed out that I'd tried to get SS to contact us on several occaisions, as had the school, all to no avail. I mentioned that not only was DS disabled, but he & his sisters were all young carers too, yet we still had no joy from any of the agencies because everyone in our area required SS referals (I have self referred to a number, unsuccessfully). I said I had given up trying

 

She shook her head and arranged an immediate apointment to come and do a proper assessment. She came back today and did it. At last we are officially on SS books! As I said, even if all we get is a referral to Bernardos, they run lots of outings in the school holidays etc which would be so helpful to let all the kids have fun! And hopefully, we will at last get a named contact to put on forms etc

 

I'll wait and see what actally happens, but considering how hard it was to get SS to talk to us by myself, I have to thank the busy body neighbour for providing the necessary shove

[Kathryn]

Glad it turned out OK Kez - even thought it isn't the usual recommended route for referral!

 

K x

[Mandapanda]

Hi Kez

 

I'm glad this worrying situation has turned into a potentially helpful one!

[Sammysnake]

Really glad it's worked out well. I guess it's really difficult for anyone to know what to do for the best. I'm glad that SS responded to this report and that the SW was sensible and good enough at her job to immediately see there was nothing untoward and get the ball finally rolling on the support you're asking for. For once it seems to be working right. How many times do we hear of reports which are not followed up and real harm goes on unchecked. Being devil's advocate though, I don't know what else the neighbour could have done. It wouldn't have gone down well if they'd approached at the time to ask what was going on and if they ignored it and then there really was harm going on and they didn't help, it would be really upsetting. Some people are just trouble makers but there are others who really do mean well. I remember seeing a woman interviewed who lived next door to a child who was beaten and starved to death. She said things were clearly not right but she hadn't reported anything. Then again I guess there would be more in that case to have caused alarm than a one-off of a child having a battle in the street, hmmm lots of food for thought.

 

I really hope you get some good support in place for you and your family now and that this neighbour turns out to be a 'means well' rather than a trouble maker .

[KezT]

Really glad it's worked out well. I guess it's really difficult for anyone to know what to do for the best. I'm glad that SS responded to this report and that the SW was sensible and good enough at her job to immediately see there was nothing untoward and get the ball finally rolling on the support you're asking for. For once it seems to be working right. How many times do we hear of reports which are not followed up and real harm goes on unchecked. Being devil's advocate though, I don't know what else the neighbour could have done. It wouldn't have gone down well if they'd approached at the time to ask what was going on and if they ignored it and then there really was harm going on and they didn't help, it would be really upsetting. Some people are just trouble makers but there are others who really do mean well. I remember seeing a woman interviewed who lived next door to a child who was beaten and starved to death. She said things were clearly not right but she hadn't reported anything. Then again I guess there would be more in that case to have caused alarm than a one-off of a child having a battle in the street, hmmm lots of food for thought.

 

I really hope you get some good support in place for you and your family now and that this neighbour turns out to be a 'means well' rather than a trouble maker .

 

Actualy, I said to the SW that I'd rather everyone reported everything and 99% turned out to be fine, than the 1% were missed - she thought it was vey community mindeed of me She was concerned that we would try to find out who had reported us and, one assumes, take "revenge"

 

But, then again, DS is nearly as big as DH, and DH uses a stick/mobility scooter. In a fight, there's little doubt abou who would come out worse off. Also, pulling a screaming child out of a car hardly counts as abuse in my book. Which is why I wasn't too worried when they said they wantedto come see us

 

Plus, the only person I can imagine would report us (as we get on well with several neighbours, and several others would be both unwilling and unable to contact the authorities about pretty much anything....)is the bloke accross the road, who spends his days loitering in the street with the baby screaming in the house and tends to hang out his toddler son's window of an evening, holding the baby and chain smoking......

[chris54]

Apparently we had someone report us to SS, our crime, since my 21 year old step daughter moved back in with us we sometime leave her to look after (Babysit) our 11 year old ASD son!!.

We only know about this because inquiries were made to our family support worker who took it upon herself to tell us. Nobody has ever been in touch with us about it.

It would actually be nice to have some input from SS but non is forthcoming to date. Ive tried contacting them but you just go round in circles and get nowhere.